Constellations

Little Brother

THREE DAYS LATER

There was a knock at the motel door. Cas looked through the peephole hopefully, but Dean was not the one standing in the doorway; it was Sam. Cas opened it hesitantly.

"Hey Cas."

"Hi Sam." Everything felt awkward; Cas didn't know the first thing about- he was covered in scrapes and bruises. A sudden anxiety washed over Cas. Where was Dean? Sam seemed to read this on Castiel's face.

"He's fine, don't worry. He's going back to the bunker - where we live," Sam clarified when he saw Castiel's confused expression. "We got Metatron. We followed the directions you gave us and found where he was staying."

"How'd you get so hurt?" Cas asked, his voice faltering. 

Sam motioned towards the couch. "Can I sit?" he asked still standing in the doorway.

"Oh yeah, of course, sorry." Sam sat down, but Cas stayed standing, still unsure on how to communicate with Sam.

"Do you need ice or anything?" Cas asked starting to walk towards the fridge.

"No, I'm fine thanks."

Cas stopped awkwardly and grabbed a chair near him to sit.

"It wasn't as bad as you think." Sam said.

"What?"

"The fight: we've gone through a lot worse so don't beat yourself up over how we got hurt because we were getting Metatron for you. Dean would have found a way whether you gave us the directions or not."

Cas was shocked. How was it that Sam could know exactly what he was thinking? Had they really been that close? A sudden guilt washed over Castiel. However awkward he felt, Sam was doubly hurt that Cas could not remember him; he could see it in Sam's face.

"Listen Sam, I'm sorry."

Sam's expression softened. "You don't need to be. It's not your fault you lost your memory. I'm sorry too. Losing your memory is bad enough, but to find out that you're an angel... Honestly, I don't know how you're keeping it together."

"I'm not. I don't know if I should feel scared, or sad, or angry. Everything I know is a lie, and I'm barely holding on," Cas sighed.

"You won't need to hold on for that much longer, Cas. We have Metatron and he's going to give us everything we need to make you an angel again." Sam smiled, hopeful.

Castiel returned the smile, but it was fake. He dreaded becoming an angel; he was afraid of who he would become and although it would keep him safe, was his life really worth saving if he was no longer who he was, no longer human? He changed the subject before he could break down.

"How did you get Metatron anyway?"

"Well we: Dean, me, and our hunter friend Jo, followed your directions to his hideout and it was surrounded by guards, hence the cuts and bruises," Sam said motioning to his wounds. "But when we got inside, we did these blood rituals where we put a kind of symbol on the wall in blood and it can destroy whatever being we're targeting, in this case, angels."

Cas gulped. Blood rituals? Could their jobs be any more terrifying?

"In the end, we got him!"

"What will you do with him?"

"Well this bunker that we live in has a kind of safe room and we'll keep him there for now while we get information out of him."

Cas shuddered. The thought of Metatron anywhere near Dean disgusted him.

"Cas, you have no need to worry. We have this all under control. Everything will be okay, I promise you."

Cas looked into Sam's eyes. He was so sincere, so sure. Although Castiel was terrified, he was sure of one thing: if he did get his memory back, he would be happy to remember Sam.

"Dean's really lucky to have you as a brother."

Sam smiled. "I'm the lucky one."

The door opened. Strange, Cas could have sworn he locked it.

Dean walked in. Cas was too happy to remember if he was right or not.

"I heard my name. All good things I hope," he grinned.

Cas walked over to him to give him a kiss. Unlike Sam, he had no wounds, except for one... Right over his heart, there was a big scar and it was bleeding. That was where his tattoo was.

Cas looked into Dean's eyes in confusion. They were black. Sam shouted something in the background, but Cas barely heard it as the blade went through his stomach.