Cowgirls Don't Cry

CHAPTER SIX - KATIE

"Katie? You all good?" Jesse's troubled blue eyes came into focus as I startled back to attention and met his concerned gaze miserably. The chatter of the cafeteria filled my ears and I tried my best to block out the distinctive voices of Zamirah and Marina.

"Yeah, I'm fine, just a headache," I lied, keeping my face carefully void of all emotion.

"You sure? You seemed kind of upset after gym," Jesse commented, considering my expression.

Having known each other basically since birth, Jesse could read me like a book, and it was clear he knew something was up, but didn't want to push it.

"Nope, all good," I said cheerfully, the lie coming easily, and though it hurt me to keep anything from Jesse, he knew me too well to be completely fooled.

He nodded, unconvinced, but left me to my thoughts for the rest of the meal, which were more painful than any small talk right now.

So now Zamirah and Marina hated me. They thought I was just some ugly little redneck with a bad accent and an even worse farmer's tan. And on top of all that they thought I wasn't worthy of hanging around Jesse, and that we even liked each other that way in the first place. And all because I'd turned down their offer to join their 'popular crowd'. The shallow pettiness of it all made me sick, but I wasn't about to let them know I'd overheard, or allow them to hurt me that way.

Rearranging my expression to hide the hurt underneath, I smiled and sleep-walked through my classes, finishing the day once again in history class. A pair of girls from Marina and Zamirah's table sat in front of me, and their smirks and whispers were anything but inconspicuous to my painfully aware eyes. Seeing as no one else knew I'd overheard, I forced a smile at them and dutifully completed my work, speaking only when spoken to and watching the clock's ponderous journey towards 3pm.

When the bell finally rang out over the grounds, I hurriedly scraped back my chair, shoving books into my bag and trudging, head down, to my locker, and finally to the bus where Jesse was waiting.

"Katie, what's wrong?" Jesse asked quietly, as we waited in line with all the other bus kids.

"I told you, it's nothing," I replied stubbornly, and Jesse just looked at me.

I refused to meet his eyes, and he sighed.

"If it's Marina and Zamirah and their dirty looks, don't let them get to you, they're not probably game to actually say or do anything," Jesse guessed, trying to pinpoint the source of my bad mood.

"No, I told you, them looking at me funny doesn't bother me at all," I replied, which was technically true, since their glares weren't the problem, it was their voices behind my back. "Just leave it alone, it's fine,"

"Okay fine, it's none of my business, sorry," he said, looking up at the sky. "I just don't- nevermind, I'm sorry,"

"No, it's my fault, I overreacted. It truly is nothing, though," I insisted. "Appreciate it though, Jess, thank you," I said, meaning it.

Jesse smiled half-heartedly, and I returned it, before we boarded the bus and returned to our usual seat up the back.

The ride home was mostly silent, but I was okay with the quiet. It gave me time to think, my cheek pressed up against the window pane, Marina's words echoing in my brain, resounding with every jolt of the bus on these old back roads. The seats ahead of us emptied out, and soon it was just Jesse, Luke and I, plus our siblings, left on the bus.

Strange, but although I've caught the bus with Luke almost my whole life, and despite the fact our little brothers are best friends, I've never really talked to him, and now I wondered how so much personality and laughter was kept so quiet and reserved on those long bus-rides every morning and afternoon. Luke was reading The Outsiders, our English topic study book, his face was locked in total concentration, and I couldn't help but smile at his intense and slightly concerned expression.