Dishing The Dirt: Tommy Lee • Mötley Crüe •

Chapter 33

Tommy's POV:
I hadn't seen or spoke to Vanessa in weeks. She never came to get her things because she told Mick some bullshit about how she "wasn't ready" yet. I kept calling Vince's phone to try talk to her but it was always Vince or Sharise that answered and they were super quick putting the phone down. She was giving me the silent treatment and I fucking hated it.

I actually tried to be a fucking grown up about the whole thing, you know... putting my feelings aside to try and be a good dad, but she was the one being immature. She wouldn't even talk to me about the baby, I always had to find out from pops or the guys... do you know how freakin' embarrassing that is!?

Even though she was driving me fucking insane, I was still crazy as fuck about her and it was still my mission to get her back. I figured if Vanessa was even gonna give me the time of day again, I'd have to clean myself up a little. So, I stopped drinking excessively after the shows and I stopped taking drugs. As hard as it was, the guys understood why I was doing it and they actually had the decency to not do it around me anymore. I guess it wasn't too hard for them though, I'd become a total loner...

I finally got the keys to the house and I'd thrown myself into redecorating the place to look like the family home Vanessa always wanted. I'd taken a lot of pride in trying to make it homely and I had Vanessa's voice going through my head the entire time telling me to put this over there and to paint the wall a lighter shade. The house was really starting to look awesome, dude! But, the one room I really poured my heart and soul into, wasn't my studio down in the basement, but our babies room.

As much as I wanted a lil boy to smash fuck out of the drums and ride dirt bikes with, I just had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that it was going to be a girl, especially with how convinced Vanessa was. We actually argued a couple of times over it. She thought that I thought she was completely crazy, and I guess part of me kinda did... I mean... she woke up from a coma talking about our baby being a little girl called Sophia!? It was nuts but, I just went with it and I guess if Vanessa saw what I'd done and knew I believed and hung onto every word she said, it'd get me back in her good books, right?

I painted the room a light shade of pink. I varnished the floor so it was all dark wood and I put down a huge, white fur rug. I got one of those cool rocking chairs and a foot rest to put in the corner and I got Nikki to help me put up some shelves that I'd decorated with some books and a Tweety bird teddy. I added a wardrobe, one of those baby changing units, a mobile and photos of me and Vanessa. As much as the thought of it kills me, if we never got back together, I'd still want our kid to grow up seeing all the good times we had before I fucked it all up.

I was waiting for my dad to bring over the crib my mom had held captive since me and Athena were babies. We were gonna give it a little TLC and put it underneath the golden crown I had painted on her bedroom wall. Underneath the crown were the words "Princess Sophia" in that super cool squiggly writing and I was gonna have some big ass jewels put into the wall of our 3 birth stones for the pointy tops of the crown.

"Thanks for bringing this over, pop" I said as me and my dad finally put the crib down in the garage.

"Yeah well... I told your mom to donate it years ago but she always said she wanted you or your sister to have it" he said coldly as he dusted his hands off and looked around.

We hadn't spoke properly since me and Vanessa broke up. He came over the next day and I'm pretty sure it was to make sure I was still alive after I got my sorry ass beat. He didn't really stay long or say anything, but he didn't have too. I knew I'd disappointed him, his silence was deafening.

"How are they doing?" I asked.

He looked up at me and cocked an eyebrow. "They're doing okay..." he shrugged with his hands in his pockets.