Forbidden Lovers (MewGulf AU)

🌞Chapter 3

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Mew couldn't remember how he got home. He couldn't taste much of his dinner. His favorite variety shows on TV seemed strangely distant and uninteresting. When his mother nagged him to go take a bath, he did, but as he took off his undershirt and glanced in the bathroom mirror, he was startled at what he saw. Long, red scratches covered his back. Many of them.

The image snapped him back to reality.

He suddenly remembered that Gulf clawed his back desperately, begging him to stop. Mew's body was suddenly filled with a fiery hot embarrassment. The dark red marks were dried blood, left behind as a sign of Gulf's frantic resistance.

"I bet Teach Gulf was in a lot of pain..." Mew whispered sadly to his reflection.

Mew had known the basics of how men had sex with each other, mainly from curious friends who had a lot of sexual knowledge. They had conversations about how it was supposes to be really painful, but also how some people said it felt really good. However, none of them had ever actually experienced it themselves so they couldn't really say whether it was actually pleasurable or painful.

But Mew hadn't done it just because he had been curious.

He loved Gulf. He loved him so much he hadn't been able to contain himself. He didn't know why he hadn't thought of consequences, or of Gulf's feelings, or of punishment, or of his parent's shock if they found out---all the normal things any person would consider. His rational judgment just flown away.

It was his last year of high school, the year when he had to take college entrance exams. Even having a regular girlfriend would be a lot of trouble, but he had just done something like this.

"Listen, I don't know if you love me or what, but I don't have feelings like that for you."

When had Mew first realized that he loved Gulf? At first he had just simply thought his teacher was beautiful, regardless of him being another man, regardless of him being a high school teacher. Mew had been impressed by him.

Gulf was popular among the students, and always the subject of girls gossip. Everytime Mew heard another story about him  his teacher became more and more like a kind of celebrity in his mind. 'If only he'd notice me a little bit, if only I could be closer to him' were thoughts thay entered Mew's mind. It was a common scenario. At some point, Mew begun to see Gulf as someone special.

As soon as he realized this, he knew he had fallen in love.

He watched enviously as girls gave Gulf chocolate on Valentine's Day or food they happily cooked for him in Home Economics. He couldn't help but be really envious. He felt uneasy at the sheer amount of people who seemed to be in love with Gulf.

"I was already in too deep, so I should have just told him my feelings," Mew muttered.

No matter how much lust he had felt, maybe he should have just ignored it.

'Teacher...'

If Mew had known he would regret it this much, he should have just confessed his feelings regardless of them being of the same sex or of their age difference. Even if he knew that Gulf wouldn't go out with him.

Using the name of Bright Vachirawit, Gulf's good friend and a Social Studies teacher, Mew called Gulf into that classroom.

Mew sighed.

"I don't know if you love me or what, but I don't have feelings like that for you".

"It's only natural..." he mumbled.

It was only natural that Gulf hated him.

'What I did was a crime.'

"Give me some time to think about what you should do to atone for this. There's a whole year until you graduate, after all."

"Atonement, huh..."

But was there anything he could possibly do to atone for such a thing?

TBC