UNDER GOING SOME EDITING! DON'T MIND IT! IT WILL BE DONE SHORTLY
'You actually did it!' he said while watching her win the race - glee in his eyes. He ran up to her, with total pride. They hugged; enfulged by eachother's warmth. 'You actually did i...
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"𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐄 "𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐄! 𝐍𝐎! 𝐏𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐒𝐄 𝐃𝐎𝐍'𝐓 𝐋𝐄𝐓 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐁𝐄 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐄" Isabel fell down on her knees, blood scraping against the warm asphalt as she cried out a blood curdling scream. Cameras capturing the crash and her reaction, live. She lost her world that day. And that day will forever haunt her. Her feelings couldn't be described with words. Her older brother raced towards his broken sibling and hugged her tight. "Manita! Isabel listen to me! Everything will be alright"
Isabel woke up with sweat dripping off her forehead, the hotel bed was almost soaked in her sweat. The darkness was the only one to embrace her in her panicked state. The doe eyed girl was stunned, she was shaking like nothing before. She couldn't even wipe away her salty tears that were racing down her cheeks. She didn't sob, it was mere quiet waterfalls rushing down her stunning features. She was too numb, she had spilled too many desperate tears in her young life that she eventually numbed to the tears.
"Chérie" Escaped her mouth like a whimper, or more so like a prayer to her lost one. Isabel never handled her nightmares nor flashback herself. She wasn't a weak person, at least that was what her older brother said when she was a broken mess. Perhaps she was weak for not being able to face her heartache herself. Carlos was always there for her when Anthonie passed, and every obstacle she ever had to face. He never did much. But by just being there, someone for Isabel to hold onto made an immense difference. But after their disagreement yesterday, and Carlos' words that still stung, meant that she couldn't seek out a helping hand. Perhaps Isabel could finally find out if she could deal with her feelings herself.
She couldn't The temptation to relive her agony, stress, and sorrow boiled over. It possessed her like a demon, and now she was sitting on the marble floor watching her thick, warm blood dripping off her wrists. Her need to wound herself started once Anthonie passed away, and it only became worse. Until one day, she felt a tad better. She saw one small glimpse of hope. It was all it took to make her stop. To make her wake up from the horrible nightmare she was living. She was never suicidal, she wouldn't even think of the possibility. No she only wanted the world to stop spinning for just a moment, she wanted the clock to stop counting. She only wanted to catch up with her own feelings. But when she cut herself, she finally felt strong. She felt like she held the world in her hands. Of course no one knew about what she did to her arms in the chilly evenings. It was her little secret. If people knew what she did to herself she would lose her chance of getting a formula one seat. Her chances were already slim of getting a seat in a formula one car due to the fact of her being a woman.
Isabel sat on the cold marble stone the last couple of hours of the starry night, spectating her shallow cuts. She didn't cut herself deep, not wanting it to scar her forearms for a lifetime, the young brunette only wanted the pain to be temporary. She did not want to be reminded every time she saw her arms of what she did. Only when the morning sun shone through the quite large window in the luxurious bathroom did Isabel move herself. She stripped herself of her night gown and jumped into the shower, hoping to wash away her sins of yesterday.
When she had dressed for the reasonably warm day in Bahrain, she grabbed her bag with her essentials and made her way down to the lobby. Originally she was meant to meet Carlos, but because of their disagreement she figured he was already at the track, being the hard worker he is. The Sainz brother always channeled his frustration or sorrow into his work and made it something positive. Something Isabel could not do. To her utmost luck she saw Charles going for the exit of the hotel. "Ferrari's second best driver, over here!" Isabel couldn't really express the same happiness she did only yesterday but did her best to act fine. Charles turned around and started looking around, trying to catch the person who expressed themselves in such a disrespectful way. His eyes then met Isabel's happy figure. He furrowed his eyebrows at her behavior, only yesterday was she a crying mess, and now she was all fine. He walked toward the petite brunette and greeted her with a confused look. "Sorry, if the joke was harsh, i'm just used to Carlos and Lando" Isabel ranted when she met the young Monegasque confused features. Charles only raised an eyebrow and let out a short laugh. "No it was not that, I have too much confidence to be knocked down by your bad jokes. I'm just confused.You were very sad yesterday and now?" Isabel took a deep breath and smiled weakly. "Well, I'm fine now, people normally get over their emotions pretty quickly Leclerc" Charles could only nod at her short response. He offered her a ride to the track, which she gladly accepted. Although during the drive only the radio was heard, playing some weird local music. It wasn't necessarily awkward, it was more of a comfortable understanding and silence that engulfed them both.
As usual, multiple photographers were stationed at the parking lot, ready to catch a glimpse of the drivers. Isabel didn't really mind, since she often wasn't the centre of the spotlight most of the time. But walking with a Ferrari driver at her side, made her quite a lot more interesting than being a formula two driver, or Carlos's sister apparently. Her freshly cuts on her wrist made her pull down her sleeves and hold onto them dearly. She knew people were going to imagine things,and speculate why she was with Charles. The truth is, she didn't really know. She had met Charles on multiple occasions during her career but also thanks to Anthonie. But they never were alone, like now or the moment they shared in the paddock. It was honestly quite foreign for the young spaniard. They felt close even though they didn't really know each other that well. Her train of thoughts was distrubed by Charles saying goodbye with an awkward pat on her shoulder, which made Isabel let out a genuine laugh for the first time that morning. She made her way through the paddock, down to the Mclaren motorhome. Hoping to find Carlos before the last practice session. She wasn't a person to hold grudges, in fact none of the Sainz were. So when the doe eyed girl locked eyes with her dear older brother she jumped into his protective embrace. "I'm sorry for running off Carlito" she mumbled into his chest. "It's alright Manita, I should never have raised my voice because of such a small thing" Carlos said with a thick accent. The younger Sainz thought that this would make her feel better of what she did during the chilly night in her bathroom, but honestly she felt dirty and a lot worse.
