Bittersweet Mate bond

Mate bond

"Alexander" he said. His voice was so husky that it gave a chill to my body.
So his wolf name is Alexander. His wolf doesn't want me to address him as alpha.
"Alexander" I whispered his name. His eyes lights up and the next second, his lips captured mine in a agressive kiss. I was surprised for a second. It was my first time kissing someone and it felt so right.
My whole body was buzzing with a sudden warmth. I can't help kissing him back. Once the kiss break.. he started kissing my jaw and neck. It was the most blissful feeling.
Suddenly his fangs went into my neck tearing the skin. All the pleasure was replaced with pain. I screamed from the sudden pain. Then the reality of the situation got to me. He is marking me. He didn't asked for my permission. He will not ask for it. He is just a power hungry man. He doesn't love me.
I pushed him with all my strength. I won't give myself to someone like him. Never I thought.
His black eyes was a shade darker. Suddenly he grabbed my neck and forced me out of the ground. I was clawing his hands but I'm no soldier. I am weak and he can easily overpower me.
"Mate" he said with clenched teeth and throw me on the bed. In a Instant he was above me. I started getting unconscious with all the strength that he exerted and the mark he put.

He looked at me with anger. He will not show mercy for my disobedience. But I didn't care for anything at this point. All my energy was gone and it was hard for me to even open my eyes.

Suddenly he torn my tunic, I was there laying just in my bra. He started kissing my neck and jaw.
I was so weak that I cannot even push him. I just layed there letting him do whatever he wants to do. Tears started forming in my eyes. I thought back to all the time I prayed to moon goodness for a mate. I thought back to all the dreams i had of my mate loving me. And here he was forcing me. There was no love in his touch, no compassion and no warmth. I was just a object for him to conquer more power.
"Don't do this please, I don't want it." I said pleading.
I felt the most humiliated and helpless. I started sobbing on my fate.
He looked up at me... His eyes black. He looked concerned. He touched my tears with his finger as if he was examining it.
Suddenly he got up from me and fall on floor. I looked at the floor and there he was standing in his wolf form. His wolf looked at me and ran out of the room and then I heard the front door banging.

I curled into the bed and sleep came over me because of the exhaustion.

The next day i woke up to a soreness in my throat. I ran to the dressing table and take a look at my neck.
There was a moon mark on my neck. He marked me yesterday forcefully, I thought feeling sad. But the moon mark was half. Generally when a she wolf is marked then she bears a full moon mark.
"Why is it half" I whispered. I also didn't felt complete like our teacher thought us in school about mate bond. I guess it is because I'm not fully mated with my mate I guessed.
After that I got ready and went to the pack house. My mother was in the kitchen cooking food for the pack with the help of fellow she wolf. As I went in the kitchen she came to hug me. My eyes welled up with tears. My thoughts drifted back to last night when he grabbed my neck with so much strength. I thought he will kill me.
I was wearing a floral dress and a scarf around my neck. I thought she will not see it but she saw it and her eyes looked straight into mine. That look of pity, I hated it. But then she smiled at me saying "everything will be alright my dear."
I smiled back and said "let's hope so."
Just then the six year old alpha daughter came running to my mother.
"Olivia, how are you feeling" I asked.
"Selena, hello I am fine but I really miss mom and dad. When are they coming here" She asked. I don't know what to reply to that. How do you tell a 6 year old that her parents are never coming back. I looked at my mother and she was on the verge of crying.

I went down on my knees and took her hand in my hand. "Dear your parents are far away but they will always stay in your heart." Then I placed her hand on her heart. She looked surprised at first but then she started crying. I guess she started realising the truth.
I hugged her and tried to comfort her.
She was sobbing loudly and that attracted a lot of attention from all the wolf around. Some were looking at her with hatred. They killed her father and they want to kill his entire blood line. I looked at my mother and hinted her to get her out of here. She understood and took Olivia to her room.
I sat down on the breakfast table but I was no longer hungry.
I went back to alpha home. Yes I don't recognise it as my home yet. I don't think I will ever.
I explored the house a bit and found a library. I went there and stayed there till evening. Many times through out the day, my thoughts went to last night. How can he do that to his own mate. Doesn't he feel the bond. My wolf were thinking about these things.
My Wolf's name is clara. We understand each other and she respect my decision and I love her.
"What should we do clara" I asked her into my mind.
"I don't know Selena, I want him and I already love him because of this mate bond but something is wrong. I feel like, I am still missing a part like there is something more I want."
"Maybe it's because he doesn't love us"
She Whimpered after hearing this.
"I am sorry" I said.
"No no it's the truth, she said but her voice was thick like she was about to cry. "He killed our alpha and he is so cruel but I still love him " She started crying.
"But there is more to the story Selena, I feel like we should try to know him a little bit more".
"OK I will try to do that" I said.

I will do anything for the sake of my wolf.
Then I went out to have dinner. There was no one in the house. Simon hasn't come home yet. I had my dinner and then I went to sleep.