The Secret - Camren

Part 12

I was frozen there my shirt on backwards. My roommates stared me down as I stood there in complete shock. The girls didn't move either as Camila ran past them. After a moment I came back to my senses, fixed my shirt and ran after a crying Camila.

When I pushed past Maia who still hadn't said anything since walking in on us. I found the hallway empty. Shit where did she go! I started running down every hallway frantically searching for the girl I had started falling for.

I finally found her sitting in the far corner of an empty hallway. She was sitting on this small leather couch her head in her hands. I could see her shoulders shake as I got closer to the small, fragile figure. I sat down next to her in the small space and placed my hand on her back. The moment I made contact she shrugged me off, sobs escaping her lips. I tried again and this time didn't move when she tried to get farther away from me.

"Camz..." I began but was cut off by her rambling.

"They can't know. No one can know. He'll find out. OMG SOPHIE!" she said and started to cry hysterically. I scouted closer to her and began rubbing her back trying to give her any form of comfort.

"Baby... what's going on? It isn't that bad, I'm sure they won't tell anyone. We'll talk to them okay?" I tried calming her down.

"No he's going to find out again. This can't be happening. I promised her I wouldn't for her for me. He's going to find out. LOLO HE CAN'T FIND OUT!" she said before barring her head in my shoulder and sobbing. I couldn't make out anything she was saying but I would occasionally hear "he's going to find out". She seemed to be repeating it over and over again. Who was this "He" she was talking about? Could it have something to do with her parents and the reason they don't live with them anymore? Probably not. She wasn't mentioning a woman in her rambles.

"Camzi... who's he?" I tried asking. She lifted her head and looked into my eyes. She seemed so hurt and confused. I could tell she was fighting with something underneath those beautiful brown locks. She seemed to be trying to decide whether or not to tell me. She lowered her head just as I was about to repeat my question and shook her head.

"I'm sorry Lolo, I promised I wouldn't talk about it and I can't break my promise to her not after what I've put her through" she said as fresh tears gently made their way down her cheeks.

"Camila please" I started pleading. I needed to know what was bothering her so much. Things always seemed to come back to this promise and whatever secret she was keeping from everyone, from me.

"Lolo, please, not now... maybe one day but I can't right now." She said never meeting my eyes. I just nodded in response not wanting to push her too far. I pulled her towards me and she rested her head on my shoulder and wrapped her small shaking arms around my waist. We stayed there for what could have been hours when Maia and Kelsey found us. They came to let us know we were leaving in a few minutes and that we might want to get ready.

I thanked them and as we walked back I asked them to keep things secret, that we weren't ready for people to know just yet. They seemed to understand and promised not to tell but I didn't know them that well. For all I know it would be around school the second we got back.

Camila wasn't speaking to anyone and refused to touch me in any way. I really hope she was going to be okay soon. I hated seeing her so scared and out of it. Whatever was bothering her was big and I really needed to get to the bottom of it and soon. How was I supposed to protect her if she wouldn't tell me what I had to protect her against? I really did not like seeing her in so much pain. I couldn't help feeling responsible for her pain. I should have made sure the door was bolted or something so she wouldn't be in this situation. People already knew I was a lesbian at school but for some reason she didn't want to be out yet. I didn't understand why since she had told me she was out already. Everything about this was so confusing. I calmed down my rambling as I put on my snow gear and followed Camila and the girls downstairs to meet the rest of our group.

We all got on the bus in the same spots we had been on the drive up. I was hoping to get Camila to talk a little more about what had happened but I was afraid she wouldn't react as well as I would like. When the bus started moving I tried to take her hand that was resting in her lap. She pulled away a little but I took it anyways. She tried looking out the window but I took her chin with my free hand and forced her to look at me.

"Camz look, I really don't know what's going on with you but I like you, a lot and I don't want whatever it is to affect our relationship, or well what I hope might turn into a relationship..." I said but was cut off by Camila covering my mouth with her own hand.

"Lolo I know it's hard on you. I wish I could explain everything but I have a really dark past and I'm not about to put that on you. I don't want you getting involved with it. You have enough to deal with in your own family you don't need my drama to go with it. Believe me all I'm doing is protecting you from my horrible, horrible past" she said intently.

"Camz I can take it, whatever it is, I'm strong enough to take whatever you throw at me. I want to protect you. You have so much to deal with too; your past shouldn't have to haunt you like it is. You don't need to do it on your own." I explained trying to make her see that I really cared and I would do anything I could to protect her.

"I will tell you, just not here, not on this trip alright?" she said resting her head on my shoulder. I nodded and closed my eyes.

"Hey Lauren?" she whispered against my cheek.

"Yeah Camz?" I answered opening my eyes to find she was looking at me only inches away.

"I want it to be a relationship too" she said just as softly resting her lips against mine, setting my heart speeding a mile a minute. Did she just say what I think she did? Did she just say she wants to be a couple? When she pulled away I could feel myself staring at her with huge surprised eyes. She backed away more and giggled at my funny expression.

"Lauren Michelle Jauregui will you be my girlfriend?" she asked a huge smile spreading across her face. I was shocked. I never thought this would happen after the way she reacted earlier in the day. This was so out of the blue.

I must have been taking too long to answer because her happy expression was soon replaced by a worried and insecure one. Seeing her now hurt expression I nodded my head, leaned forward and whispered yes against her lips before taking them between mine one more time before the bus stopped at the snack shack where we would be having dinner.

I hadn't noticed we were stopped at first. I was too concentrated on the way Camila was looking back at me. She seemed so happy. Her eyes had a light in them I had never seen before. It might be the Canadian sunshine that was making her so glowie but I wanted to take some of the credit for making her look so happy.

She was particularly stunning in this moment. Her hair was framing her soft cheeks perfectly. There was just a hint of pinkness to them, flushed from our kiss. Her eyes were so big and full of life. She took my breath away. I couldn't look away from those eyes. It was like being in a trance. This beautiful creature was now mine. I could call her mine. I was officially the luckiest girl in the world in that moment. Her soft hand was still placed in mine as we looked into each other's eyes. I was about to lean in again to place my lips on her perfectly soft ones when Mr. Summers came to the back of the bus and told us to stop flirting and get some food. I must have been the colour of a tomato because Camila started laughing as she crawled over me to make her way out of the bus. I just sat there and watched her go. She was curvy in all the right places and her ass was glorious. The way her hair bounced against her back as she walked and the way her legs moved. It was like she was on a runway.

When she made her way to the exit she turned around and stuck her tongue at me realizing I hadn't been following her.

"Stop gawking Lolo and let's go, I'm starving" she said laughing.

I stood up and made my way off the bus, following my girlfriend.