I hate/Love you.

chp 37-How to Explain?

(Important author's Note at end of chapter.)

Niya, how to tell you, but now you have more responsibility to take care."

"What do you mean?" I looked at them confused.

"Niya, I'm going to be father. You are pregnant."

"What?!"

What does it mean I was going to a mother! Ok, I always wanted to be a mother. But this time is really not the right time.

There are so many things that I have to complete and with a baby in my womb, I can't do that.

And most importantly I wanted to enjoy my motherhood, want to experience each and every day of the nine months. Want to click picture each month of my baby bump, want to be with Arav and share what our baby did in whole day. I want to experience his first kick, and while getting regular check-up I want to see a little fetus growing month by month.

Want to go shopping gathering little clothes, toys and all pampering things.

But, now what could I do. This is really an golden opportunity. My life's first case that I was going to fight independently. The case that that may require my five months. How am I going to handle both.

"Arav, I wanted to tell you something, when I came to airport I wanted to give you suprise and..."

"Well you surely gave me most amazing suprise of my life."

"No, Arav, I wasn't talking about me being pregnant. I was even not knowing that I was pregnant until you told me." I informed with a little worry.

"What are you worried about?" He asked coming and sitting beside me. Rashmi and Jay were still standing with cake in hand lost in their own world.

"Arav, " I took his hand in mine and with a determined look and said, "Aru, I was about to tell you that I got my first independent case. That I wouldn't have to be an assistant for Mr. Verma in this case."

I waited for his reaction but he gave me none. He just stared at me so I continued, "I know that  I could take case with our baby still growing inside me. But I want to enjoy my motherhood, and with burden of case and all things. And now..." I looked at Jay who was now eating cake without any worry. "I also want to legally adopt Jay. I just wanna say..."

"You want abortion? That you don't want this child?" He said it so simply that I couldn't even know how to react.

"What?! No, of course not. How could you even think of that. It's our baby, our first baby how could I kill him. I didn't even got the thought of it! How could you even think about it!" I yelled angrily making rashmi and Jay look at us suddenly.

"The way you said all the things can make anyone think like that."

"Aru.." before I could say anything he was out of the door. Rashmi and Jay looked shocked while I just sat there looking at nothingness.

*****
It has been three hours since Arav have left, and I'm still sitting at same place. It's 8'O clock in evening, I heard the door open ajar revealing Arav. He looked different.

He saw me and came near bed and sat down.

"Sorry." He wisphered low. "I know I shouldn't have.."

"Don't be. If I were you, may be I would have reacted more dramatically."

"You know I will always be there with you, right?" He asked looking in my eyes and I nodded "I have taken leave from my work for as long as possible.  It may be possible I wouldn't be there in most critical time in our special time, but I promise you whenever you will need me I will be your side."