I Love All Of You (Miraculous Fan-Fiction)

8. guilt, despaire, and desire

Fan/art: here's some apology marichat for the last chapters pls don't hate me 😇😇

A/N: iv been brain storming these next 2 chapters for a while and i'm super excited weeeee so here it is enjoy and dw the reveal is coming soon <333

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2 weeks later-

Marinettes POV:

it's been about 2 weeks since iv genuinely talked to chat noir as ladybug , if there is an akumatization we get it done but he won't talk , flirt , make puns , nothing. It's all because i'm an idiot .

i don't think there's anything i can do as ladybug to make him know i believe in him but iv made sure every time he comes over to check on him and comfort him if he needed it .

we've still been closer than ever but nothings really happened in terms of my feelings . which is probably for the best because it can't happen , i don't ever want to go through what i did again and i don't want to be the cause of chat noir destroying the world .

it sucks it really does but i'll get over it i hope .

i have a lot of things to do this week , alya has been driving me insane with all of these preparations for the dance on Friday .

shoes , dresses , makeup , hair , suits , ALL OF IT. She's my best friend but sometimes i wonder if she secretly likes torturing me .

~~~

it's time to go shopping with Alya so i decide to wear a simple outfit ...
a lavender zip up and some ripped blue mom jeans with my white converse .

Alya texts me to go outside and we arrive at the mall .

"are you gonna buy anything we've been to 6 stores?" alya presumes. "i don't think so" i reply , "marinette you've been depressed all week in bed , i think it's time you treat yourself" she says which startled me how she could that i was sad "how'd you know i was depressed" i ask her . "marinette its apparent to every one of our classmates that you aren't okay , if you need to talk i'm here" she says .

all i can think about is chat noir , how he always wanted to check up and make sure i was okay . how he'd tuck me into bed before he left , help me pick out my outfits the night before school , cheered me on when i was working on designs, it all brought me back and reminded me of him and how he hates me as ladybug .

i only have myself to blame for causing such a huge lump in his soul and such a huge hole in my heart.

"marinette?" alya says which breaks me out of my distractions ... well, distraction . "i'm fine alya let's just go get something to eat or something else , anything else.

~~~

it's a little later on Tuesday night and i'm working on my dress .
"whatcha working on princess" chat says entering my room through the trap door .

"just my dress for the dance" i say . "oooooo a dance , sounds fun ,am i invited?" he says jokingly
"i mean sure if your civilian self just happens to go to
Françoise Dupont" i reply jokingly
he chuckles lightly in response.

"Sooo do you have a date to this dance" he says with an ever so slight smirk spread across his lips
"no why" i ask even though i know he's joking
"NO? did anyone ask you ?" he asks , why does he want to know ?

"no, i don't think anyone at my school looks at me in that way" i reply
"marinette , i'm sure there are plenty of people who look at you in that way , why don't you ask??" he says

"i don't know i just don't really like anyone like that , well there was this one boy but he definitely doesn't look at me in that way"
"oh do tell" he replies . "well iv liked him for a while now and iv dropped hints left and right , he's never picked anything up so what's the point ? i'm not going to sit around just to wait for a guy who's not interested"

"he sounds like an idiot" he says "tell me about it , we're friends though and he's great i just wish i didn't waste so much time on him that's all"

chat and i sat there for a while , joking , crying of laughter , while i was working on my dress .

"andddddddd DONE!" i finally say as i finish my dress after working on it for weeks .

"wow finally! it's been exhausting watching you poke your fingers with the needle and then not being able to find the thread you want and-" i cut him off "HEY!" i spew out and he laughs "i'm just joking princess , i love watching you go all over the place when you're concentrated and determined"

"well i'm going to go try it on , so tell me what you think" i say

"wow" chat beams as i walk out of my bathroom , i can feel the heat on my cheeks , i hate to suppress all these feelings and i hate having to lie but right now all i could feel is my heart glowing and my eyes glossing up .

"marinette you look breathtakingly beautiful, everyone is going to have their eyes on you at that dance" he says , i start to tear up a little
"thank you chat noir" i say with a small smile

i'm wearing a short cocktail style velvet dress in a dark forest green color , with spaghetti straps and a sweetheart neckline, it's simple but i love it .

~~~

chat noir and i sit for around 2 more hours playing video games and talking when we see the clock , it's 2am .

"woah already?" he says as if he can read my mind .
"guess so" i say with a frown .

we both stand up from our chairs and lock eyes , the moments like these with my kitty are the ones i wish i could treasure in a different way , in a way where i didn't have to keep every thing from him or burry my emotions that i have for him . my eyes are filled with guilt , despair and desire , desire for something i'll never have . for someone i'll never get to share this with .

"goodnight princess" he says with his eyes filled with emotion as he breaks eye contact and embraces me in his warmth . i hug him back and we stay like that for a while until he has to go .

whenever he leaves it feels like my heart is aching to ask him to stay and reveal my identity but i know better than to let my emotions get the better of me .

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A/N: ZAYUM YALL THIS TOOK ME A LONG ASS TIME TO WRITE

ANYWAYS i'm so excited for the next chapter that i'm currently working on and will be publishing tomorrow and i know i said in my last chapter this would be the dance but i changed it into 2 chapters cause it was too long and we've gotta hear adriens pov on all this .

and there will be smut soon 😏😎😎

i hope you enjoyed this chapter bestipops until next time <3333