𝘰𝘭𝘥𝘦𝘳 | greys anatomy (editing)

| 43 |

Disclaimer: I cried this episode because an old lady got her dog back, I can't even own Grey's Anatomy because then I would cry for years until I could be able to kill of Lex, Mark, and Derek.

"Like snow, beautiful and cold."

"I had sex with Callie O'Malley." Mark sang in my ear as I left the parking lot. I looked at him with a puzzled look, why on earth was he telling me this. It wasn't that it hurt, I just felt awkward the second the words left his mouth.

"Okay, and why should I know that?" I laughed, trying to get out of the position I was in.

"I just want you to know that I'm doing stuff and that we're not weird, what about you?" answered Mark and opened the entrance door to the hospital for me.

"What about me?" I raised an eyebrow as we walked towards the elevator. The last time I was in an elevator with him we had kissed, but it was all over now, we were just friends, we made that perfectly clear while sleeping in the same bed that night.

"Oh no, you need to get laid, Malia." he started and I immediately groaned.

"Please no sex talk with me, I'm not Derek." I chuckled, the rest of the elevator ride was silent, and after that, we went our separate ways.

It was truly weird talking to Mark about this stuff, especially after our encounter back at my place. I mean, we almost did have sex, and if we had it would've meant a lot for the both of us, but now Mark is dismissing it as if nothing had happened, and as if we had always been just friends who can chat about anything, even their sex life.

•-•-•

I was ready to get to the M&M, for me it was basically nothing since I had lost only two patients due to massive head injury after car accidents, but I was very anxious about Burke and Bailey's M&M speech since they had to speak about the whole LVAD cutting thing that happened to Denny, and where my sister was involved.

Of course, when I saw the interns they were more than excited about the festivity since they got to see how their superiors (residents and attendings) got scolded for their wrong-doings.

I took a seat next to Derek as I listened to Richard's staring speech, knowing that I was first to go up. I could see it in Derek's eyes, he was still upset about Mark joining the team but tried not to show it at all, it was as if-...he was angry about something else, something bigger. Maybe it was the divorce, he did have to leave soon for the finalizing, but maybe it was something else.

"Now, Dr. Malia Grey will continue," Richard called out. I nodded my head and got up the stage.

"Alright so, the first patient-..as you can see was a 45-year-old man with a massive brain bleed." I started to explain while glancing up at the monitor which showed all the data according to the patient I was talking about.

The whole M&M thing turned out to be a total disaster. I even had to shout at some disrespectful men when they told Miranda that she had gone soft after her baby was born. Truth to be told I am more than disgusted about the men that work here, how could they say such a thing to a woman that is a better surgeon than all of the men put together, but who knows-...jealousy goes a long way.

•-•-•

"So, is the divorce finalized?" I asked Derek after finally getting out of a surgery where nothing but quietness was heard. I was starting to think that he was mad with me, but that thought just made me over-think over-thinking.

"Uh-..yeah, everything went smoothly." Derek shortly answered and took off his ferry boat scrub cap. We started to scrub off the blood on our hands.

"Oh, by the way, have Meredith told you about-" I didn't get to finish my sentence about the whole choosing Derek over Finn thing when Derek loudly interrupted me.

"Is there something going on between you and Mark?" at that moment my heart skipped a beat. He knew. Of course, he knew, how couldn't he, it wasn't as if it was that hard to figure out. "Because if it is I need to know right now, Malia."

I stayed quiet for what felt like an eternity. How could I tell him? This was all wrong. I had messed up everything. "Derek I-"

"I knew it," he shouted. "First my wife, now my best friend," Derek mumbled to himself. I was close to tears, I was so close to them that I could feel my eyes burning with water.

"Derek, but there is nothing anymore, I swear, just please let me explain-"

"No, I've had enough, gosh, I can't believe you would actually do something like that to me, TO ME, MALIA." and with that, he was away. This was the time I couldn't help it, hot tears streamed down my cheeks as if it was raining. Yeah, how could've I done it? Did I really thought it would end well?

"Malia, you paged?" I looked up with my bloodshot eyes to see Addison standing there. The second she saw my eyes hers turned to worry, quickly she rushed to me. "What is it, talk to me."

"I-..I messed up." I sobbed as I placed my head in my still a little bloody hands. "I messed up so badly." I felt Addison's hand slid up my shoulders, trying to calm me down.

"Tell me what happened," she whispered. I knew I could trust her, I knew she would be the only person who wouldn't judge me for what I've done.

"I-..I got close with Mark, I-...for a moment we were together, but nothing happened, there wasn't any sex or stuff like that-...and Derek found out, he-..he will never forgive me." I murmured, my head still in my hands.

It was quiet for a while before Addison pulled me into a big hug, and the second she did I felt better. "Oh, I'm sorry," she said in my hair as I cried my eyes out. "I'm sure everything will be just alright."

"Derek!" I shouted as I left the hospital. He was just about to step into his car but I stopped him, and he turned around.

"I do not want to hear it, Malia," Derek shouted back and was about to get into his car, but my hand reaching his arm stopped him.

"Derek Christopher Shepherd you will listen to me right now," I yelled, and luckily for me, he turned around to face me, but not before giving me an eye roll.

"It is not what you think, okay?" I started. "okay-..it kind of is, but I didn't have sex with him, I know you think that I did, but I swear to you we didn't, I stopped him."

"Are you really trying to make me believe that you, that you stopped Mark Sloan from having sex-..that is literally the most absurd thing I have ever heard." sarcastically chuckled Derek, but when he was my serious face he instantly believed that I was in no way lying. "You did?"

"Yes, and I promise you on my life that it has now ended, I was stupid to think that we were something Derek, I-..I was just desperate to be loved, I guess, but now I understand." I went up close to him and put my hand on his cheek. "Derek, I am loved, and I don't need some Mark Sloan for that." I smiled. "I did not want to hurt you, that would be the last thing I would ever want, you have to believe me."

I saw that a small smile was making its way up to his mouth, and that meant I was making progress. "I love you more than I love myself, Derek, and I hate myself for hurting you, I really do." a tear ran down my cheek.

We were in silence before he pulled me in. It was the best hug I have ever had. After pulling away he pulled our foreheads together, a gesture that I loved when he did it. "I love you too, more than you know."

•-•-•

a/n: i'm kind of in love with this chapter, hahaha.
anyways, what do you think, huh?