I hate/Love you.

chp 11 ' When Reality Strike'

The most important thing that you shouldn't do when you are in a situation is, never turn your back towards it.

Face your fear, face your problem and get through it.

Right?

Yes!

But in this situation, what I did was.... I ran!

Yes, I ran from the room, ran from the situation, ran from my 'supposed husband' , ran from the camera man, ran from the curious eyes, ran from the calling voices.

I ran till I was out of the damn building.

I ran untill I was at an isolation. Away from the world full of fake people.

"Niya..." A voice called me. It was soft wisper, telling me he meant no harm, but it was surly not helping. The voice was sad, course he should be.

"Don't, please.. don't. I have.... enough today." I tried hard to complete the sentence. My throat was dry.

I felt the hand on my shoulder and I flinched. I turned around to come face to face with Arav.

My eyes were showing my emotions, my feelings, my questions.

"Niya, let me explain, listen-"

"Explain what, Arav?" My eyes may be blurry due to tears, but my voice showed the anger and betrayal I was feeling.

"You know what, Arav," I poked his chest and said "it really hurts. You played with me. My feelings, my emotions, hell you even played with some thing as holy as marriage. Do you really think marriage is game. It's a tie of knot between two soul, two families."

"You know why I did it, Niya." He said with Stern look.

"You think by marring me you fullfilled last wish of, dadu?" I asked still trying to hold the flood in my eyes.

"Of course. What do you think? You have mangalsutra in your neck. I introduced you as my wife, Mrs. Khanna. Isn't that what he wanted?" His voice showed confidence.

"No, Arav, we live in a society where Marriage is just not mangalsutra and seven round around the holy fire. Marriage define the trust, unity of family and responsibility towards each other. And most importantly ... love"

"What dadu wished, was for you to choose someone you trust, someone you want to spend your rest of the life, someone you can rely upon when you break, someone you... love." I explained him.

"Firstly, I chose you as that someone. And secondly there is no Love. There no such thing alive in the world. OK. Love don't exist! It's just virtual. You can only find love in book and movies. Marriage are not always based on love, Niya. You believe in it, great, but I don't. For me It's just a deal. Deal between two person who are in illusion that they love each other. But believe me Nitya when I say this love is nothing but an illusion, that your heart create. Nothing more nothing less. Understand." He said with cold eyes. His sad tone long gone,now he was back to the Arav I first met. The Arav I hate.

His eyes held so much anger and coldness that it bought shiver down my spine.

I took a step forward and wiped the tears that have flowed down my cheeks. I placed my hand on his cheek and said, "Love exist Arav, it exist. The day you will find your love, the someone with whom you wanna be till your last breath. That day, you will regret what you did. I know you did it for dadu, and I respect that. But," I removed my hand from him and moved back. "You didn't have any right to do what you did with me."

"For me, this marriage, this mangalsutra and rituals plays an important role. It's not something you do impromptu. They are life decisions, Arav. And when the decision involve the life of person other than you, you have no right to take it on your own." I accused him.

"I don't want your lecture ok. If you don't what you can take that thing out from your neck. I care less about anything. I never regret anything I do." He said turning his back towards me.

It was like the cold water splashed over me. His words wounded me deeply.

"You know what, I was right. I was totally right about you. You really are a heartless jerk. I Hate YOU. You are not the Arav I once knew. No you aren't my best friend. He was not like this. You have changed, or probably you are not my Aru , you are someone who don't even know the meaning of feeling."

All the frustration and helpless feeling I had grown came out . All I ever wanted in my life was something like what I see between my Mom and Dad. I always wanted to find my love. One who can see me like no one other. The real me. One who will love me with everything he had.

"Niya, love brings pain. I am not telling that I will breach this marriage. But if you want you can. I Never wanted to get married in first place. But if I have committed to this, I ensure you to be faithful in this. Trust me on this. And as long as for love, don't expect that thing to be in my forte." He replied in clam voice. How can he be so relaxed?

Is he bipolar or something?

"Just take me home." My voice was tired. All I want was to go back home. To embraced by Mom and Dad, to tease kartik and Nitin, to have a piggy back ride on Ryan shoulder and sleep like there is no tommorow.

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Emotional chapter!
Yeah!
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