Cowgirls Don't Cry

CHAPTER TWENTY - JESSE

The flood of students spilling out of the school hall on Tuesday afternoon seemed thicker than usual, as I tried to catch up to Katie at the line for our usual bus home. She looked lost and distant, pretty typical of her recently, and I would've blamed the concussion had I not known better.

"Everything all right, Kat?" I asked, as I caught up to her towards the back of the line. She glanced at me absently, and right then, I wanted nothing more than to see her smile and hear her laugh, sweet and soft and full of genuine happiness. I hadn't heard that laugh for a while, and I missed it sorely.

"Yeah, it's good," she replied, pulling her gaze back to meet mine, before dropping her eyes and biting her lip. "Been training for states,"

It was a habit of Katie's that I'd always found kind of sweet; she used to be so easy to read, with her habit of chewing on her bottom lip a sure sign of nerves, and the dimple on her left cheek appearing whenever she was teasing or laughing. Now Katie was like a poorly-translated Latin text; hard to read and not quite adding up.

"I can tell; Marlow looks like he's in prime condition, running up and down the fence line with your momma's mare," I smiled, hoping to draw her into conversation. "You training this afternoon?"

"I was going to, but Marlow could use a break," she replied, as I followed her onto the bus towards our usual seat up the back. "Might head down to the creek, if you want to join me? You don't have to, if you don't want-"

"Of course I want to," I assured her honestly, the uncertainty in her voice tightening the knot in my chest. She was so unsure of herself now, so quick to assume the worst, and it hurt to see her like this.

The bus ride home was quiet, as Katie withdrew into her own bubble of solitude, gazing out the window over the fields as the schoolbus rumbled down the back roads out near the boondocks. I talked to Luke for a while, asking how his older brother was going, and he seemed glad for the distraction.

"He's getting there, just seems like there's some lingering symptoms now," Luke shook his head. "Dad reckons its post-concussion syndrome, and Momma's really worried, says she doesn't want either of us competing anymore,"

"Bit rough," I said sympathetically. "She won't pull you off the rodeo circuit, though, will she?

"I hope not," Luke grimaced. "Dad's on my side, said it's unlikely I'll fall as bad as Max, and that he should've known better and worn a helmet,"

"That's not too bad, then," I replied, glancing over at Katie as she stared listlessly out of the window. My chest tightened and I turned back to Luke. "Still, post-concussion syndrome, that's hard luck, but better than Second-Impact, I guess,"

"Yeah, he's lucky for that," Luke agreed. "There's no way he'll be back in the running for an overall placing this year, though. Too much time off in recovery. That's if Momma ever lets him back,"

As we spoke, the bus rolled to a stop just ahead of Katie's driveway, and I stood up to let her off. She hadn't moved, her eyes now closed as she seemed frozen in time, her face blank and void of all emotion. Sighing, I ran a hand through my hair as I looked down at Katie.

"Sorry, Luke, I reckon I'll get off here," I smiled distractedly. "Hope your Momma doesn't pull you off the circuit, though, and good luck with Max's recovery,"

"Thanks, Jess," Luke bit his lip as he glanced over at Katie. "Look after her, hey? She hasn't been herself lately,"

I nodded, ignoring the spark of annoyance that prickled at Luke's words. This was ridiculous, getting all protective of Katie over some guy who obviously just cared about her well-being, like any decent person should. None of my business, even he did like her the way I thought he might.