Tranquilize Me (A Mötley Crüe Story)

9.

Eating disorder help:

(713) 942-4100 (council on bulimia and anorexia recovery)

(201) 624-8937 (support for eating disorders)

(203) 724-9070 (helping a loved one with an eating disorder)

www.nationaleatingdisorders.org

If you have more sources please put them in the comments.

Tommy Lee

"Where's Anderson with the fucking saline?" I ask, rubbing my arm.

I'm actually in hell. My brain is racing but at the same time, everything seems to be in slow motion. My chest is thumping, and it feels like it's about to explode. God I'm gonna fucking die in this place.

"Mmmm...not sure." Nikki replies, looking up from a book he borrowed from our "library".

" God I just need some relief, or- or a distraction... Some-so-something to make it...less...whats the word?" I mumble, turning on my side to look at him.

Nikkis head snaps up from the book he's reading and he slowly closes it, folding a corner over to keep his spot. He turns toward me, and gives me a small half smile as he unfolds himself from the two chairs he was sitting in and bounds over to me, looking a lot like an over excited puppy. "You up for a little...fun?" He mumbles, ghosting a hand over my hand.

"I'm not in the mood for sex." I sigh, sitting up weakly.

"That's okay, can I still lay with you?" Nikki asks.

I really want his company, plus I love how warm he always is. I nod and scoot myself over, careful not to bend my arm too much and set my IV beeping. Nikkis smile is infectious, and I give him a small smile in return, still feeling like my whole body is on fire. He's so different from my last boyfriend.

"Are- are you sure you're okay with not having sex right now? My ex, he would always push for sex. Like all the time even though I was scared. I would make up excuses and then he would get fucking pissed and call me ugly and fat and all sorts of shit-" My rambling is cut off by Nikki kissing my forehead and grabbing my arm softly.

I nod, smiling as I cuddle into his warm body, nestling my head under his fluffy, soft hair and letting my lips graze against his neck. Nikki squirms his arm under me and connects his arms around my waist. The exhaustion is getting the better of my pain, and I finally start to fall asleep.

Sometime in the middle of the night, I'm sharply jostled. I open my eyes and see Nikki thrashing beside me, whimpering and growling at something. "Nikki. Nikki. Baby....NIKKI!" I finally yell, violently shaking him.

Nikkis head snaps back against the side of the bed and he opens his eyes, groaning and trying to push himself away. I sit up slightly and look at his shaking form. His eyes are filled with tears and he furrows his brow at me.

"Nikki what's wrong?" I ask, moving to sit up farther but laying down immediately as a wave of dizziness and nausea crashes over me.

"Nothing. It was just a nightmare." Nikki says quickly, wiping his eyes.

"Oh." I reply, shakily reaching out to him to invite him back into bed.

"Nah I don't think I'm gonna lay back down. Tommy I'm just going to- um- walk around." Nikki mumbles, starting to get up.

"Okay, if you're sure man." I groan, falling back and trying to ignore the fact that the painful burning is back, this time in my chest.
As the minutes go on, I start to feel worse and worse. Who knew Anorexia could doI unhook my pulse-ox and remove everything because they all start beeping.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" Nikki gasps, turning around.

"Taking a piss man." I answer, wobbling on my unsteady legs as I push open the bathroom door.

"Need help?" Nikki asks, practically hovering over me.

"Dude I'll be right out. Quit fucking worrying." But the thing is, I wasn't right out.

My head is pounding, the dizziness seems to be dragging me to the floor, and the burning from my chest has spread into my arms. My vision is closing in, and I hit the ground before I'm able to sit down.

Nikki Sixx

The second I hear the loud thud, I run into the bathroom. Tommy is laying on the floor, legs crumpled under him, and he's not awake. For a solid 45 seconds I have no idea what to do, so I just stand there. I can't snap out of it, and my mind is just blank as I stare at the horrifying scene before me.

'Hey Dumbass' my brain whispers 'maybe you should call the fucking nurses you absolute fuckwad.'

"Yeah, yeah thats a good idea." I mumble to myself, managing to get my feet over to the one second emergency call button.

The second I hit the button, my brain reboots itself. It finally hits me that Tommy may be dead, and I skid across the bathroom and kneel by the toilet, looking at his lifeless form. His body is ice cold, and I resist the urge to cringe as I see the blood coming from under him. He must've broken something.

"Tommy?" I ask, panic starting to rise in my chest.

He's not answering, he doesn't even move. The uncontrollable urge to scream is building deep in my lungs as my brain starts to race. The world seems to dull, my vision becoming blurry, everything overwhelming me. I can't think of anything else but Tommy, and it's all so overwhelming. This is the second time in 3 days, and it's becoming glaringly obvious that I may actually lose the boy I'm falling in love with.

"GET HIM AWAY, GET TOMMY ON THE BED NOW!" Doctors shout, as I'm jerked away from Tommy and held down.

My fight or flight response kicks in. I panic when touched or fought or held down. It just reminds me of all the abuse I endured as a kid, and actually still do endure. I've already lost all control of my emotions, and my brain has been snapped in half, so I just go berserk.

I fist fight two of the nurses, swinging my arm at one of them and kicking back at the other as they approach me yet again. "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LET ME BEEEE?!" I shriek, throwing myself against the counter in a desperate attempt to escape the restraints.

"He's not helping." Dr. Anderson notes, as they get the defibrillator.

"He's been pulseless for two minutes Anderson." An assistant says.

"Page cardio, they may know what to do, for now, lets just get his pulse back."

I stop screaming long enough to hear them say that, and then glance at Tommy. I'm immediately thrown into a bigger panic. The only thing I need right now is to be with him, and these bastards are trying to take it from me.

"Nikki!" A nurse yells, right before stabbing me in the neck with something.

The last thing I hear before the tranquilizer hits my bloodstream is: "still nothing!"

A/N: i'm so glad for the positive feedback I've recieved on Tranquilize Me! I love you guys!!