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lucas

Michael shoves me. "What the fuck are you waiting for, Luke?!" He yells. 

We're sitting on the bench swing at my house. I had just activated my phone and put Katie's number in. I have the texting app open and her name at the top, but I don't know if I should really go through with this or not. What if she's better off without me? I don't want to just pop into her life and then pop back out because Ashton doesn't like it. 

Yes, I'm still worried about Ashton. I mean, I like this girl, a lot. I don't want to hurt her. 

"Bru-" I cut myself off. I sigh and type out a message and press send before I can change my mind. 

luke hi katie (: it's luke! 

I look up at Mikey and he's smiling that smug smile of his. I hate him. I'm probably just bothering Katie anyway. Fuck you, Michael Clifford.

She doesn't take long to text back.

katie oh, hey! cx

I smile at my phone and reply.

luke hi !

"Luke, Ashton's coming." Michael whispers as his eyes shift to behind my. I hide my phone under my leg and it's out of sight just in time. 

"Have you two seen Calum?" He asks, stepping in front of us. I involuntarily shift my eyes to my leg where my phone vibrated. Thank god Ashton looked at Mikey. 

"Nah, he's probably out getting us lunch. I mean, it is about one." Michael says. He glances at me and I look up and nod.

"He probably got McDonald's." I say.

Ashton nods. "Well, tell him that I need to talk to him as soon as possible. I can't seem to find my phone." He runs a hand through his hair and leaves. Michael stands up.

"I guess I should leave you alone. Just keep an eye out for Ash and be careful. I'm not going to be the one to get you your next phone." He says, and then he's gone. 

I sigh. 

katie so... got a new phone? c: 

I stare at her text. 

Is she with Harry? I wonder. Calum could have lied to me to make me feel less threatened. If she's with him now, what are they doing? Are they on her bed? Are they touching? Are they laughing together? Great, Luke, you've made yourself jealous over a gay boy. I shake my head.

luke yea

I instantly hate myself for doing this. I wouldn't do this to my worst enemy, using one word, stupid answers like this. I bet Katie really is better off without me. I'd look at her facebook, but what would I see? Would I see a picture of Harry and Katie? I don't want to see that. Knowing other people are with her, making her happy, makes me upset that I can't be with her. 

katie you okay?

To be honest, I'm not okay. I just would like to meet you in person. And hug you. And maybe even kiss you. I hate having to sit way the fuck in Australia while you're in America having the time of your fucking life. 

Maybe I love you? Maybe I have all these feelings and have no idea how to interpret them. 

luke yeah

I curse under breath and lock my phone, tossing to the other side of the bench. Fuck my life. Fuck me. ((; ok? ok.) Fuck everything. 

Maybe I should just ignore my feelings and talk to her like a normal person? If she doesn't want to talk to me, wouldn't she not talk to me? Isn't that common sense? 

My phone vibrates and I let it sit for a second before I pick it up.

katie well... i'm kind of in class rn, so ttyl ig.

Lies. 

It's only around 8 pm there. I guess she really doesn't want to talk to me. That's a shitty excuse to not to, also. Too shitty, actually. I bet she's with her friends... Or even Harry. He probably typed that out for her. 

You know what? Two can play this game.

luke kbye

-

She doesn't text me back.

-

hiya. here is luke.

basically luke is being v v bipolar about his feelings rn. plus with added stress of ash's bitch ass makes nothing better. 

lets all remember the time zones now bc at the beginning, that was not even close to being on my mind. at first, I was just gonna make it a twelve hour difference, but I made it 17 bc i googled it. ha.

also thank you thank you thank you for almost 300 hundred reads lol last i checked i was still at 250 tbh you guys make me happy okay? ily. 

maybe I'll update again tonight, idk. byeee