𝘮𝘦𝘭𝘰𝘥𝘺(𝘪𝘯𝘢𝘳𝘪𝘻𝘢𝘬𝘪𝘹𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳)

Chapter 10

TW: Bullying, manipulation, mentions of sucide, drugs, language, mentions of domestic violence.

Little Kyoto, the small town that was once part of the capital of Japan. Little Kyoto was what the locals called it mostly because it had every aspect of Kyoto in it, just a downsized version. It's where my great grandparents grew up, where my grandma and grandparents fell in love, where I was born. I was always happy growing up, always getting what I wanted.

My grandmother was my best friend, the first friend I've ever had. She taught me most of the things I've known and told me stories about how she was back in the day. She was gentle and treated everything with a delicate touch almost as if it were a flower and if she grabbed it too roughly it'll break. But that didn't mean she wouldn't put anyone in their place, telling me that if someone is being treated unfairly or if they're treating me unfairly to shut them down right away.

She taught me what it means to be a woman and having respect for other women. "They tell you that boys will be boys. But that's bullshit." She wasn't kidding, Grandpa even said that if a boy gets too close to my liking to sock him where the sun doesn't shine. I owe them my life, more than my life if that makes sense. Momma and Papa were there to help too but not the way my grandparents did. While momma taught me love and compassion, grandma taught me self-respect and virtue to name a few.

Momma was excited when I told her I made a friend. It was after my first day of junior high, up until then It was hard for me to make friends which I didn't care about at all, "What's the point in having friends?" I'd say, I guess there was a point because eventually I did make them. Akari was the first one who befriended me, she was shy, mostly reserved and only spoke when spoken too. It was a surprise when she came up to me and asked to be friends. I didn't mind.

Akari was easy to get along well with, we're opposites, which helped our friendship grow overtime. She always had her long black hair in a neat ponytail, there was never a day where it wasn't. Her beautiful sea blue eyes brought the beach to me every time I got lost in them. Her uniform was always wrinkle free and always smelled like linen almost like it was washed everyday. She always strived for the very best and never stopped until she was satisfied. She seems like she didn't take anyones bullshit. Boy was I wrong, as we grew closer she told me about her homelife, the way her father was demanding, her mother's obedience towards him.

"I'm forced to act that way too, like a robot waiting for a command." She told me, I wanted to tell her she could break free from that but...I could never find the right words to tell her. Only reassuring her that everything's going to be alright. Looking back at it now I hate myself, I still hate myself. Around our third year of middle school we got a new student from Tokyo, Chiyoko Fujinuma.

Everyone loved her, I mean who wouldn't. She was smart, outspoken, her medium length fiery red hair and big black eyes made her hard to miss in a cowardly way. She became friends with everyone including me and Akari.  Those who saw us around school compared us to sisters, Akari was the shy little sister, Chiyoko was the confident big sister and then me the average middle sister who tended to get forgotten. Chiyoko was what I wanted to be, not looks but the way she carried herself.

The summer before our first year of highschool was a turning point. Akari had come to my grandma's house one night frantically, she was bruised and bleeding, mom wasn't far behind either. Akari had said how her father went ballistic and how he always did whenever his mother didn't cook him dinner the right way, something I didn't know. "I told him to stop and I hit him and ran." Her mother was crying telling her to let her go back, that's just how he says he loves her. It didn't take long for him to get arrested, the first month was hard, I spent my nights in Akari's home helping her mother and her. Chiyoko showed up once but only left right away claiming she was needed somewhere else.

By the second month everything seemed back to normal, Akari was finally smiling heck even her mother was laughing over god knows what. It warmed my heart that I was able to help a friend and help other women as well. The next time I saw her, I was stunned, her once fully long black hair now had stripes of red and curled at the bottom, her skirt was hiked up while her shirt was now tightly on her body with the top buttons undone.

"Chiyoko taught me how to love myself." She said, I could have taught her. What she meant was that others are loving me and by others she meant guys. It didn't take long for me to see Akari with different guys, don't get me wrong if that's what you want to do go ahead. I wasn't going to stop her even if it hurt seeing her like that. It wasn't until she showed up to hang out one day with black eye bags, slightly bloodshot eyes and her clothes were disheaved. Her excuse was that she woke up late and gave me a kiss on the cheek as reassurance.

When my grandparents passed, that's when I found out Chiyoko had been giving her drugs and feeding her lies. I was wrong when I said everything was getting better, Akari's mom had been bringing home men every once in a while, one even touched Akari. Chiyoko was the one to comfort her, telling her that it wasn't her fault but mine. I was the reason her father isn't home or why her mother was so heartbroken. She also said that she had a solution to just one little tiny thing to make her happy. Akari accepted.

During those hot summer months, they became higher than a kite, mostly staying over at Chiyoko. Her style quickly changed and her perspective changed too. She wanted love, she craved it from anyone. Chiyoko was more than glad to supply her with all the love she wanted. When she found out how my grandpa commit sucide, Chiyoko laughed at me.

She said it was pathetic how he killed my grandma then killed himself to hide the evidence. That was the first time I ever hated another woman before, I blacked out but Chiyoko was in serious condition in the hospital. The word went around town along with rumors, there wasn't a day where there weren't insults thrown around. On our last day there Akari came to see me, she yelled at me but then she kissed me and I kissed her back.

She smiled when we pulled apart but I didn't, she was so broken, I was broken. "Don't you love me?" She asked with a face she knew I couldn't resist. "I just don't love what you've become." I told her with a straight face. She was crying again. "I do love you but you have to love yourself before you can love anyone else." I left her in hysterics.

Grandpa always said I was a fixer, picking up broken things and fixing them. I guess that's what I saw in Akari, even before the drugs. I wanted her to be happy and once she seemed like she was I just stood by letting her get destroyed from the inside out. She was my first love, I guess that's why it hurt so much.

Momma doesn't even know, you know? Nor does papa nor Akari and sure as hell not Chiyoko. The only people I told were grandma and grandpa and that random stranger at that one store I went to in the middle of the night. Pretty sure he was drunk, he kept asking me which one lysol or clorox. 2 out of the 3 took it to their graves, I'm scared you know. It's funny because this is the society we live in.

With bullshit rules and even more bullshit people. Why can't a man love another man or a woman love another woman? Why can't I love both? Is it against the rules? What are the rules of life? Do I even want to live if there are limitations to how I should act because I'm a girl or because I love both girls and boys?

At the end of the day, I hate and love little Kyoto almost a little too much. But,

"I'll never go back."

A/N: If anyone of you are going through a hard time don't be afraid to talk to someone. I would more than gladly listen because you're worth more than anything in the world and it warms my heart knowing that I'm making someone else's day a little more brighter. I love you guys <3