Help?

𝐈n my heart

Kenma's POV

I shove my umbrella into my backpack. The forecast says that it'll  rain today. The clouds hang low in the sky with a gray tint. Good to be prepared.

Im not sure if it's because of something I said, but y/n had been a little distant. Maybe just a little, sad?
My eyes linger on their figure as they head to the backyard.

I push my curiosity to that back of my head as a sling my bag over my shoulders and head to school.

Kuroo meets me at the stop light and we continue together.

"Kenma, are you interested in anyone?" He asks me. I look over at him confused. I'd never assumed he was..

"We haven't hung out much anymore so I just wanted to catch up," he said.

"Oh, well I think so?" I say.

I haven't fully come to terms with my feelings. Considering how odd it is. After all, I was in a relationship at one point. You'd think that someone in a relationship would understand their feelings?

"Tell me about them," he says.

I pause to think. They're not sunshine and rainbows, they aren't what some would call a shot of espresso. They were more like a cloudy day, with a nice breeze. Or a dandelion that you wish on, or a morning dew on grass. Not the sunny things, but still things that you love to see.

My mouth goes dry when they come around. I suddenly forgot what to talk about. My heart pounds, and my hands get sweaty. If I didn't like them I'd think I'd have a disease.

But I'm not telling Kuroo that. Being embarrassed is not something on my bucket list for the day.

"It's complicated," I say.

As we're nearing the school gates, it's starts to rain. A very hard drizzle. I take a deep breath before taking off for the school, Kuroo is right behind me.

After we make it inside, we both pause to catch our breaths. Despite being an athlete, I put my hands on my hips to hold myself up as I head to the shoe locker.

'Running wasn't much of a struggle up until a few months ago' I thought to myself as I watched the download get heavier.

Thinking back to the day after y/n first showed up at my house. I was in P.e and was running around the track with Kuroo.

~~

I don't put too much effort into days on the track unless there is a time limit for the activity. So for this one I was doing a light jog.

"C'mon Kenma, you're really gonna go that slow?" Kuroo teased.

Huffing between breaths I say, "I don't see how this concerns you," I never understand how someone can run and talk at the same time.

"By the way, why was the police at your house yesterday," he asks.

I hesitate before answering , not only because it's embarrassing to call the police for a silly reason, but also because talking and running isn't an easy thing to do for someone like me.

"It was a misunderstanding, don't worry about it," I said before picking up the pace. I knew Kuroo could pace with me even if I was sprinting. But this way he takes the hint I don't want to talk about it.

~~~

My flashback ends when the bell rings , and I head to class. I think about how everyone I knew could always take a hint. Like when I needed help, when I wanted to be left alone, etc.

Y/n could pick up the pieces very easily. So why can't they tell I still like them? At this point I should consider it love because for the past 2 months I couldn't get them off my mind.

I have only one month left until my parents come back and I'm not sure if I'll see y/n again after that. I need to tell them I love them. At least before I regret not doing so.

That's what I repeatedly tell myself as I walk home.
'I'm gonna do it, this is the day,"

But I walk in and see y/n in Suna's arms on the couch with Shrek playing. In that moment I realize 2 things that I forgot.

One, that they have a boyfriend and has moved on from our past relationship. And two, that I've let go of something I never knew I'd want back.

All this loving, thinking,
regretting, jealousy and
for what? What did I gain
In the end from loving you?
I don't know, but I don't think
I'll stop to regret that