Je t'aime

3

TW: Lots of cussing and suicide jokes

All I did was try my best
This the kinda thanks I get?
Unrelentlessly upset (Uh, oh)


They say these are the golden years
But I wish I could disappear
Ego crush is so severe
God, it's brutal out here

Lucy woke up to her brothers crying and their parents having another heated argument. Of course they had to, I just got my heart broken and now my parent issues are at it, Lucy bitterly thought to herself. 

"Why don't you leave the house then?" 

"GOD YOU'RE SO MANIPULATIVE THAT IT MAKES ME WANT TO BANG MY HEAD ON THE WALL"

Muffled shouting can be heard from the living room. Why can't they just get a divorce already? They're just giving their children more unresolved trauma to handle like Bitch I'm trying to be the Rich Single Auntie and not the Auntie that committed suicide at the age of 15, As usual thoughts like these, invaded Lucy's mind.

Lucy heard a knock coming from her door, when she opened the door it revealed her 2 younger brothers crying. "Shhh shhh everything is going to be okay, I'm here for the 2 of you" Lucy stated as she hugged her brothers, I swear I'm more of a parent to them than they'll ever be. 

Her brothers played with her Stuff toys while she was working on her homework. She played songs on her speaker on full volume to block out her parents' argument. Finally at some point, her parents stopped fighting. That's when Lucy and her brothers left her room for breakfast. 

Once Lucy was sure that her brothers are finally at their grandparent's house, she gave herself some alone time by taking a bubble bath. Since it's summer time, she chose to wear a white spaghetti top and a pair of black cotton shorts. 

Lucy was actually in the mood to have a productive day, so she got her journal and modules. Once she was done journaling, she made a to do list to get her productive day started.

To do List:

-History
-Biotechnology
-Research
-Math
-English

Well today is going to be a busy day, Lucy thought to herself. She started with her English homework since she finds it easy. She managed to finish 2 assignments before Lunch time starts.
Her mom made her favorite dish which is Grilled cheese and fries. 

While eating lunch, her mom tried to strike a conversation with her angsty daughter. 

"So Lucy, how's school?"

"Oh just the usual, me wanting to jump off a cliff or murder the head of the Education System because I am this close to losing my sanity" Lucy answering bluntly.

Her mother released sigh, there's no point in trying to talk to her daughter when she has her own problems to attend to. She dropped the conversation and finished her lunch. 

"MOTHERFUCKER I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL MURDER YOU, I CAN'T WITH SCHOOL. SUMMER BREAK COME QUICKLY" 

Lucy's mom heard her daughter screaming again, "When will they give the children a break?" She thought to herself as she washed the dishes. 

"MY HOMEWORKS AREN'T DONE, BUT I SURE AM. LANAH WANNA PULL A DAZAI TOGETHER?"

More frustrated shouting coming from her daughter's room can be heard. She silently prayed to God to make time go faster so her daughter can finally stop shouting about how stressful school is.

----

Finally after shouting about how much she hates school, she continued answering her remaining assignments. It was 5:30 pm when she finally finished her remaining assignments, just in time for dinner. 

They're having Tinola for dinner, one of Lucy's favorite Filipino dishes.

"Lucy try being more productive" Her father complained

"What? I'm already productive, I did my chores today" 

"You're always on your gadgets, you don't do your homework that's why you only got 96 instead of 98 on your English report card" 

"So my 96 wasn't enough? I sacrificed my mental health for that grade. It's hard to get a grade like that during this Pandemic"  Lucy was slowly losing her temper

"Watch that tone young lady. Your mental health is perfectly fine, I don't know what you're talking about. Maybe you just want attention or something. Do better" Her father gave her a look that can make the sun go into hiding, but since Lucy is indeed her father's daughter, she did not showed any fear and challenged her father with her very own stare.

Lucy's mother gave her a look that means to drop the conversation. She knows there's no point arguing with her father, he will just gaslight and manipulate her into thinking that it's her fault when in reality it's not. After her parents dismissed her , she immediately went to her room. 

She let out a frustrated scream into her pillow once she closed her door. 

They never appreciate my efforts and sacrifices, they don't know how much I suffered just to reach their high expectations. This the kind of thanks I get? A bunch of complains and shouting from my parents. I love my life. As usual, her thoughts were too loud for her own liking.

She decided to get ready for bed, hoping that it will calm down her nerves. As she turned on the shower, she hummed to La Vie En Rose. She turned off the shower and changed into more comfortable clothes for sleep, her red satin pajamas.

Once she finished her skin care and dried her hair, she crawled onto her bed and fell into a deep slumber.

What's up beautiful people, how are y'all? A few more weeks til summer vacation. I CAN'T WAIT TO GET A BREAK WOHOOOOOOOO