All because of him (Wilbur soot x reader)

Chapter 10: The end.

TW

I want to end it. I want to so so bad but do I really know what I want? Because even though I'm being suffocated in this deep, constant pain, I know I'd miss some things.

My friends, music, the rain.... Wilbur.

But is all that really worth it?

I've spent all this time convincing myself he ruined it. That he didn't try hard enough. I told myself he was the one that made all the mistakes.

But what if it was me?

What if I was the one that drove us apart? I was too worried about not being able to fall in love that I didn't realize I already had.

I fell in love with him and in the process I fucked it all up.

You can call me weak or selfish but I can't deal with this pain any longer. George isn't home, I haven't seen Wilbur in days, it'll be too late when they find me...

Tears running down my face I walked into my bathroom and started looking through the cabinets.

Painkillers. People say taking too many is bad for you, so when people ask me why I took so many, why I let the little pills roll down my throat and into my body, why I counted them out and took each pill individually I'll just say 'they're painkillers'

When my body went limb and my legs grew heavy, my arms fell to my side and my fingers uncurled. When the bottle slipped out of my hand and the horrible pills spilt all over the bathroom floor rolling across the tile.

Tears rolled down my cheeks. If people ask me how many I took I could never give an exact answer since I lost count of how many but that doesn't really matter because I always say they're pain killers, they're supposed to kill pain, right?

I quickly scribbled up a note as my legs gave out and I fell to the floor with a thud.

-note-

Dear Wilbur.

I'm so so sorry,

It's silly that I told the stars about us, I told them how we're much alike with the stars themselves. We collided and shone brighter than the others.

It's stupid that I thought our love would last forever like the stars, but maybe we were alike the stars after all, because even if we separated from the collision, we will always be shinning bright somewhere.

Miles upon miles apart in a different world.

Our love was something that could be written in the books. The first time I laid eyes on you, I saw sparks and as I found myself falling deeper in love with you, the sparks turned into flames until our flames grew too large and our book burned out taking our love down with it.

I don't remember the day or time I fell in love with you like most people do, but I did remember my eyes locking with yours and I felt like I was home.

I remember the way your touch sent chills throughout my body when our fingers intertwined. I remember it as the moment I realized how much it would hurt to loose you.

See you on the other side my love.

-y/n

-end of note-

"All because of him" I said under my breath as my eyes fluttered shut and my heart beat it's last few times as I fell into my last never ending sleep.

We fell in love, but like all good love stories it just wasn't that simple. I realized too late. It's all because of him I learned to love again.