No Job, No Car, No Problem!

Big Fish

Finally, my long awaited vacation is here.  I’m on my way to Virginia to visit my friend Elizabeth.  Liz and I moved to San Diego together nearly seven years ago.  After our years of partying she gave up the single life and moved across the nation with her husband Steve and their new son.  As close as we all are, I haven’t had the money or vacation time to visit and therefore haven’t seen them since they got married almost nine months ago, though I will never forget that wedding. 

The wedding was in San Diego, on a boat that cruised around the harbor for the day.  Liz’ whole family came from Virginia to share in the festivities.  All except for the one guy her and her family had wanted me to meet for years.  His name was Rod.  According to everyone there, Rod would be perfect for me…or should I say I’d be perfect for Rod.  He was a year older than me, thrived on working out but enjoyed his share of partying too.  So far so good.  The drawbacks were that he lived in Virginia Beach and couldn’t keep down a job.  Details that could be fixed.  His family was convinced that once I met him, it would be love at first sight.  Hence, I would move to Virginia and be a part of not only Liz’ new family but also Rod’s.  Their rather large expectations were seeded in the back of my mind, by Rod’s very own parents.  But he couldn’t even make it to the wedding.  Was I getting my hopes up because I liked his parents?  Perhaps I was feeling the anticipation of actually having a wedding date.  I had to remember that despite loving his family, plus Liz, I hadn’t even met the guy! 

Now on my way to Virginia, I’m excited; secretly looking forward to meeting the guy everyone is convinced will sweep me off my feet.  Its Memorial Day weekend and I have finally arrived to Virginia Beach.  Liz tells me we are heading to be a beach party that is being held in my honor.  “And what are we honoring?”  I inquire. 

“Give me a break Jenny.  Rod’s parents fell in love with you at our wedding.  In fact, they constantly ask how you are and if you are dating anyone.  They have this plan to hook you up with Rod.  And honestly, I think you may actually like him.”  This should be interesting.  Liz definitely knows my type, having been my roommate for four years and friend since forever ago.  But Liz also wants me married off so badly that I fear she would set me up with just about anyone. 

I giggle nonchalantly, “Hmmm, we’ll just have to see if you are all right.”  I already know I won’t have any interest in this guy.  Yes, I absolutely adored his parents but there isn’t any chance of me also doting on their only son.  Besides, did this family live in a completely unrealistic world?  Rod lives across the country.  He doesn’t have a job.  I wonder if he drives.  Better yet, I haven’t even found out where he lives.  He could still be bumming off his parents for all I know.  Still, why take any chances?  I race to the guest room and ream myself into my new bathing suit that pushes up my boobs and off my belly button.  Stuffing myself then into a short black mini skirt, I top the outfit off with matching visor and large hoop earrings.  I apply a dash of blush to my cheeks, pull my hair back into a crazy but cute, curly pony tail and finally put on my new, Paris Hilton style sunglasses.  There, I think gazing into the mirror.  I can’t quite see my waist line since my stomach is gaping out over my skirt but I’m sure I an just bloated from traveling all day.  I step back to see my whole body in the full length mirror.  From the waist up I look pretty good, but looking down…well why do I have to have thigh caps and cankles?  It’s like every part of my leg is one ligament too low!  Oh well, my confidence will improve with a few beers. 

“You ready Jenny?” Liz calls from downstairs.

“Coming,” I yell prancing down in my sequined platform flip flops.

“Whoa!” Liz says, standing back, nodding approvingly.  “This outfit is great!  Who you wearing this for?  Us?  Thanks Jenny.” Liz turns away laughing, shaking her head back and forth.