When Shadows Rise | I

Ch. 23 | Shame

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The session ended thirty minutes later. Talia did not feel any different, but she thought it was normal, given it was only the first try. As she meditated more, she would feel the change.

She picked herself up from the floor, said her goodbye to Yoshi, and went to leave, but Leo also got up and followed her.

"For someone who has never meditated before, you didn't do too bad," Leo said, taking off his haōri.

"Thank you," Talia said. "You seem to be the master of it."

Leo scratched the back of his neck. "Eh, I can't compete with my father; he's been doing it for God knows how long."

"I did not realize how difficult it would be," Talia admitted. "It was like trying to spend time alone with a whole clutter in my head."

"And that's completely normal," Leo assured with a smile. "With some practice and trying out new techniques, the sessions will be more easier for you."

Talia tucked a curly lock behind her ear. "I wanted to say that I appreciated your words earlier. It was something I needed to hear."

Leo's face turned into one of surprise. He was not expecting Talia to say that, but he cleared his throat and said, "Oh, no problem. You're going through an extremely hard time right now. Anyone can see that."

What Leo said really resonated with her. The way he chose his words and was able to describe the same feelings she was going through . . . Could it be that he knew exactly what Talia was talking about because he went through something like this before? Unless he was a professor on sleep and trauma-related nightmares.

"Have you ever experienced a nightmare so intense, that it kept you up at night?" Talia asked out of the blue.

While Leo's expression remained dry and clear like glass, but his eyes told a different story— like he had been dragged into a time machine and looked back at old memories. "Plenty. A few years back. I don't dream about them right now, but I know they're waiting to resurface."

That was the power trauma had. You never knew when it would come back to haunt you; just one little trigger on a normal day was enough to make the body feel like it was reliving that distressing moment.

"In your dreams, where there things that just did not make sense to you? And after it was over, you tried to come up with every possible answer, hoping it was the one?"

Leo deeply exhaled, crossing his arms. "A few times, yeah. I even tried changing the ending to some of them, but it made no difference. Each one ended worse than the last."

"Did they ever change?"

"Not until I figured out what my nightmares were trying to tell me. Then it all became clear."

"I just hope I can figure out what message mine is trying to get to me."

"I have a feeling you will," Leo said resolutely. "You just have to look harder."

Talia nodded, and that was when the conversation died down. Truthfully, her recent nightmare was still on her mind. She still could not understand why her body recognized those emotions and sensations as if she had been in that situation before. She had never seen those blue flowers before in her life. And the outfit she had on? She certainly had enough memory to know if she bought and wore a certain outfit, but with this one there was no such thing. But then why did it feel as though she had? Something was missing.