Help?

𝐌aybe theyre ok without me

Now that I think of it, I was never included in any activities. 

I recently found out I'm not even following Kenmas main Instagram account.  It was a random spam one that he barely posted on.

I'm not sure how I didn't catch on to that earlier, but hooray I guess.

As I'm walking out of school I see a group of kids following me. I know exactly what they want and start speeding up hoping they choose not to follow me.

But I was wrong.

They catch up and surround me.
"Hey y/n," Ayaka the leader of the group says.

"Can I help you?" I ask trying to not look obvious as I look for a small exit in their little human ring.

"Well since we're such good friends I was wondering if you could help with the project."

"I thought you partnered up with Jiro?"

"Well yeah, but we need help," she pouted, slightly pushing out her bottom lip.

Normally that move would've made anyone submit to her wishes. But I was used to this.

"Fuck off you useless piece of shit," I respond with pushing pass her group.

For some reason it's not the fact that I insulted her that made her mad, it's the fact I refused do her work.

So they pulled me back by my shirt collar and started beating me. There were too many, so I couldn't do anything, all I could do was curl up into a ball and pray to not have brain damage.

Since it wasn't on school grounds, they weren't going to get in trouble. Even if a teacher saw this happening, they can't do much about it.

But then someone walks past. Thankfully it was Kenma.

"Kenma! Please, help me!" I called out. Ayaka and her friends turned to see who I was calling out to.

Kenma first looked at Ayaka, whose eyes were daring him to tell someone. Then he looked at me, covered in dirt and bruises.

He seemed stuck, debating whether to help me or not, before he suddenly snapped out of his trance and slunk away.

"Looks like your lover man, doesn't care," one of the girls said, making them all laugh. Kicking me once more, Ayaka looked down at me before leaving.

I rolled onto my back to look at the sky.

I wanted to scream, cry, ask why my life is like this. But I couldn't get the feelings out. All I could wonder was why Kenma wouldn't help me.

After a few minutes I stood up with a sigh and went home. Luckily I brought my jacket today, so I put it on.

It covered the bruises on my arms that would've been on my head. The scars that people noticed but never questioned. And the pain I can never let go of.

༄༄༄༄༄

"Y/n I want you to put on this outfit, people are coming over," mom said tossing a random outfit over.

It was a polo collared shirt and some jeans.

Not my usual fashion, but I didn't have a choice. After putting it on, I remained in my room. I had no intention of socializing.

I heard the doorbell ring and voices in the main hall and knew the guests had arrived. But I still remained here.

After a while, I grew bored. Not the bored where you want to talk to people, but hungry bored.

I slowly opened the door and tip-toed out, trying not to make a noise. I heard the conversation my parents were having.

"Didn't you say your child was around," one lady said.

"Oh no, they said they had somewhere to be," mother said. She obviously knew I was home, and expected me not to embarrass her. But being hungry is a human function I cannot control.

I slowly made my way over to the cupboards and opened it slowly to get a bottle of water and chips. When suddenly I heard loud voices right behind me.

It was dad and his friend. They were laughing boisterously as I tried to slide past. The friend noticed me unfortunately and caught a glimpse of my bruised arms, which were exposed due to the short sleeves of the polo.

"What happened here?" He asked.

From behind I could see my dad giving the faintest glare. "O-oh it's nothing, I just tripped down the stairs," i said backing up slowly.

"Must have been one hell of a fall," the man said laughing turning away from me to continue his conversation.

As I look behind me to make sure that they aren't following, I'm suddenly standing in front of some lady.

'Maybe I should've stayed in my room and starved,' I thought to myself.

"Hey m/n, I thought you said your child wasn't at home?" The lady said.

My mother tensed trying to think of an excuse. "Oh, maybe she got back early," she said.

It was a really awkward conversation. The lady asking y/n about school. And their mom being mad that y/n was telling the truth.

"Oh gosh, what happened to your arm?" The lady asked. She grabbed their arm and started examining the bruises.

"Oh I- " y/n hesitated telling the lady. They didn't want to be sent to an orphanage. "-I fell down the stairs,"

"Hm, I'm not sure what kind of fall gets you these bruises, but take it easy ok?" You nod and leave to head to your room. When the look back their mom imitates a knife cutting their throat with their thumb.

As soon as the door to their room closes, they silently scream.
'At least I got the chips' they think to themself.

Around this time last year, I would've texted Kenma for comfort.

He hasn't blocked me, but he doesn't make an effort to even read my messages. It's as if he as blocked me.

Maybe I've been blocked by everyone, and they hate the fact that I'm still here.

What would it be like without me?
Well I am me, so I can't tell
But I feel like a rag doll right now