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Nightmares

Night after night I saw the same dream. Nun dead, team dead, then Jax would kill me. He blamed me for all the mess and in my head, I agreed.

I woke up in a cold sweat and saw that Jax was asleep on the bed. It has been a month since I got back and nothing seemed to be helping my nightmares. I got up and made myself some coffee. I looked at the clock to find it was only 3 in the morning.

I decided to go for a drive and clear my head. I got in my old thunderbird and drove. I soon found myself at my old apartment building. I punched in the key code and walked to my old apartment. Rat has been staying here for his recovery. I found him laying on the couch.

Doc thought it was a good idea to take this time off, get away from the crazy, and rest. I have prescribed myself that same prescription. I went to my room and crawled in bed. I fell asleep with the smell of my old perfume and Jax's smell on my shirt.

I woke up to the smell of food in my apartment. I got up and looked at the clock, 1 in the afternoon. I walked into the kitchen to see Rat making burgers. He finished one and sat it on the bar.

"Eat. I heard you tossing and turning last night. You mumbled at lot you know. You didn't scream like I have been told. I already told Jax you were here and would stay for a few days. Now eat." I sat down and began eating what he made. After lunch or well breakfast, we sat on the couch and watched the new. The murders of those gang members were still on the news. They were soon to be cold cases because of lack of evidence or any leads from the fellow members who were still living.

After a few hours of tv, I crawled back in bed. For about 4 days all we did was sleep and eat. Just before I packed up to leave, Rat came running in my room.

"You're gonna want to hear this." He grabbed my hand and lead me to the TV. A picture of our club was on the local news. Jax was out in the front of the biker group. He let everyone know he was back.

Local news was calling it a miracle. They showed the old news of his "death" and compared it to him now able to ride. No one knew how or where he had come from but it was undeniably him.

I hurriedly pack the rest of my stuff and left. Rat was staying for another week. He had it worse than I did. Apparently he died multiple times and all that stress could mess with his heart too much.

I got back and Jax was quick to meet me outside. He gave me a big hug and a kiss on the forehead. Chibs came out and did the same. He grabbed my bags while Jax walked me inside.

"It's nice to see you. I see you are officially back from the dead." He gave me a smirk and opened the front door. I got a big surprise with all the boys waiting for me. A loud yell and a welcome home felt nice. I have to admit, they are my family.

After a few rounds, I made my way to the room. I unpacked all my stuff and Jax soon joined me. He looked better than I could have ever imagined. He looked fully healed but still had a small limp. He had already reassured me that he was fully recovered, minus a permanent limp, and the doctor cleared him to ride.

We went back sour for a few more drinks, food, and an update on Rat. We ate and drank for another two hours till I was too drunk to drink anymore. Jax picked me up and brought me to the bedroom. He quickly laid me down and I rolled right off the bed. I got up giggling but almost fell against.

"Whoah darling. We don't want you getting hurt in your first night back. Let's get you into bed now." He caught me just as I was falling and pulled me on my feet. He sat me on the bed and made sure I didn't fall of this time.

He took off my clothes and put me in some old shorts and one of his T-shirts. He was so sweet to me and I don't know why. This bad biker guy is supposed to be the meanest and the toughest. Not to me.

"You know you're thinking out loud right?" Jax giggled at me and my drunk ass hid my face. I was blushing so hard and I can't tell if it's from the embarrassment or the alcohol.

"You know, I think you're sweet. Like sweet potatoes. Wait no no like cookies. Yeah those are sweet." I stood up and wobbled a little but caught myself. I kissed him on the cheek. He was the one blushing now.

*The Next Day*

FUUUUCCCCCKKKKKKK!!!!! My head is killing me. Oh god. I ran to the bathroom and threw my guts up. This woke Jax and he ran in to help me. He held my hair back and when I finally calmed down, he handed me a wet washcloth. 

He started me a bath so I could feel somewhat better. Plus I still got puke in my hair before he came to my rescue. He washed my hair and face. I managed to also fall asleep with some makeup on. I looked like a mess before but after that bath, I felt a lot better.

I could hear my phone ringing but I decided to ignore it. After a few more calls, I got annoyed.

"Hello. Oh, hi Macy. What? Slow down you are talking too fast. Oh my god. Is everyone okay? Do you see my friend Rat? Macy? Hello?" My face was now void of color. The look on Jax's face was probably close to mine. Scared and confused.

"Jax. Someone set off a bomb in the basement of my old building. The bomb didn't do much but catch the building on fire and fry the electrical that was down there. Macy came home and the apartment head told her the news. Many are trapped in there still." I was already in tears. I was scared for Rat. He took one bullet for me while I took the other. He helped me get better while I had nightmare. We're were now good friends and he might not be here anymore.

Jax ran out the door and I followed. I ran after him. I heard him yelling for the boys to get on their bikes. They hopped on them and started driving. I quickly jumped in my car and followed after them.

When we pulled up, it was a very sad sight. People were screaming from their rooms. The fire escapes were jam packed in both sides of the building. People started jumping. My apartment has about seven stories but the fire escapes were complete shit. They hardly worked. They were missing some ladders and the ones that had ladders were normally so rusted that they were stuck. I could hear the fire truck coming but for many, it was too late.

I ran to the side of the building when I could see my window. Thankfully my apartment was only two stories up and I could see well enough in there to see most of my living room, if I backed far enough away. I couldn't see the couch where Rat normally slept. But as I could tell, there was no one in there. He had to make it out.