Life Thoughts' Pot

Where we stand

    The world is full of emotions and feelings, it's not new, everyone knows this, we also believe that feelings have no limits and that they're always true and we should always listen to our heart, so let me tell you about the story of a young boy and I'll let your emotions judge it :

     He, named Alexander, is 18 years old, a plain person on the outside but a charming human on the inside, ready to help everyone around, trying his best to keep contact with everyone and fulfill promises he makes, he, who rarely judge people and sympathizes with everyone.

     He has a best friend, like everyone his age, he relates on that friend in every possible way, they're compatible and accept their differences no matter how weird they seem to each other, and through the years, he learnt to appreciate every single moment with that friend, he learnt how to be addicted to the presence of his friend, he learnt how to be happy just by a morning text, just by a simple smile, and so on, until he arrived to defining a new emotion : LOVE.

      "What can stand between you and the person you love ? what can keep you away from them? what can make your emotions bottled ? how far can you expand that love ?" 

     That's what Alexander asked himself, the first time he considered any possible feeling toward his friend, as he thought to himself : i can't be with my best friend, it's just out of any logic, but being this way is better than nothing, being best friend is better than having nothing.

     Before creating an escape and just falling into depression, Alexander passed three different emotional stages :

     1- Denial : it doesn't seem right at the beginning, the sun always rises from east, nothing can change that for now, it's the same about Alexander's perspective of love, no matter how you look at the world, with the most open mind you can have, there's always a limit where you need to stand.

     Whether it's society judgement, religion or personal moral values, there's always something keeping us away from the real truth and with this comes a second stage, which is commonly developed by our brain.

      2-The imaginary world: at this stage, Alexander started creating excuses to stop facing reality, he created an abstract excuse which combines between his values and desires : being friends is better than nothing. for slight moments, he feels satisfied, accepting what he has and just appreciating it, he freezes that moment in his own brain and just stops considering better possibilities, he felt happy, or at least that's what he believed.

     But actions often betrayals what the human wants to do, he starts being possessive and hates sharing his best friend with other people, he wants to spend time alone with his bestie, as he tried to Hyde these emotions, he arrived to a breakout point, where neither lies, nor imagination could help him get through the situation, get through his emotions and just stop his love for his best friend.

       With it comes a question :  what to do when nothing works? how to keep going when something is bothering you ?. that's when the final stage shows up :

      3- Depression: " i fell into the abyss" ,he says "as i tried suppressing incoherent feelings, i ended up suppressing my own self, my own mind, my own soul", he, who used to have a kind heart, a strong self, he, Alexander, who wears the name of a great king, feels weak. all the memories together turned to a nightmare, all hopes vanished away as the truth emerges between the mixture of feelings in his heart : love, jealousy, hope, anger, curiosity, boredom, shame, affection, envy, desire... it consumes every part of a lost heart , because what is forbidden can never be good.

       He stands at that point, a point of no return, where everything seems like a black hole, he screams for help, he begs for mercy, he wants a new start, he wants to wake up and find out that it was just a dream, but deep inside, he knows no one will help except that one friend, that best friend which is the ultimate cause of the chaos in his mind.

        "What brought me to this?", he asks himself, crying silently behind the bathroom door, why is his world limited to only one way? why does his desire outdo the limit of his values?.

         As he begs himself one last time to resist, he breaks free of that depression, lying behind that bathroom door, reading a book, smelling the page 187 where some perfume of his best friend is dropped, he understands that no matter how hard he tries, some things are just impossible to have , no matter how great he is, he's not the one for his best friend.

          New decisions are made, new goals are set, new hopes are built, Alexander will decide to help everyone who has a problem, and so it will begin with his own best friend who has, at an inch close, almost the same problem, he will help his friend through good and bad days, he'll help other friends too, through everything, he'll help some family members.

       But at the end, who sees Alexander everyday at midnight ? who sees him cherishing that one page of his book, third shelf, fifth book from the right, page 187 ? who knows that he - the king's name boy- has a problem too?.

      No one, Nobody, all people are busy minding their own business, they are all fooled by that angelic smile upon his face, never bothering to ask him if he is fine because he looks happy, but that is just a look.

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A/N : Hello everyone, i hope you like this chapter, i wrote this out of the blue, i heard some bad news and i decided to put it out this way, so tell me your opinion about it. 

have a nice day . and enjoy your time in wattpad :) 

if you read French books then you should read The Way I love Them by CynthiaThor , her books are amazing, i really love her books and i think everyone should read them, she's just amazing