Not So Complicated

Chapter eighteen

Carmen's POV

It had been two days since I had heard from Arlo. Or his brother. Or Dan.

That was because I had never left my room for the entire weekend. I was holed up in my bed with my laptop snuck inside my warmer, catching up with my family, after what felt like ages.

I had minimal conversation with Esme, only when I had been to the kitchen to grab some Enchiladas.

The entire of the weekend felt weird, because neither Arlo nor Dan came over, like they usually did, or we didn't hang out at the supermarket to buy snacks. It was actually weird. It was weirder that Arlo threw a fit on me, for some unknown reason and never texted me once, not even once, during the weekend. That got me a little upset, wondering why he did that.

For someone who texted me everyday for some damn dumb reason or sending a lame meme, it was frustrating to live with the fact that he was MIA for two whole days.

Consumed by these thoughts, I absent mindedly continued watching Mindhunter on Netflix, sprawled on my bed, late in the noon on a sunday.

My train of thought was disrupted when my phone started ringing and it was Esme, who was trying hard to get me out of my bed.

"Come on in, cousin."

She rolled her eyes as soon as she entered into my room, seeing how lethargic I had been for the entire weekend and she was slightly irked by how I had maintained a minimal conversation schedule with her for two days.

"Hey. Listen. Please don't tell me you're still mad at Arlo for what he did? Is that why you cut yourself from me for these two days as well?" She questioned me.

Her question was valid, but I wasn't sure if I was still legit mad at Arlo or I was just in a bad mood.

"I don't know, Esme. I'm still so confused and angry with Arlo for what he did. It makes me so angry and makes me want to shout at him so bad. That anger is so pent up inside of me and I didn't want to take it out on you, so I was holed up and not talking to anyone. It also has put me in a very bad mood and I'm actually mindlessly watching something that I don't even know the plot about. Ughhh this is driving me crazy."

"Arlo's here and he wants to speak with you, I wanted to give you a heads up. And also, you can shout at him, you know? Just yell it out and get it over with. Bye." She exhaled and left even before I could digest whatever she told.

My anger was through the roof, but I had a cold expression on my face. As much as it had annoyed me that Arlo hadn't texted me or spoken to me over the weekend, I wasn't ready to face him with all that anger built up inside my gut. Esme did mention that I can shout and vent it out but I didn't know how much I'd succeed in keeping my anger in. 

And he actually tip toes into my room, peeping before entering. He has a question mark written all over his face.

"Hi." He quietly said and warily made his way towards me.

I was still under my warmer, glaring daggers at him, not sure if I had to reply. He shove his hands in his pockets, unaware of what to say next, because I hadn't replied.

"Can we talk?" He finally blurted out, without his facial expression changing.

"Now you want to talk to me?"

"Yeah, I want to explain."

"Explain what?"

"Why I-"

"Why you snapped at me for no fucking reason? And ghosted me for the entire weekend and successfully managed to annoy me to such an extent that my mood is completely ruined? Super. You've accomplished your goal. Would you like a donut?" I drily stated.

"Hey. I am sorry, okay? I wasn't in the right state of mind and I was extremely annoyed at someone who had kept secrets from me and I just couldn't shake that thought of them being able to keep it a secret from me-"

"So you decided to take it out on me by snapping at me and ghosting me for the entire weekend-"

"If I remember correctly, didn't you do the same thing when you had Flint's thing going on in your head and you didn't feel like yourself?"

"Do you remember me snapping at you for it? Do you fucking remember it? Tell me Arlo, tell me. And I didn't ghost only you, I was taking a time out from everyone, including Esme and Dan. I barely spoke with my own family and it wasn't the only thing, okay? I have mirror touch synesthesia and Esme had diagnosed me with that, I was processing that as well and during that time, I was not only ghosting you, if that's what you want to call it, I hadn't spoken to others as well. I was maintaining minimal conversations with them because ghosting is not nice, Arlo Diez. Ghosting is never nice. I'm not telling you that whatever I did was right, in spite of having those things on my mind, I did NOT stop talking to just you, I was trying to calm the mess down in my mind and I did talk to everyone, if I remember correctly." 

By the time I finish my monologue, I was standing in front of him, tilting my head up to meet his eyes, without me being aware of it. I was standing dangerously close to him, I could feel the heat between our bodies.

"Don't you dare fucking think that you can intimidate me by getting so close to my face." He mellowed and I realized that he looked breathtakingly handsome. And his eyes. Oh my, he had gorgeous brownish green eyes.

I stood there counting the light and brown spots in his eyes, truly getting lost and slightly forgetting the fact that I was yelling at him a few minutes ago.

What is happening to me? Focus, Carmen. 

"I never thought that for one second, you stupid-"

"Stupid what, huh?" He whispered and inched closer to me, causing my heart to pick up the pace. 

"Stay away from me." I sneered and took a step back.

"Or what?" He asked me, just to spite me, totally aware of the fact that I was mad at him, but went that extra mile anyway.

"Fuck. Off." I gritted my teeth hard and turned away, hoping he'd walk away and leave me alone.

"Carmen, listen to me."

There was a moment of silence, which is why I assumed that he'd left.

"Carmen, listen to me, please." He spoke again.

For some reason, I was relieved that he hadn't left, it felt like a huge wave of relief washed over me. What was happening to me, I couldn't quite figure or point out to one particular emotion that was dominant. It was all emotions at once.

I suddenly felt strong arms around my stomach, in a very firm yet gentle manner and the grip gradually tightens, only then I realize that Arlo is hugging me to himself. My back is supported by his torso which is slightly pressed onto my back, my head delicately against a set of rock hard abs. He bent down a little to reach my ear, his warm breath brushing against my ear lobe. 

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. And I mean it, Carmen."

And just like that, I lost my anger and rage.

Holy smokes.

I like him.

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