Running on Empty

Expectation is the root of all heartache

Hitoshi was running.

He'd been running his whole life.

From his foster parents, from bullies, from the future everyone claimed he was destined to have.

He'd always run away from his problems, it was all he knew how to do.

But he was getting so, so tired of it.

And that was how he wound up on the rooftop of his latest foster parents' apartment building at one in the morning, thinking that perhaps it was time to stop running and face the truth.

No one would ever accept him as a hero, people had only ever viewed him as a villain for the past decade there was no reason for him to believe that would change.

But there was some small part of him which had held onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, if he could get into UA, with the proper training he could change their minds.

He'd thought that even though he didn't know how to fight, his speed and stamina that had been developed through years of fleeing combined with his quirk would give him a fairly strong chance in the entrance exam. Whatever he was faced with, he was sure he could catch them off guard with his brainwashing.

But robots?

Fucking robots?

Hitoshi had never felt so numb as all around him applicants were gaining point after point and all he could do was stare helplessly at the giant metal beasts that his quirk was utterly useless against.

So when he went home that day and his foster parents were waiting in the hallway with his muzzle and their disgust, he didn't even try to protect himself as they forced the contraption on so tightly it broke skin. He didn't even bother bringing his hands up to shield himself when they started to hit him. It's not like it would make much difference; he was already bruised and bloody from yesterday.

When they'd finally had enough, he lay there for a long, long time, curled up on the cold ground and realised that he couldn't feel anything anymore. He'd just watched his last shred of hope for his future, for his life go out the window and now he had nothing left.

No family to miss him. No friends to mourn. No one would even notice, he thought.

And whatever was waiting on the other side surely couldn't be worse. In fact, the brief thought that perhaps he was already in hell flitted through his mind, and he would have laughed if it weren't for how tight the muzzle was.

Instead he just pushed himself to a sitting position, gritting his teeth against the pain as tears welled up in his eyes. He'd never let them fall though. Never show the world how damaged he was. He just pulled himself to his feet, taking a long moment to steady himself against the wall, before leaving the apartment and making his way towards the stairs.

It took him longer than he'd ever admit to make it to the roof, but he eventually found himself staring down at the pavement below him, relief flooding his body as he realised that this was it, he'd never have to hurt anymore.

No more foster families with their muzzles and their hatred.

No more bullies with their fists and their taunts.

No more Hitoshi with his childish dreams and villainous quirk.

This was the best thing, he decided, for everyone.

And so he stepped out of his old, battered shoes, took his jacket off and folded it neatly before he stepped confidently onto the ledge. He took it as a sign that there wasn't a fence or anything to climb over, it was like the whole universe agreed that this was the right choice.

Not that he really felt like there was a choice anymore. Die or ...what? He couldn't call the past 11 years living, even surviving was a stretch at this point. So he stood certain and steady on the edge as the wind whipped his purple hair into his eyes and bit at the grazes along his arms.

The height didn't scare him, the certainty of his death just brought him comfort as he judged the distance ...yeah, there was no surviving that drop.

He let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding and closed his eyes.

For the first time in a long, long time Hitoshi smiled. It was small, and it was weak, and it didn't reach his eyes so no one would ever know. But behind the muzzle he smiled.

And then he leant forward, and pushed off the ledge.

But the fall never came.