All This Time I Have Been Yours

"June 1"

May is almost done, meaning the locked in taping will end soonest

They changed location from Tanay to Quezon City for a few scenes just to imitate his scenes from the original PUTO movie of him.

He also know that Kris will be back in Manila on the third week of May, shes just waiting for the paperworks to finish

"Can I drive you home?"

he ask when he visit her again in Pampanga

"No ok na kami na lang" she refused

"You sure?"

"Yeah"

-----
June 2

"Ayos ah, buti pa si Vice Governor at Atty. nadalaw ka na"

She woke up with this message from Herbert, she ignored the message, instead call Jane to get her coffee

"Kape mo" he said when he entered the room. Her room

"Why are you here?"

"Bawal na ba kong pumunta dito? Bakit? Dahil may ineentertain ka ng iba?"

"Herbert dont start, please.. wala ako sa mood makipag away"

"Mag usap tayo. Hindi ako mang aaway" he said in a calm tone

"Bakit ba ang kulit mo? Hiwalay na tayo diba? Ano pa bang hinahabol mo?"

"Bernadette hindi ako to. Hindi ako ganitong klase ng tao.. pero sobra naman na to"

"Ano bang sobra sayo? Diba i told you to leave me na.. I did nit ask you to visit me sa Pampanga.. ikaw ang punta ng punta" her voice is raising

"Dont raise your voice, hindi ako nakikipag away sayo. Yes I know and I understand that you ask for space.. i gave it to you diba? Kaya naman ako napunya ng Pampanga is because I want to make sure na ok ka"

"Eh bakit mo sinusumbat sakin ngayon?"

"Hindi ako nanunumbat, sinasabi ko lang na akala ko ok tayo"

"Just your thought" she rolled her eyes

"Bernadette tapatin mo nga ako, bukod sa message ni Athena may ibang dahilan ba kung bakit ka nakikipaghiwalay? Dont give me the Political excuse"

She did not response

"Hindi mo na ba talaga ako mahal?"

Still no response from her

"Bernadette kausapin mo ko, huwag namang ganito.. ano bang gusto mo? Grabe naman yung ginagawa mo eh, sinabi ko sayo noon pa huwag mong ientertain yang si Mark, anong ginawa mo? Nakipag dinner ka, pinost mo pa? Para saan? Para isampal sakin na wala na ko sa buhay mo? Why do ypu keep on doing this?"

"I dont have to explain myself to you. You are now part of my past, I dont need to ask for your permission para sa mga gusto komg padalawin sa bahay ko"

"Really? you're this desperate para lumayo na ko sayo? Bakit? Mahal mo na ba sya? Masaya ka na ba sa kanya? Bakit? Dahil sya ipinagyayabang ka nya sa buong social media na "getting to know each other na kayo? Dahil proud na proud sya sayo?" His voice is starting to raise

"Dont raise your voice at me, nasa bahay kita!"

"Ayan ba ang relationship na gusto mo? Yung gawin kang trophy girlfriend? Yung ----"

"You want to know why I dont want to be with you anymore? Sige sasabihin ko lahat!"

She faced him

"Sobrang dami ko ng isinakripisyo para sayo Herbert, nawalan ako ng career dahil sayo, kung hindi ka umatras sa movie na gagawin sana natin hindi ako na broken hearted, I would've not extend my vacation and signed my contracts if I werent need some time to heal, yes I am blaming you for what happened, and because of you I need to sell my house in QC dahil i want to runaway from love,  dahil pag nag stay ako dun I know that you will bother me from time to time, and because of you..." her tears starts to fall

"Because of you I cannot go on with my life, you know why? Dahil mahal na mahal kita! I believed in us pero paulit ulit ang mga nangyayari, walang patutunguhan to! So I decided if I try to make friends with others siguro matutunan kong kumawala na sayo.. I want to go on with my life without you na, I am trying pero you keep on pestering me, because of what? Your ego? Hindi mo ko kayang makitang may kasamang iba? Fuck your ego Herbert!"

