Running on Empty

Just trying to stay afloat

Online school was... easier than Hitoshi had expected, and he found himself progressing though the days faster than he was supposed to. This often left him with the afternoons free and he started getting to know whoever was in the teachers' lounge at the time, usually because they'd approach him eager to meet 'Aizawa and Yamada's kid'. He'd stopped trying to correct them at this point and had taken to smiling awkwardly.

So far he'd met Snipe, Thirteen, Vlad King and Principal Nedzu, who was without doubt the most intimidating of them all. He'd been very interested in both Hitoshi's quirk and his school work, quizzing him on the topics he was currently looking at, which was one of the most stressful experiences of Hitoshi's life, but the Principal didn't seem phased when he got any answers wrong.

Hitoshi's voice was starting to come back. Hizashi had taken him to his first speech therapy session two days after seeing Recovery Girl, it was... a rollercoaster, but he only had a mild panic attack, so like, it could have been worse.

He'd met his new therapist too, but only in passing. Hound Dog was very nice for someone so gruff, and Hitoshi was approximately 2% less terrified of their meeting that afternoon now that he knew who he was going to be spending the time with. That being said, the closer it got to 1:30 the more trivial that felt compared to the 98% of him which was still dreading this.

Nemuri sat with them again at lunch, she had done every day this week, and it seemed like that was normal. Hitoshi didn't mind, he had his guardians to himself every other mealtime, he could cope with company for one.

She was currently telling them about some second year who had come crashing into her classroom after accidentally falling through his chair and the floor of the room above her, but Hitoshi was having difficulty focussing on the conversation. He could feel himself drifting away, getting caught in the waves of anxiety that were washing over him; he was being pulled further from shore with each push and pull of the tide. Hizashi was laughing in the distance, but it was faint and he couldn't for the life of him remember what had been said that was so funny.

He felt a hand in his and looked down to see Shouta prying his fist open, he relaxed his fingers, and his eyes widened when he saw the red indents his nails had left in his palms. Shouta was frowning, and he was saying something, but Hitoshi was still underwater and he couldn't make out the words.

He felt the hero take him by the arm and then he was being led somewhere. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, this time conscious of his nails digging in, and he latched onto the feeling, grounding himself.

There was a sudden breeze on his face, and he realised that Shouta had taken him to the window. The air was colder here, but it was easier to breath the crisp, fresh air than it was the stuffy, room temperature that filled the rest of the room.

He took a couple of deep breaths and finally felt like his head was above water, he wasn't drowning anymore. Shouta was watching him intently, trying to read his facial expressions. He used the opportunity to relax his hands before the hero noticed and met his eyes.

"You back with me kid?"

He nodded muttering a quiet apology.

"You're worried about therapy?"

Hitoshi looked out the window and shifted uncomfortably, "I'm sure it'll be fine when I get there, it's just... making me nervous."

"That's understandable. It's a pretty daunting prospect, but once you've got through the first session you'll know what to expect, and you know we're not going to force you to keep going if it keeps making you stressed. All we ask is that you give it a go, Hound Dog won't make you talk about anything you don't want to."

"I know."

"You sure you don't want one of us to come with you?"

"It's okay, but thank you." He'd decided to use therapy as a kind of practise for the statement he had to give. To see how he'd cope actually verbalising some of the things he'd experienced. Hopefully Hound Dog would be able to help him get through it and give him some guidance when it comes to dealing with his guardians' reactions; they'd seemed pretty upset every other time the topic had come up, Hizashi especially.

"Okay, well let us know if that changes alright? Hizashi's free this period but if you want me you can just text or call and I'll come meet you."

Hitoshi nodded, and Shouta looked him over one more time before pulling him into a quick hug.

"It's nearly twenty past, so I have to get to class, you've got a little more time and Hizashi said he'd walk you so you don't need to worry about getting lost." He paused laying his hands on Hitoshi's shoulders. "You can do this 'Toshi."

Hitoshi just hugged him again in response and they headed back over to where the others were sat. Nemuri sent him a smile and ruffled his hair as she headed off the her lesson. The lounge emptied quickly, and before long it was just Hizashi and him left.

'Zashi checked his phone for the time and then cleared his throat, "Well kiddo, we should probably start walking."

They stood up and he silently took the hero's hand. Hizashi gave it a squeeze as he led them to the door and Hitoshi leant into him further. He'd take all the comfort he could get to calm his frantic heart.

Within no time at all they were standing outside the guidance counsellor's office and Hizashi was whispering words of encouragement before he reached up and knocked on the door.