Five Steps Away

Chapter 21

Like third trigger warning in a row I know, but trigger warning for profiling and police brutality. 

Suddenly, it's like I reconnect with my body. And then just like that, it all hits me at once, like a sick harsh blow to my face. I stumble out to the parking lot, wrapping my arms around myself to keep me warm. But that doesn't help to ease my mind.

'Shhh calm down' I hear him say, covering my mouth, preventing me from speaking.

I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to think of something, anything else.

'Let me make you feel better.' His words resonate in my ear along with his breath on my neck. I stumble as I walk, trying to make my way to the parking lot, but I can't seem to do anything with these fucking tears.

"Alya!" I hear behind me. I stop walking, frozen in place. And when I hear footsteps behind me, I know he's here.

"Alya, you have to listen to me. I'm so sorry, I was drunk and she kissed me. I don't know why I kissed her back but I swear when I realised what was happening I pulled away and went to look for you, I promise. Please believe me Alya, I don't want to lose you." I hear him say. But I don't look at him, nor do I say anything. Instead, I feel myself breaking down. I cry and cry, almost falling to the ground if it weren't for Elijah picking me up. I flinch when he grabs onto my shoulders, not on purpose, but I do. And even as he leads me to his car, I can still see myself in the janitor's closet. I can feel my back twist in pain as it hits the wall. My sobs grow louder with each memory that enters my mind. I try to go numb again, to feel nothing, but that doesn't work anymore.

"Alya, what happened?" Elijah asks, sitting me down in the passenger seat of his car as he stands in front of me.

I shake my head furiously. Not wanting to say it out loud.

"Alya, talk to me. Please." when I look up, I see the pain in his eyes and I can't bear to look at them anymore.

"I'm fine." I try to say, my voice sounding small, trembling like it was in the closet. Tears escape my eyes as I feel myself go back to the closet. My shirt off, the air hitting my skin violently.

"Did Cire do that to you?" His eyes travel down to my wrists, now black and blue. I look at them, thinking back to how he held them down, hard as he kissed me. "Fuck, he did didn't he?" I look at Elijah, I'd never seen him so angry. He looks at me one more time, saying that he'll be right back and that I should stay in the car, before heading back into school.

I look at his retreating figure before looking down at my hands. They're shaking violently, I try to hold them down, but the fear in them remain, the black and blue fingerprints around them loud and visible.

My thoughts are momentarily interrupted when I hear noise in front of me, I look up only to see a big crowd of people near the entrance of the school, seemingly huddling around something. I get up, rushing to the school. When I'm close enough to see what people are looking at, I rub my eyes. This can't be happening. This has to be a dream.

I run to the crowd, pushing through people to see Elijah looking at Cire, fuming.

"What the hell did you do to her?" He asks, his voice a low growl.

I see Cire, and my breath hitches. "You wanna know what happened? She told me you were boring, so I fucked her from behind better than you ever will." When the words leave his lips, I bring my shaking hand to my mouth, shocked beyond belief at what I just heard. This wasn't happening, I tell myself. It isn't. It's just a dream.

Elijah lunges at Cire, and before I can witness anything else, I run back to the car, shaking and trembling. All I can tell myself, is that it isn't happening. That what I saw was just a dream. It wasn't real. I repeat the words in my head, hoping that the more I say it, the more I'll believe it. But that isn't the case.

I don't know how long I stay in the car before Elijah comes back. This time though, he has a fresh black eye on the same eye, and a bloody nose. When he sees me, he tries to smile.

"Hey..." He trails. I look at him as he gets into the car. "Are you... uhm... I'll take you home." He stutters.

He closes my door before entering the driver's seat. I look straight ahead as he drives. Thoughts swarming my brain.

"Are you ok?" He asks. "Wait, no that's a dumb question. I'm sorry" He says. I see him look for words to say as he drives, but before he can open his mouth once more, a police car behind us signals us to pull over. My heart beats faster and faster with each passing second. When the police officer gets to the car, he looks at Elijah, then at me. I look back at him. White skin, gun on belt. I hold my breath.

"Can I see both of your I.D.s." He says, looking at the both of us. Before I can look for mine, Elijah interjects.

"What the hell, we didn't even do anything!" The police officer looks irritated, jumpy. I hold my breath

"I.D. please." He says once again. I search my pockets with jittery hands, not finding it. And when I realise I left it in my bag in my locker, I freeze.

"I—I can't fi—find it." I stutter. I can already feel my body tremble.

"Why do we need to show you our I.D.s what is this?" Elijah says, his voice increasingly getting angrier.

"I can't find it. I must have left it a-" Before I can finish my sentence the police officer is already pulling open the car door.

"Please get out of the car." He says, before forcing Elijah out the car as well, his voice stern and demanding. I tremble, slowly making my way out on the drive walk.

He searches Elijah first, slamming him against the car face first until he's checked every inch of his body. And then he turns to me.

"What the fuck man leave her alone!" Elijah says, moving to my side.

"Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to be compliant." He says before lifting my arms up and searching me. I flinch with each second he touches me, and then his face morphs into Cire's face. I feel tears fall out of my eyes once more.

"Get the hell away from her!" Elijah says, trying to help. But he's only making it worse.

The officer ignores Elijah as he continues to search. My breathing quickens as he makes his way up to my waist near the hem of my shirt. Just like Cire did before he took my shirt off. And I catch a glint of the officer's eyes. In it, I see a pure need for power and control. Like he's fucking enjoying this.

"Please, I didn't do anything wrong." I whisper, pleading like in the janitor's closet, and just like there, my pleas go unheard.

"Leave us the fuck alone." Elijah says, his voice growing increasingly angrier, and when he's satisfied, the officer moves away from me and I close my eyes. I hear talking and movement but I don't dare look.

I don't know how much time goes by before Elijah calls my name. I open my eyes slowly, and I drop my hands back down to my sides realising that they were still up. I walk to the passenger seat. Tears are still falling down my eyes, but I don't make a sound, looking ahead as I close the door.

"Alya I—" Before he can continue, I interrupt him.

"Take me home." I finally say, keeping my gaze focused in front of me, focused on the blinking street lights. On and off. The flickering motion happening quickly. One second it's on, and then suddenly, it's off, leaving place for darkness.

A/N: Before to last chapter guys, we're almost there...