talking to the moon || tsukiyama

chap. 5

- Remember when we were younger and we used to ask the moon questions? - Yamaguchi asked, right after getting those memories of the old days.
- Yeah, we always asked who had a crush on who from our class or some type of silly question. - Tsukishima replied, chuckling.
- I still do it sometimes, talk to the moon.
- that must be some type of therapy, right?
- kinda...
The blonde closed the eyeliner and looked one last time at his friend's face. He gave him a mirror so he could see all the constellations he found on his freckles.
Yamaguchi giggled, seeing his face covered with scratches.
- I'm thirsty, I'll go get water. - Tsukishima said before being stopped by Yamaguchi.
- No, you need to rest, stay here and I'll get water for both of us. - he said getting up from the bed and walking downstairs to get two water bottles for both of them.
On his way to the kitchen, he met Mrs Tsukishima. She looked like she had been crying. He quickly ran over to her to ask what was wrong.
- Mrs Tsukishima?? Is everything okay? - he asked with a worried expression.
- I'm fine, it's just everything that's happening now, it's difficult to handle alone since my husband is always out for work. - She replied, wiping her tears.
Yamaguchi couldn't do anything, he was helpless. All he could do was be there for her.
- I know Mrs Tsukishima, i know it's hard, but i believe that Kei is going to be fine, we just got to pray and be strong. We need to help each other in this difficult time okay? I need to go now, i said i would get tsukki water. - he said, a little bit scared that he couldn't help.
He got the bottles again and ran upstairs.
- What took you so long? - Tsukishima asked as yamaguchi handed him one of the bottles.
- I... couldn't find them at first. - Yamaguchi replied. He thought Mrs Tsukishima didn't want tsukishima to know or see her like that. He wouldn't like it himself.
- ...okay? - he said, trying to open his bottle.
Yamaguchi opened his bottle with ease, no struggles. He took a sip of water and looked at Tsukishima, who was still trying to open his.
Tsukishima was visibly weak. The tumor made him look terribly beaten. Like he just got out of a fist fight, but there was no blood. He was pale but his eyes had big purple circles around them, some places of his body had stains from all the treatments and tubes. He still had hair, but it kept on falling more and more. He had to mentalize himself that he had to either shave it, or watch it fall.
Yamaguchi took the bottle from Tsukishima and opened it, giving it to him after.
- ... thanks... - Tsukishima was sad about the fact that he was so weak he couldn't open a water bottle. He passed his hand through his hair and looked at it. Full of hair.
He didn't had hopes at all, even tho he didn't want to die. After all, it's a tumor, a cancerous tumor, inside his lung. He had a very little percentage of surviving. The doctor talked to him and said they would give him in 3 years maximum, if he didn't die sooner. His tumor was really big, it had been developing for a long time and just decided to show signs now. Even tho the tumor was big, doctors didn't want to proceed with surgery so soon, they would blood test him for 3-4 months to check how it's doing. Surgery will depend on how quick it's growing.
The problem with surgery is the fact that it's really difficult to perform it. It has a really high risk of killing the patient, one little move and he's out.
Tsukishima already though of shaving his head just not to slowly watch it fall.
- Is it a bad idea to shave my head? - Tsukishima asked, still looking at his hand.
- It'll fall anyway... - Yamaguchi said after a pause, looking down at his knees.
- it hurts to watch it fall. - Tsukishima said looking at his friend with a sad face.
- if you think it's the right decision, do it, i can help you out. - yamaguchi said, smiling at Tsukishima.
Tsukishima smiled too, Yamaguchi's smile was contagious. He nodded his head and went to the bathroom, followed by freckle boy.
- wait... NOW??? IT'S LIKE 1 AM TSUKKI! - yamaguchi said following the taller one.
- it's fine, i wanna do it now. - Tsukishima said, arrived at the bathroom.
He grabbed a shaving machine and turned it on. He looked at it and took a deep breath.
- Can you do it for me? - Tsukishima said as tears formed in his eyes. It wasn't easy to shave his head, it's not easy to anyone.
- Of course I can, but are you sure you want to do this? - yamaguchi said, grabbing the machine from Tsukishima's hand.
- yes. - Tsukishima said wiping his eyes.
Yamaguchi nodded. He felt so bad. Shaving his favorite person's head because he doesn't want to see his hair falling from treatment.
He started shaving his head, the other's eyes were shut. He didn't want to see it. Then yamaguchi had an idea. Was he probably going to regret doing it? yes. Did he take a minute to think of it? no. But did he really do it? yes.
Yamaguchi finished shaving Tsukishima's head.
- Open your eyes, Tsukki. - he said.
The other opened his eyes.
Yamaguchi took a deep breath, and what did he do? he started shaving his own head.
Tsukishima's eyes watered instantly, as well as Yamaguchi's. He didn't stop tho. He didn't stop tho. He trembled as he did it, but he was doing it because he didn't want Tsukishima to feel alone.
When he was done, Tsukishima got up, and hugged him as tight as he could, even tho he didn't have much strength, crying onto his shoulder. Yamaguchi hugged him back, he couldn't hold his tears.
Tsukishima sobbed, really harshly. He didn't feel alone, he felt like he had someone with him, fighting with him, doing everything it takes for him to feel like he's not sick, and the best out of it was that that person was yamaguchi.
Yamaguchi wasn't sobbing aggressively like tsukishima, it was like he was silently crying. He knew he made the right choice, he only wanted Tsukishima to feel "normal".
Yamaguchi broke the hug to get a broom and clean the floor, while tsukishima was in his room, preparing himself to sleep as he waited for yamaguchi.
Yamaguchi finished all the cleaning and went to Tsukishima's room. He sat next to Tsukishima, who was already laying on his bed.
- are you going to sleep on that? - Tsukishima asked, still sniffling from crying.
- where would I sleep then? - yamaguchi asked.
Tsukishima lightly blushed and thought to himself if yamaguchi was really that dumb to not understand what he meant.
- Just sleep here instead... - Tsukishima said, lifting the blankets.
Yamaguchi blushed intensively but mumbled a quiet "okay" and layed next to the blonde one.
Tsukishima took off his glasses and placed them on his bedside table, turned off the only light left on and hugged yamaguchi again. That sudden movement startled the other one, but he quickly responded, hugging him back.
- Good night, Tsukki.
- Good night, yamaguchi.
They both wished goodnight to each other, and fell asleep.

______________________________________

IM SO SORRY FOR THIS FORGIVE ME