Into the light..|Eremin

Chapter 27 | imprisonment

Trigger Warning: Self Harm, mentions of suicide ⚠️

Armin POV:

I was in the hospital for quite a while, but finally I could leave. Finally, this hospital was like prison. It felt like that. I was so anxious to get home. Eren wanted me to come over but I had to decline his offer. Sadly, I told him that I'd be careful. I guess it was a lie. But at least he won't worry to much. I was able to leave now. I also got some anti depression medication.
The bottle told me all the side affects.

Restlessness
Drowsiness
Insomnia
Dry mouth
Blurred vision

There is a danger that, in some people, antidepressant treatment will cause an increase, rather than a decrease, in depression. In fact, the FDA requires that all depression medications in the U.S. include a warning label about the increased risk of suicide in children and young adults.

So I'm guessing my thoughts should get even worse if I don't take this medication. I sighed. As Eren took me home he said "Armin I really don't trust you with these.. so I'm going to take them but when I see you I'll give you them okay?" I nodded and he gave me a pill I only needed one a day. I took it and waved him a goodbye as I entered my horrid home. My mother was passed out and no sign of my father. Welp.. I walked over to get some water and swapped it along with the pill. Immediately I felt some of those side effects. I felt so tired but so.. energetic? I felt so weird as well as if I could smile smile and smile? My thoughts forced me to be... happy? My mind kept debating whether I should die or not. Honestly it was overwhelming. I walked upstairs to my room to go sleep since I felt very... overly exhausted and nauseous. I set my alarm and went to bed I had to go to school tomorrow.

Beep
Beep
Beep

There's that stupid alarm! I slammed my head against my phone and turned it off. My sleepiness left me as I felt the urge to.. hurt myself.. honestly I was craving it. I wanted it. I wanted it more than anything. I was craving this harm I was craving it. I needed to feel some sort of pain. I sat up in my bed and stood up. I walked to my closet and grabbed some clothes. I didn't feel like cooking anything for my parents plus my mother was passed out luckily. And that man was no where to be seen. My father wasn't home either. I looked in the kitchen for anything I could use. My mind was debating suicide or self harm. I needed it now. I looked for anything and saw a kitchen knife. I smiled and rolled up a sleeve. But then my eyes turned to the time and I was about to be late so I slipped the knife into my bag. Perfect now I'll be an official murderer. I walked outside and took the path to school. I had no intention to hurt anyone besides myself. The second I got into school Eren was waiting by my locker reading the pills. I rolled my eyes he's too protective. I walked to the bathroom. He didn't see me luckily. Nobody was in their anyways. I sat by the sink and rolled my sleeve up. I started cutting uncontrollably. I just.. I couldn't stop. I couldn't stop. I wanted it I did I did I did! I had to. Until I realized how much I cut their was a small pool of blood on the floor and I felt light headed. No. No. No. No. No. No! I can't pass out yet! I need more Eren can't see me he can't he can't. I heard muffled foot steps. I felt my eyes closing but ignored it and continued as I rolled down my sleeve and hid the knife back in my bag. I didn't think to clean it and my sleeve was.. white it bled through my shirt. I gasped at the sight and ran to a stall to hide.

Eren POV:

I can't find Armin? He will be here soon I guess. I walked down to the bathroom to go splash my face with some water since my eyes felt blurry. My eyes widened at the sight of blood. I looked around for anyone maybe someone got hurt. The blood was dripping through a stall? I saw Armins shoes and bloody foot prints that led to it. I knocked on the stall. "Armin! Armin! Open the stall!" I said. I heard him sigh and he opened it. I rushed toward him and yanked his arm to the nurses office. I read over the pills again. This is increasing his thoughts. I dragged Armin to the nurse as she said "Hello do you need any-" she stopped and started again "Oh my your arm! Here" she grabbed Armin by his hand and sat him down as she lifted up the sleeve to a horrid sight. She poured some rubbing alcohol on it to help and make sure there would be no infections. She wrapped a roll of bandages and started wrapping them around his arm. He didn't even notice she put rubbing alcohol on him. She's defiant done with that medication. "Armin I'm throwing these away.." he stood up yanked them and said "No way I need these they they!!! I need it I need them!" I then grabbed them from his grasp and threw them in a trash can in the nurses office. Armin was still exhausted from the blood loss. I took him to my house and said "Hand me the blades knife whatever your using give it!" I said sternly. He shook his head and said "I um.. I left it at school.." I knew if he was lying obviously. "Hand me it now." I said irritated clearly. He was a little scared but I was only trying to scare him. He then shook his head once again. I took his school bag and saw one perfect. I took it and said "This is it isn't it.. and there's more so come on I'm going to find them, if you don't tell me I'll do it myself." He flinched as he saw me pull it out of his bag in shock that I've figured him out. But this can't go on any longer.. stupid medication, I hate these doctors.