Don't Cry Over Phở

Chapter 14: stuDYING

Hehe this chapter is kind of long, but I promise it's very drama-packed. Enjoy lovelies!! <3

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That night, the exhaustion from staying up late so many nights and that cry fest I had from Luca's words caught up to me as I ended up crashing early. I'm not going to lie. That was a very much needed sleep after being a zombie for a couple days.

Waking up in the morning proved to be more of a futile effort than I thought since my body was still hungry for sleep despite the 8 hours I slept. Thankfully my red-rimmed eyes from crying were gone, but my signature eye bags were still there.

I got dressed quickly and headed downstairs, expecting my mom to hand me a plate of warm breakfast as she usually did when I greeted her, but instead I was met with a very stern look.

She was in her usual morning bathrobe with reading glasses hanging on the end of her nose. Uh oh. If she had glasses on, that meant she was reading something and that something couldn't be good news by the frown on her face.

"Allison, what is this?"

Oh fuck. She used my English name. That meant something was really up. She handed me a crumpled piece of paper.

Uncrinkling it, my stomach dropped as I realized it was a Calculus test I got back this week. A fat red B was etched at the top of the paper. She must have got it from the trash can as I guiltily remember crumpling it up and burying it. I thought that if I buried it far enough, I would forget it ever existed.

"I'm sorry. I know it's a B, but it won't affect my grade that much, I promise," I pleaded with her.

"You usually straight-A student. What happened? This bring your grade down!! If you don't get A in this class, no hanging out with friends," my mom said harshly. She looked gravely disappointed in me and I didn't know how to explain to her it was because of my sleep-deprived nights and the overwhelming feeling of school, work, AND saving the restaurant.

"You're always disappointed in me! Nothing I ever do is good enough for you. When will you ever understand how I feel?!" I bursted out, not being able to contain my frustration anymore. My parents only ever cared about my grades. They would never sympathize with me about the crushing workload I had right now.

My mom was taken back by my sudden outburst. She looked even more angry. "Allison! Did you just talk back to me?!" she shouted, her voice growing louder.

If this were any other family, I would have just ran out and called a bus to school, but I knew that if I did that, my parents would beat my ass. Too tired to argue with her any further, I tuned out the rest of my mom's angry rambles and retorts.

Wagging a finger at me, my mom made a tsk sound of disappointment. "We'll talk more about this after school and work," she said sternly.

Breakfast was tense and silent after that as my mother's anger was still simmering in the air. The atmosphere felt like the aftermath of a volcano eruption. The volcano being my mom of course.

My dad ended up driving me to school thankfully. I didn't know how I would have been able to handle my mom's disappointed stares in the car.

My first period was my usual boring Physics class. I found myself zoning out Mr. Porter's monotone lecture about equations I couldn't even understand, much less read. There was a foreign language I much rather learn about instead.

Hiding under my bulky Physics textbook was a small book of Vietnamese language basics. "Tiếng Việt Cho Người Câm" (Vietnamese for Dummies) was a book I checked out at the library on a whim. Learning Vietnamese was necessary to make the most efficient restaurant flyers, I thought.

Mouthing the words silently, I read through the first basic words and their pronunciations. So far I learned the basic hi and bye greetings as well as simple everyday objects. I barely noticed what was going on in the rest of my classes as I continued burying my nose in this language book I was determined to learn.

As lunch time came around, Zoey and I took our usual spots outside the cafeteria. It became a usual routine between us as we often shared funny experiences growing up Asian American. Zoey told me about the time she wore a Korean hanbok to school for a cultural event and ended up tripping on the hem causing her to land on top of a random cute guy. We laughed so hard about it that I almost choked on my egg rolls.

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Right after lunch ended, I resumed my tireless studying of the Vietnamese basics book. I was so focused on it that I barely even noticed Alex Harper's dazzling smile in my Calculus class. Not even when my book fell on the floor and when he handed it back to me.

His eyebrows rose in interest at the Vietnamese text on the open pages. He smiled, "Last minute studying?"

I laughed, "You can say that."

I continued reading more of the book, pronouncing words and sentences whenever I could. I even walked to my classes muttering the words under my breath. People must have thought I was a crazy lunatic talking to myself.

This whole day my thoughts were occupied with my mom and I's argument this morning, the pressure of saving the restaurant, and my frantic need to learn Vietnamese. My distraction must have shown on my face because Amanda, my usual tutoring kid waved a small hand in front of my face.

"Allison? Hello?" Amanda echoed.

I blinked, shaking my head a little. "Sorry did you need help with something?"

She pouted a little, looking at me with a small frown on her face. "You've been out of it like this entire session," she complained.

She was right. I've been out of it this whole day. I wasn't sure if the workload and stress I had right now was healthy, but I simply didn't have time to take breaks. It didn't help that I noticed Luca's not-so-subtle stares at me every 5 minutes. I refused to acknowledge his presence ever since that incident with him. I didn't need any more of his judgement and frankly I was also angry at myself for caring so much about what he thought of me.

I sighed, rubbing my eyes. "Sorry about that. I've just been really tired." I even forgot to bring Fruit Loops for her, but Amanda seemed to take pity on me as she refrained from her usual sassy banter with me for the rest of the club session.

To my utter annoyance when club ended, I felt Luca's eyes piercing my back again and I grumbled a bit under my breath. Can this boy at least make it not so obvious when he stared?!

Even when we carpooled together, I avoided making eye contact with him, stubbornly staring out the window. I half expected him to say something to me, but he didn't. My mom's loud Vietnamese podcast filled the tense silence between us much to my relief. I don't think she even noticed Luca and I's lack of arguing.

I thought that Luca would finally get the memo that I did NOT want to talk to him from my very obvious silent treatment, but to my annoyance, I was wrong. He grabbed my arm in the restaurant's break room, before I had the chance to escape him. His strong hold on me showing his never-ending persistence.

"Allison. Stop ignoring me. I need to talk to you," he said and for the first time, his voice held an emotional urgent edge to it compared to his calm, nonchalant tone I was used to.

Finally turning around to face him head on, I glared. "Let go of me," I said coldly, annoyance dripping from my words.

Luca's usual scowl was no where to be seen on his face. Instead it was replaced by a look of guilt which softened his hard features. For some reason it made me feel even angrier. He probably pitied me. That's the only reason why he feels sorry.

"I just wanted to talk to you about yesterday. Give me a chance to-" he started before widening his eyes, "Allison! Holy shit your nose!"

I felt liquid drip from my nose, assuming that I must have got a runny nose from being emotional again whenever I cried, but my eyes were bare. I reached my hand up to wipe my nose, looking down to see dark red streaks across my hand.

Wait, red?

That was the last thing I remembered before seeing my vision blur and feeling the room spin. Pitch black darkness flooded my sight.