Running on Empty

Please tell me I did not say that out loud

"So... what is your name?" Hitoshi asked awkwardly, and the stranger laughed loudly, throwing her head back so violently she nearly whacked Hizashi in the chest.

"Fukukado Emi, but you might as well came me Emi. Everyone else here does."

Hitoshi nodded and looked at Shouta awkwardly, he didn't know what to say. Both of his guardians seemed remarkably unbothered by her attempts to flirt with Sho. He just looked tired, and 'Zashi looked amused!

Yeah, this made zero sense to Hitoshi whatsoever.

They made their way to the living room and sat on the sofas, Shouta not-so-subtly manoeuvring Emi to the seat furthest away from Hitoshi.

Emi smirked at the obvious placement, "You've gone soft Eraserhead." Her grin widening as his scowl deepened.

"I'm just trying to minimise the havoc you can cause."

"Havoc? I don't know what you're talking about." She claimed innocently and Nemuri laughed as Shouta rolled his eyes with a scoff, before heading to the kitchen, presumably to check on the food as a means of escape. As soon as he was out the door she turned to Hitoshi. "So, you enjoying it here?" She asked amiably. "They haven't driven you insane yet?"

Hitoshi let out a quiet chuckle, "I don't think so, but I'm not sure I'd be able to tell."

"Heyyy," Hizashi pouted, "You're supposed to say, oh no Emi, not at all — they're perfectly sane!"

Hitoshi shrugged, "They don't need Tsukauchi-san's quirk to see right through that."

Emi burst into laughter and Hizashi just stood there with his mouth hanging open.

"Careful 'Zash," Nemuri wheezed, "you'll catch flies."

It was at that point that Shouta returned to the room. He glanced around once, took in the guests' various states of amusement, Hitoshi's smug little smile, and Hizashi's exaggerated anguish, then turned on his heel and returned to the kitchen without a word, probably to down another coffee.

His husband just snorted and turned to follow him. "Just for that 'Toshi, you're on your own." The parting grin he sent over his shoulder did nothing to ease Hitoshi's nerves, and he found himself immensely grateful for Nemuri's presence in the room.

That was, until he saw the look she shared with Emi and he realised that perhaps he did not know her as well as he'd thought. Obviously he didn't know her that well, having only met her about a week ago, but of all of his guardians' friends, and all of the staff at school (aside from Hound Dog but it was literally part of his job) she was the one who had made the most effort to get to know him, and he'd spent the most time with her.

However, he had only ever spoken to her around her colleagues or on her own, and he'd always seen her in the context of her work environment. He had never seen her outside of that specific setting.

He was beginning to think that there was a whole different side to her that he was about to meet for the first time. An aspect of her personality that this stranger to Hitoshi, Emi, seemed to exacerbate. They both turned to him, identical grins on their faces as they rested their elbows on the table and their chins on their hands, propping their heads up in an eerily synchronised movement.

"So..." Emi sang, "Hitoshi."

"'Toshi darling." Nem added and he shrank in his seat.

"What's Sho really like... behind closed doors?" He tilted his head in confusion.

"Y'know, when he's not acting all tough and boring and logical."

"We know he's not like that at home because we see how he interacts with 'Zashi. But even as his closest friends we so rarely get to see that side of him."

Hitoshi stared at Emi's wide eyes after she said that, trying to figure out what on earth they were after, and then it clicked: "You want blackmail material," he stated accusingly.

She blinked in surprise and Nemuri turned to her, "I told you he was a smart cookie!"

Emi, in turn, looked delighted. "It's about time, they needed someone with a brain around here!"

"Well you certainly weren't going to provide one." Shouta input from the doorway and Hitoshi snorted.

"I bet our kids would be smart though!"

"Never going to happen."

"They'd be able to make really smart jokes! They'd be smart and funny! Sho can't you see what a perfect combination that is?!"

"Not as perfect as 'Toshi." He muttered under his breath, causing Hitoshi to turn bright red, and Emi to shriek. Hitoshi watched the blood drain from his guardian's already pale face, and he turned to him with an almost fearful look. "Please tell me I did not say that out loud."

Hitoshi's tomato face was enough of an answer and Shouta groaned, running a hand over his face in despair. Emi opened her mouth to say something and Shouta jumped in before she could get a word out, "Dinner's ready, come to the kitchen. Unfortunately, as much as I'd love to know what you were about to say Em, this conversation is gong to have to end here."

They all headed to the kitchen, Shouta deliberately ignoring the quiet 'for now' that followed him.