"Akala ko kinakatakot mong dumating yung araw na sisihin kita kung sakaling matalo ako sa politika, ikaw pala ang may sama ng loob sa akin.. ganyan ka na kagalit sakin andami ko na palang atraso sayo di ko pa alam.. bakit di mo sinabi noon pa?"

"Wala ka namang magagawa eh"

She smirk

"Meron. Edi sana noon pa ko lumayo, para naman di ko sana nasira ang buhay mo"

"Dont use your self pity tactics again"

"I just want to clear na hindi ego ang pinapairal ko dito. Respeto Kris, respeto. Anong mararamdaman mo kung gawin ko sayo yang ginagawa mo sakin? Ilang beses mo ng ginawa sakin to? Im not reacting sa mga pagpapahiyang ginagawa mo sakin sa social media, ilang beses kong paulit ulit na pinapatunayan at inaassure ka na mahal kita, pero you keep on pushing me..Why? Nag rerevenge ka because of what I did before na umatras ako sa kasal? 7 taon Kris 7 taon, itatapon mo dahil grabe yung galit mo sakin? Hindi mo man lang nakita yung mga efforts ko para mapatunayan ko ng paulit ulit sayo na ikaw ang mahal ko, ikaw lang ikaw lagi at ikaw.. 7 years binago ko yung buhay ko para sayo, ni isang babae wala kang naging kahati sakin, kahit on and off tayo, im so sorry If I were to blame of what happened sa career mo, hindi ko alam, or maybe hindi ko pinansin nga kaya umabot ka sa ganito, patawarin mo ko"

The room were silent for a moment

Kris didnt know what to say anymore, she was shocked too of all the blaming that she did to Herbert she doesnt mean anything about her career and the house.. shes just out of reasons to convinced Herbert that she doesnt love him anymore, but she still do

"Im sorry for ruining your life, gusto ko lang na malaman mo na hindi ko intensyong sirain ang buhay mo.."

He scratch his head, look down

"gusto ko lang mahalin ka hanggang sa huling hininga ko, gusto ko lang sana na makasama kang tumanda at makasama kang panoorin ang mga anak natin na lumaki, gusto ko sanang ikaw yung kahawak kamay ko kapag hindi ko na kayang tumayo habang nagkakape sa balkonahe ng bahay natin, tulad ng madalas nating gawin noon, gusto ko lang naman na araw araw kong iparamdam sayo na ikaw ang pinili ko over everything at araw araw kong pipiliin hanggang sa mamatay ako.. ikaw sana yung gusto kong magdala ng apelyido ko na kahit kanino hindi ko ibinigay.. Pero baka nga, baka tama ka.. baka di nga talaga tayo para sa isat isa, baka nga pinipilit ko na lang kumapit.. at baka dumating na yung kinatatakutan ko na ikaw na mismo yung sumuko, im sorry kung pinagod ko ang puso mo.. pero sana malaman mo Bernadette, wala akong ibang ginawa kundi ang mahalin ka lang, at sana kapag isang araw maisip mo ko, sana dumating ka sa punto ng realization na hindi lang ako ang nagpabaya satin, pareho lang tayo.. kung nasaktan ka.. nasaktan din ako" he sobs

And so she is

"Im sorry" she said in between her sniffs

"I am letting you go, huwag mong hayaang saktan ka ng susunod mong mamahalin ha, kasi pag nabalitaan ko... babawiin kita"

They both smile, eyes were both red after crying

He looked at her straight in the eyes, wiped her tears

"Can I kiss you for the last time?"

She nods

He kissed her on the forehead longer, no one wants to let go, both were crying again, Kris held him closer as possible, her sobs broke when Herbert wrap his arms around her..

"At sa pagbawi ng tadhana, masakit mang magpalaya.. doon ako kung san ka sasaya, kung san ka malaya..
Salamat sa sakit, salamat sa saglit
Akoy di magsisisi
Kahit di ka na sa akin
Kung bukas man ako ay lilingon
Makikita sa tabi
Na minsay sandali kang naging
"Akin"
-Saglit
Moira
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