trittany

three

i had just woken up and it was saturday. my phone was vibrating on my side table like crazy. i wiped my eyes and yawned dramatically. i had just moved out to my own little home. it was my dream house, just in a smaller size.

i picked up my phone and swiped through the notifications on my home screen. they were all from trevor.

brittany pls call me back

it's important where r u

can u wake up baby

sorry to wake u but it's important

babe can u wake up

please britt

there were 4 missed calls from him and i quickly went into my voicemails.

"hey baby, it's me. i don't want you to worry but it's important so pick up."

"brittany, it's trev, please wake up. call me back, bye."

now of course i was in a panic. i went to my phone app and typed in his number as fast as i could. it rang twice and then i heard the heavenly voice.

"britt?" he asked in his deep morning voice and i couldn't help but smirk but immediately wiped it off my face when i snapped out of it.

"yeah, what's happening?" i asked quickly. i could even say myself that i sounded pretty worried.

"don't panic babe, can i come over or do you want me to tell you now?" he asked yawning. i wish i could be with him right now.

"tell me now but come over after,"

"okay, that sounds go-"

"shut up and please tell me what this is about!" i interrupted rudely but he let out a really quiet chuckle and started.

"last night i went out to celebrate with the boys because of the end of filming for now. but something slipped about us,"

"like our relationship?" i half screamed.

"yeah. so the other guys were asking why i wasn't playing around with the girl dancers and stuff at the club because they say i'm always usually flirty and fun with them. i kept making excuses and they were on me all night."

"so you told them?" i asked shocked.

"no i said i had a girlfriend. they're on the hunt to find her though,"

"so they don't know it's me?" i asked.

"no, but they're seriously looking. they're going to find out sooner than later."

"oh my god. screw my life. i'm done." i said falling back onto my bed.

"sorry baby, i know i messed up." trevor said apologetically and i almost cringed at his cuteness.

"no it's not your fault. please don't think that. can you come over in 15 with breakfast?" i asked changing the subject.

"for sure. i'm on it. see you then britty."

"bye boo," i said quickly and hung up.

**

i suffered from a depression disorder which trevor didn't know about. all the anxiety was really getting to me and it wasn't sitting well. my depression hadn't really acted up in forever, but lately i've been a mess. of course trev takes my mind off everything and so does filming but everything in the real world is taking a toll. i don't feel like myself anymore. i'm upset with my body, my clothes, my hair, how i look, how i feel. the list will go on forever. i have never cut or harmed myself or anything like that. my depression consists of not eating or drinking and laying in bed for hours on end judging myself. it's terrible. i hate it but it takes over me. i haven't been like that in so long. this whole relationship and keeping it a secret is so stressful. to be honest, a half of me does want to tell the world about my boyfriend. the other half hates to even think of telling one soul. i had to explain everything to trevor. tell him everything from my disorder to what's on my mind.

"so i've been meaning to tell you...a lot." i said.

we were sitting on my couch on a sunday night, eating chinese food. it's pretty typical for us. we sit there and bond and cuddle and kiss each other.

"yeah?" he says and i move closer to him and lean my head on his shoulder as i take a bite of my spring roll.

"where do you want me to start?" i ask with my mouth full.

"anywhere you wanna start." he shrugs putting his plate down and turning to me. i take my head off of his shoulder and sit across from him and he grabs both my hands and looks at me with full attention.

"okay. i have been really anxious to tell you this. i have a depression disorder." i just said straight on and he looked at me and nodded.

"oh my gosh. i'm so glad you told me...i've just never known or even thought of that. wow...i'm so sorry," he said at a loss of words.

"don't be sorry," i giggled punching him in the shoulder playfully.

"alright baby, what else?"

"our relationship has been on my mind and it's stressing me out. just everything about keeping it a secret and whatever," i said looking down.

"i've been waiting for you to say that."

"say what?" i ask looking at him confused.

"that we should think about going public," he says smiling.

"really?"

"yes,"

"okay." i say giving him a quick kiss on the lips.