Forbidden Lovers (MewGulf AU)

👦Chapter 11👩

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"What would you do if you asked an ex to get back together and they said, "Why?" What do you think?" Bright asked the school nurse with a serious look on his face.

There were no students in the infirmary after school, just Bright and the beautiful school nurse, Yaya Urassaya. During the day, students often stopped by the infirmary for rest or relief, but it was rare for a teacher to stop by as often as Bright did.

"That probably means there's no chance," Yaya answered bluntly.

"....That's what I was afraid of," Bright said with a sigh.

"That doesn't sound like you, though," Yaya remarked. She knew that Bright was usually a man who didn't dwell on the past---a confident man. "So you're saying you want to get back together with someone that you dumped?"

"Yeah, I really do," Bright answered.

"Why?" Yaya inquired.

"Love, I guess." Bright said.

"Well, it seems like you're the only one who feels that way," Yaya observed.

"This is a good opportunity, so why don't you try to analyze this yourself?"

"Who, me?" Bright asked.

"I understand you're a playboy, so I feel sorry for your ex if they had to put up with that," said Yaya.

"We didn't break up because I hated them or anything," Bright protested.

He hadn't. But he did break up with him because he didn't want to start hating him.

"So for some unknown reason, you want to get back together now?" Yaya asked.

"No, but...I don't know." Stroking his chin, Bright looked down, lost in thought.

"You're already 28, right?" Yaya inquired. "So this time you want to start over with marriage in mind?"

"What?" Bright looked up, dumbfounded. "Marriage?" To Gulf?

"Oh, you're not? You don't want that kind of commitment with them?" she said in a critical voice.

"Marriage is...out of the question." Bright replied hesitantly.

Just having others find out they were dating would cause enough trouble.

"I gave up, then." Yaya rested her chin in her hands and continued, "I understand where your ex is coming from. I'd ask why too. Teach Bright, why do you want to get back together with them, seriously?"

"Ah..." Bright thought again. "I'm not sure myself. But lately they've just been on my mind, and I find myself thinking about when we were together---when we met, when we were totally in love with each other..."

"Hmmm..."

"We only went out for two years," Bright told her, "but a lot happened...and we broke up."

"You mean you dumped them, right?" Yaya asked bluntly.

"You don't have to sound so mean about it!" Bright protested.

"I'm just stating the obvious," Yaya said.

"Yeah, thanks," Bright said with a wry smile. "Maybe I am too egotistical."

During their high school days, on their days off, all Gulf would do was wait for Bright to call him---it was burdensome. He took everything Bright said so seriously and had been really clingy. It was too oppressive to be loved by someone so completely.

The reason Bright had wanted to run away from Gulf was because of that problem. He knew there were those that wanted that kind of love. But when he had been with Gulf, he realized that he didn't know what kind of love he liked yet, since it had been his first love. Gulf was the kind of person who would try to be everything their partner wanted them to be---align themselves with their interests, and it had been exasperating. Bright couldn't be with someone like that.

But it wasn't Gulf's fault he was like that. And of course Bright didn't blame Gulf for being like that. It wasn't about who was the bad guy. When they first went out, they knew they weren't compatible with each other, and so they had broken up. But even after that, Bright still felt Gulf's eyes on him.

"They never really saw me..." Bright mused.

But he knew Gulf had taken his eyes off him a long time ago. Bright was the one continuing to think about Gulf. He had been the one fixated on the past.

"So that's how it is..." he mumbled as he realized the truth.

The heaviness of that realization was hard to bear, but he finally felt like he understood his dilemma. He had loved Gulf all along.

"Do you feel like you can sort out your feelings?" Yaya prompted.

"I think I already have." Somehow, Bright had always been conscious of Gulf, and it wasn't because he wanted to run away. "I guess I'm still pretty hung up on them."

"Really..." She nodded slightly. "If you aren't considering marriage, but still want to get back together with them, you might as well start from a one-sided love."

"A one-sided love?" When Bright thought about it, he had basically already been doing that this whole time.

"Teach Bright, you might have never experienced one, but a one-sided love has its own merits, you know," Yaya said wisely.

TBC