Hack Into My Heart

Code 8: Anguish

For the next twelve days, I ghosted Yusuke and saw him as little as it was possible. I left the house with the first light of the day and came back after eating out. On the weekend I repeated the action except that I spent the day strolling around the streets and sitting in a park with a novel.

During those twelve days, Yusuke tried to talk to me whenever we met and kept buying me meals, but this time I was adamant. Previously, I was too naive and almost dropped my guard against him, but now I was smarter. I hardened my heart and focused on my job so that I could save enough money to rent a small flat. I also had a balance sheet on which I wrote my debt to Yusuke. Although for the time being I was pretending that I wasn't a parasite in the house, but he was indebted to me, I would pay him back no matter what.

I thought that situation would go on until I managed to get out of his house, but something unexpected happened and I couldn't bear to ghost him for that incident.

That day started like usual, me leaving Yusuke's house early in the morning and coming back around eight pm. By that time, Yusuke was still not at home. As I had some work to be done, I brought the laptop from work and because the wifi was better in the living room, I took the liberty to sit in there.

I was working fast so that I would finish the work before Yusuke arrived, but my plan failed as I heard the door open. Like a rabbit seeing light, I froze on my spot as if I was caught red handed. I closed the lid of the laptop immediately and jumped onto my feet to rush back to the room, but seeing Yusuke's lingering frame in the hall, my steps halted. He was stooping and had a demure aura around him.

"Did you kill somebody, why so down?" my mouth said mockingly before my brain could prevent it and Yusuke flinched visibly. He turned his body towards me with shock and I saw the left part of his face and clothes were smeared by blood.

I was too shocked and he was too sad to do anything, so we kept looking at each other until he fell onto his knees, crying his heart out. That broke my trance, I rushed to him and enveloped his shaking body with my arms, unwittingly. He leaned his face on my chest and I noticed how cold he was, as if his vitality was sucked out of him. With my one hand I rubbed his back while the other was caressing his blood-soaked hair.

He seemed so small and vulnerable in my embrace.

Yusuke cried and cried until there were no tears left in his puffed eyes. Gradually, his body stopped shaking, but he stayed leaning on me. As he had no energy left in him, I pulled him onto his feet and half-carried, half-helped him to the sofa. Then I rushed to the bathroom and brought a wet towel to clean his face.

Once returned, I sat on the floor in front of him and gently wiped the blood stains while he was sitting motionless with a blank expression on his face. As I wasn't used to seeing him like that, I panicked a lot and even considered taking him to hospital.

"Do you want me to take you to hospital?" I asked with worry after I discarded the bloody towel. Only then he showed the sign of consciousness.

"I-It's not... my blood..." he stuttered with a very low hoarse voice.

"Still..." I started, but couldn't find the right words to continue, "I will prepare you some tea," I changed the flow of my sentence and went to the kitchen. Luckily, Yusuke was quite fond of tea, so he had a wide range of them. Hastily, I prepared some melissa tea and brought the steaming cup to him. He received it with shaky fingers and took a sip.

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" I asked, my hand resting on his knee for support.

"A gang fight..." he whispered after a while later, "he was just a young kid..." he paused and sniffed, "I couldn't protect him... they shot him dead," he said with apparent pain in his tone and his lips trembled again as he swallowed a sob.

"It is not your fault," I said firmly, rubbing his knee. Although we were not on good terms, I had no suspicion about his willingness to help the boy he mentioned. How could I doubt him while he was sitting in front of me, broken to his very core?

"No, it is my fault... I couldn't cover him..." he started to cry again, so I shifted my position and sat beside him, rubbing his back. Maybe because he was drained already, he stopped crying a few minutes later.

"You should take a shower and then sleep," I said authoritatively as I pulled him up. He was like a human doll, letting me do whatever I wanted.

After I left him in the bathroom, I took his pyjamas and towels from his room and brought them for him. Being cautious, I waited in front of the bathroom door until he was out. Then I dragged him to his room and put him under the duvet. His eyes closed as soon as his head hit the pillow. Leaving the door ajar, I returned to the bathroom, put all the bloody clothes and towel into the washing machine and started it.

Once done, I poured a glass of water for Yusuke and left it on his nightstand. As I had no energy left to complete the work I was working on, I called it a day and returned to my room with a heavy heart. I wouldn't admit it, but I was deeply shaken by Yusuke's pain and tears.

Thinking about him, I fell into a slumber only to be woken up by Yusuke's screams. I jumped out of the bed and rushed to his room. He was squirming on the bed while screaming incoherently, tears trickling down from his tightly shut eyes to the pillow.

After the initial shock, I sat beside him and tried to wake him up, but he was too absorbed in his nightmare. As it didn't work, I shifted his body to my arms. I started rubbing his back and head while whispering soothing words to his ear. His hands unwittingly grabbed my t-shirt and didn't let go even when he calmed down. As I wasn't that cruel, I didn't let go of him either, so we stayed in that position all night long.