Random: (Zayn Malik fanfic)

Chapter 6

It's been 3 days since I bought my plane tickets with the little money I gathered. I'm suppose to be headed off in about 2 days. Still, nobody knows except Tracy. She's actually quite angry with me. Which I understand. I'd be angry too, but I can't let it stop me. It'll be what's best for Jade, Zayn and me.

At the moment, Zayn and I are walking around the shops, hand in hand. I don't get the tingly feeling I should when he kisses me or holds me hand. Instead, I feel pushed. Like I have to do it. I want to love Zayn when I want too, not because I have too. It's almost as if Zayn just wants to be in a relationship because of Jade. It bugs me, hurts me, practically. Maybe he loves me, I'll give him that, but I can't just keep thinking that everything will work out eventually.

I was drawn out of my thoughts when I felt a soft tug on my hand. "Babe, you alright?"

I nodded and took another sip of my coffee, pulling my jumper closer to my chest. The weather dropped dramatically and I just wasn't prepared. I had my suitcases of clothes stashed away in my closet. I'm paying for a hotel, with the help of Tracy, until I get on my feet with a job. Tracy hates the idea, but she said she'll always help me. It's almost Zayn's birthday. Tomorrow, to be exact, and I'm leaving the day after. I still can't wrap my head around as to why I am leaving, but I am. I have too.

We stopped at yet another shop, him pulling me into it. He insists that because he didn't buy me anything for my birthday, he needs to get me something. I've been denying everything he throws my way. I can't make him buy me something when I plan to secretly leave.

I'm so damn selfish.

"What about this, Ray?" He pointed to a beautiful pair of Chanel boots. I can almost imagine wearing those whilst in New York. They're pure brilliance and practically shined in the window.

"No," I said plainly.

"Okay, Raven. Something's wrong," he persisted, dragging me out of the shop. I practically got onto my knees as I left, thanking the lord that I was away from those beautiful boots.

"Nothing's wrong, Zayn. I just want to go home and see Jade," I lied. I mean, of course I want to see Jade. I just don't want him to be forcing all of these amazing gifts in my face, only to be turned down because of my secret plan.

"Fine," he muttered, tighting his grip on my hand as we made our way back to his car.

The entirety of the car ride was silent, so far. The only noise being the hum of the engine. We weaved our way through the crowded streets, only to be caught behind a large traffic jam. He shifted in his seat, his right arm leaning on the window and his left placed lazily on the steering wheel. I couldn't help but see the firmness of his jaw line and it immediately giving me butterflies. I still have feelings for him and always will, but I can't let those get in my way.

I reached over and rubbed the back of my hand on his cheek. He jumped a bit at the surprise touch, causing me to giggle a bit. "Jesus, Ray. You scared the shit out of me!" He spat, a laugh threatening to spill out of his lips.

"Sorry!" I said inbetween giggles. His face turned towards me again, his eyes setting on mine as we wait for the light to turn green.

"You're beautiful," he whispered, rubbing my knee with his thumb. I smiled sheepishly. "I'm so grateful you're mine."

Damn it. Here comes the guilt.

*Next night*

"Happy Birthday, Zayn!" Everybody cheered as we entered the bar. Zayn laughed loudly and raised our entwined hands up in the air.

Many different people, famous and not, came up to Zayn, screaming 'Happy Birthday' over the blasting music. We had a "family day" with Jade earlier, spending yet another afternoon hidden away in my flat. Zayn claims it's relaxing, but I know he wishes he could do more with her.