Reality (On Hold - For A While)

Seven- Box of Matches

I had never felt as bad as I did those next months. I locked myself in my room for ages, not eating, not sleeping. I sat there, staring at the plain white wall like it was the most interesting thing in the world. It was the worst time of my life, and I still haven't forgiven myself for what I did. I am the reason an innocent, talented teenager was killed. Christian played tennis and he was beyond amazing. He was due to play for some college scouts two weeks after the fire, he was going to play in the Australian Open, and I'm the reason that never will happen. I could never pay for what I did, no matter how many times I was told it wasn't my fault. I've tried to forget about that night for the past two years of my life, but that will never happen now.

Underneath the note I found a stack of match packets, lined up perfectly. I picked up a packet and threw it against the wall, the contents spilling out and falling to the floor. Sasha had known about the type of person Mason was, yet she still could never come to terms that I didn't mean for anything to happen. She believed that I was jealous of her, that I wanted someone to be an only child with me so bad that I would go as far as to kill her brother. After that night, we never talked again. I had tried sending her numerous text messages that were left unanswered and tried calling her but had it ring through to voicemail each time.

When my father and I moved to Brooklyn I didn't try contacting her anymore. I decided that if she wasn't going to answer, there would be no point trying and having to deal with remembering my mistakes. I never mentioned Mason, Christian, Sasha, the fire, or even my mother cheating on my father to anyone in Brooklyn. I told everyone that my mother had passed away in a tragic car accident when I was younger, and that we moved because my father got a job promotion. No one asked any questions when I told them that, and if they did I just shrugged it off and changed the topic. Now Sasha is back, and there is no way I can get out of this one.

I took the box upstairs into my room, furiously shoving it under my bed. I retrieved back into the living room and tried to focus on watching the 5 o'clock news. My mind wasn't focussed, I kept drifting to the thoughts of what Sasha's next move was. A million thoughts were going through my mind when I felt my phone vibrating next to me. My eyes stayed fixed on the television as I grabbed my phone and answer it.

"Hello?" I said, still not completely paying attention to anything rather than my thoughts.

"Hey, are you at home?" Asked Zac's voice from the other end of the phone.

"Yeah, why?" I questioned, curious as to why he wanted to know.

"Katrina and I are coming over. We'll be there in five." He stated, not bothering to ask if it was okay with me.