Hospital for Souls

Chapter 17

When I wake up, I look next to me to see Snake wide awake and staring at me with dead eyes. I look away from him, but when I look back he's still staring at me. I feel the tears swelling up in my eyes, but I just wipe them away. Right when I do, Snake instantly grabs my hand. I stare at him and feel chills coming over me, but I'm too afraid to move. We both stare at each other for some time, then he lets go of my hand and I turn my body away from him. I then feel the bed shift as he turns himself away from me. Then, as low as his voice might be, I hear what he mumbles under his breath.

"So much for being happy." Instantly I turn my body around quickly and stare at him. 

"What did you say Snake?" I ask him in an angered voice.

"I didn't say anything of importance Raven." Instantly sadness and anger fill me for the fact that people always lie to me and I don't like it when people don't tell me things. It makes me feel trapped and just unwanted. 

"Fine then. I see how it is. Everything is always my fault." Right after I say those words Snake turns his body to face me but I get up and walk straight into the bathroom. I lock the door and go straight to the shower to find a disposable razor. I grab it right when I see it, and then sit down on the toilet seat and look at my arms. All the cuts and scars are visible. I trace over them carefully, feeling the ones that haven't healed. I then trace my fingers over the blade of the razor when there's a loud banging at the bathroom door.

"RAVEN!" Snake shouts at me. This is how everything goes; people get me mad or upset and when I lock myself away to cut because they hurt me then they try to be my hero. At least last time when Snake hurt me it was when he was with Brittany and Jake stopped me from killing myself. This time I blame Snake and I'm going to make at least one cut before he can stop me. 

"Fuck you Snake!" I shout at him. "Get away from me!" I take the razor and position it on my wrist when he bangs on the door again.

"Raven! I'm sorry Raven! I didn't mean to upset you!"

"Oh I think you did! I really feel like that was your intention! If it wasn't you wouldn't have said what you said! I thought you would be the guy to actually understand how things hurt me and how I react to things! I guess that just doesn't matter to you!"

"Raven! Please forgive me! I love you!"

"Yeah and I love blood pouring out of my wrist and dripping to the floor and that's what's about to happen!" After shouting those words at Snake through the door, I take the razor and slide it across my wrist.

Right when I lift it from my skin, Snake kicks the bathroom door open. Fear strikes into me quick, and I drop the razor to the floor. Snake stares at my wrist and I see the tears swelling in his eyes. I look down at my wrist and see the blood pouring in lines down my arm, and drops of it are landing on the floor. 

Instantly he runs towards me and grabs my wrist, the tears continuing to fall down his face. He slowly moves his face towards my wrist, and then places a kiss where the blood is falling out. Right when he does this, the tears fall from my eyes. As we're both crying, he goes into the closet in the bathroom and takes out a first aid kit. The first aid kit gives me memories, back when Snake was a total asshole to me and I almost killed myself. The memories of Jake running towards me with the first aid kit to stop the bleeding are still so fresh in my head. I feel as if it happened yesterday, yet at the same time I feel like it happened in some other life time. 

After he fixes up the cut on my wrist, he grabs my hand and helps me up. Confused, he leads me into the kitchen and tells me to sit down. I do as he says while he begins getting food out and preparing breakfast. We both don't speak to each other. After he finishes cooking, he takes a plate of food and places it right in front of me. He cooked bacon, eggs, and pancakes. Slowly, I begin eating the food while he eats his food with more aggression, anger. 

I can't even manage to make conversation with him, let alone actually look at him. If only he knew the truth about the Hospital for Souls, then he would understand why I'm reacting this way, but I can't tell him the truth. I have to ask Alyssa if I can, and I need to see Ralph again in order to do it. For now, I just have to hope that Snake won't leave me. Even though I need to stay depressed until I'm free of my contract, I still need Snake or death will be certain for me whether I make it through the Hospital for Souls or go out on my own terms. 

As we sit and eat breakfast in silence, I hear my phone go off in Snake's room due to the fact that the house is perfectly silent. I get up and walk over into his room to pick up my phone when I see it blowing up with text messages from Jake.

Instantly, my heart begins to sink deep into my chest. As I read them coming in, they all say the same thing, call me.

Without thinking, I open up all of the text messages and try to call Jake. It's difficult at first because he keeps blowing up my phone, but after about a minute I finally hear it ringing. It only takes two rings before Jake answers the phone. However, right when he does, the fear completely takes over.

"Raven!" Jake shouts into the phone. By the sound of his voice it sounds like he's really upset.

"Jake!" I shout back, fear filling my voice. "What's going on!?"

"I'm sorry Raven! I didn't mean to go so deep!" Instantly my blood becomes cold and I feel the life draining out of my face. I can't find the words to speak, and I've forgotten how to breathe. I feel the tears falling from my face, but I'm too paralyzed to wipe them. It's only when Jake talks again that I can function enough to breathe and talk.

"Raven! I need you to come over now!"

"I'm on my way Jake! Just please try to stop the bleeding! Please don't die! I need you Jake! You're the only real friend I feel that I have left..." I trail off and I begin choking on my own words. Jake is as suicidal as me except he has less fear of death. When he says that he went too deep, he means that there's a slim chance of him making it. I just hope that the slim chance of him making it actually goes through.

I keep Jake on the phone as I begin grabbing my shoes and putting them on. I put the phone on speaker and begin tying my shoes, shaking as I'm doing it which is making it go slower. I feel more tears coming down my face and hear Jake's heavy breathing on the phone. Then, he tries to say more.

"Raven, I love you-" Right after he says you, I hear a loud thump and everything on the other line goes completely quiet. Instantly I grab my phone and begin screaming loudly into it.

"JAKE! DON'T DIE! PLEASE GET BACK UP! PLEASE!" I keep shouting into the phone when I feel two arms around me and I instantly push them away and go into the corner of the room. I look to see that it's Snake, and his eyes are full of fear and sadness. Without even thinking, I grab my phone, push him out of the way, and begin walking towards the front door. Right when I open the door, I realize I don't have a car, so I can only walk. However, an idea hits me and I walk back into the kitchen, go over to the back wall by the back door, and grab Snake's car keys off their hook and storm straight out of the house. I get into Snake's car quickly and start pulling out of the driveway before I even buckle up. Right when I pull out of the driveway, I put my seatbelt on and I see Snake on the porch looking at me with tears on his face. All I can do now is close my eyes, take a deep breath, and drive hoping I won't die along with Jake. 

Luckily for me, it wasn't hard driving the car and I managed to get to Jake's house just in time. I storm straight into the house, no one's home. I begin walking around frantically until I see the light on in the bathroom. Right when I see the light on, I run to the bathroom and look at the floor to only see blood. Quickly as I breathe, I grow tired and the next thing I know is that I fall and slam my head into the floor, now entering the Hospital for Souls. 

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That is all for this chapter my patients! Please vote/comment and tell me what you think! Sorry for such long times before I update, writers block is coming and going! Alright, well keep on reading! That is all so until next time my patients, BYE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

P.S I have a vine that me and my friend are starting called White Girls in Action so you should check that out when we get videos up!