Pansy: A Chandlmara & Mcnamawyer Fanfiction (Heathers The Musical)

Chapter Five: The Weakest Must Go

It's been a rough few weeks. That goes without saying. Even though Westerburg knows this, they're going to throw a pep rally of all things. This means that I have to go to cheer practice in order to be ready for it.

I slowly slip on my mostly black cheer uniform with a big red "W" on the shirt and a red and black miniskirt. I haven't felt good in what feels like a while. I open my closet to get my pom-poms. Underneath them once I pick them up off the ground: the copy of Heather's suicide note. The pom-poms fall from my hands and I grab the note. The whole reason why it was here was that I didn't want to see it again, but in doing so I can't put it down again—it feels evil. I skim over it. "Maybe I can help the world by leaving; Maybe that's the me inside of me." That's the last thing written before she signed it. I've done some terrible things. I hurt Martha Dunnstock. I betrayed Veronica. I didn't feel anything when Kurt and Ram died. I'm... kind of the worst. Would I help the world by leaving?

I place the note on my bed. I need to get to practice. I've been taking the bus because there's no one left to give me a ride, but I missed it today, so I'm walking once again. It's a better walk this time because I'm wearing black and white sneakers and red socks instead of my heels. At a cross-walk, I watch the passing cars. A flashing thought of one barreling into me, splattering me to bloody bits creeps into my head.     Cheer practice, cheer practice, I remind myself. That matters.

I enter through the back gym doors instead of the school to be faster. When I get there, Rae, Kaitlin, and the other two male cheerleaders whose names I forget were already in the gym, Chrissy on the bleachers. In fact, they were all on the bleachers. "Guys, get up, we're supposed to be practicing," I alert, pulling my backpack off and dropping it on the seats.

Chrissy shook her head. "No, not yet, it's after school today. Ms. Flem is organizing this live, televised special assembly with the news. Over the copycat suicides and getting better and shit."

"Oh!" I say with a smile. The assembly doesn't sound like a bad idea. A chance to hear what others are going through and to feel I'm not alone. That might be helpful. Suicide clusters are what I'd personally call what's been going on, but whatever.

I hear Ms. Fleming exclaim from the open gym entrance: "Veronica, there you are, I need you in place for the assembly!"

My heart skips. Should I talk to her? I'd kill to talk to her. No, she probably doesn't want to after the Kurt and Ram situation. I don't blame her. Who would wanna be around me after that? Jesus, throw me in a wood chipper!

The rest of the student body enters, along with a camera crew. I notice Martha's not here. She's not at school at all today. She's been rather aloof since Ram's party. To my knowledge, Veronica hasn't even spoken to her. Every time I see her she's with JD. What is the big whoop with him anyway? But I must have really cut Martha worse than I know. I must be worse than I know.

Heather Duke, still in red, relaxed next to me on the bleachers as Ms. Fleming yells at the camera crew, "Pedal to the metal, come on now!"

I grin at Heather and try to spark a friendly conversation. Just once maybe we can get along. "I'm kind of looking forward to this!"

Her lips curled and her brows furrowed. "Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?"

I quietly shoot away from her. Of course not. She's impossible. "Sorry, Heather..."

I discreetly grimace at her, watching her walk away to be near someone else. I'm sorry, but sometimes I want to watch her head get chopped off, like Anne Boleyn except she's deserving of it.

A podium, facing away from the bleachers and in front of the cameras, is put in place. Ms. Fleming hands us a big red card with the school logo on it with sheet music. "Did... we learn a song?" I ask Kaitlin next to me.