Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No, it's Sexy Cat Roach. Hovering in the air Sexy Cat Roach frantically weaves in and out of the bustling traffic in an attempt to dash towards safety.
"YOU ROACH GET BACK HERE!"
Not concentrating on the direction, he was going it was as if time slowed narrowly missing the oncoming traffic Sexy Cat Roach manages to clip his foot upon the rear end of the vehicle sending him flying and tumbling a good 100000000km across the road. Trying to collect himself and stand back up a figure looms over him casting a dark shadow for what was about to happen.
Now you may be wondering how I got into this situation well let's start from the beginning, shall we?
Opening the door with a ding Sexy Cat Roach walks into the newly built coffee shop right across from his run-down trash can of a home. His home was built similar to the one Oscar the grouch from sesame street lives in only his was way worse due to being filled with used limited edition Asahi Christ dildos (Sexy Cat Roach secretly liked this). Continuing to walk into the shop Sexy Cat Roach catches a whiff of the mouthwatering sweet cakes, pastries, and roasted coffee beans. Standing behind the counter a god looking figure greeted Sexy Cat Roach with a pleasant smile before offering him the menu and ushering him to a spare table. Sitting down on the plush seats he begins to look over the menu cheesecake, donuts, carrot cake, apple pie, brownies, chocolate chip cookies, and fudge at this point the list went on and on that Sexy Cat Roach gave up and went Eenie meenie miney mo landing on the 'cream' filled donuts. Calling out to the nearest waitress he ordered two 'cream' filled donuts as well as a latte cause why not. Watching the waitress run off Sexy Cat Roach sinks further into the plush seats thinking about those lashings he received last week, god how sexy was all he could think.
"Here's your order sir and I hope you enjoy."
Scurrying off Sexy Cat Roach whips his attention back to the table wondering why they ran off so quickly it was then he realized that his catsuit felt tighter in some areas it shouldn't be in public. Choosing to ignore this Sexy Cat Roach dives right into that tight pus- I mean 'cream' filled donuts while gulping down his piping hot latte. Although something was off about the 'cream' it tasted salty and had an odd texture. Finishing off his meal Sexy Cat Roach walks to the counter to pay and then leaves catching a gust of wind on the way out rustling his beautiful blonde locks.
"ITS HIM, OMG ITS REALLY HIM."
"HES SO FUCKING HOT."
Bewildered Sexy Cat Roach turns to see a bunch of squealing fans making all sorts of faces and remarks that would cause many sleepless nights for anyone. For example, 'I have two hands and three holes for a reason' alongside 'lord Asahi Christ please have mercy on me, I just know they be packing'. Not wanting to be caught Sexy Cat Roach makes a dash in the opposite direction making sure to not give away the location of his trach can home. Scrambling along the path pushing anyone out of his way the sound of screams and heavy footsteps fill Sexy Cat Roach ears.
"I swear they could cause an earthquake, muttered Sexy Cat Roach."
Turning down a dark alleyway to get away and catch his breath Sexy Cat Roach is met with a fucking glowing disco sombrero looking ass man singing with his mouth lighting up.
"BUT NOW THERES NOWHERE TO HIDE SINCE YOU PUSHED MY LOVE ASIDE."
"OH HELL NAH."
Falling back Sexy Cat Roach tries to make a run for it only to be cornered by the screaming fans. What happened next you would never believe. The man just wanted to go shop in 'Albatshit'. Breathing a sigh of relief Sexy Cat Roach has had quite enough of this ordeal and begins to levitate like the roach he is up and out of the dark alleyway leaving his borderline psycho fans behind. What he didn't take into account though was the low hanging lines causing one to violently wrap around his neck sending him flying into the nearest window, which just so happened to be owned by the all-mighty Makka Pakka. Flying straight into his window demolishing half of his apartment and landing at the front door Sexy Cat Roach stands up as if nothing happened.
"Oh, hey Makka Pakka watcha doing?"
"What am I doing oh you know just the usual watching someone crash through the window and completely destroy half of the apartment."
"Whoa calm down Jamal no need to pull out the nine."
"Aghhh you piss me off yelled Makka Pakka."
"EEP."
Lunging towards Sexy Cat Roach's throat (Kinky) with his fat sausage hands they just narrowly miss his neck causing him to trip over the debris and cabling and scrape his shit for head along the ground. Even more pissed now Sexy Cat Roach takes this as a sign to hit the road and makes a quick dash outside.
Back to the present now trying to collect himself and stand back up a figure looms over him casting a dark shadow for what was about to happen.
"Imma finna beat yo ass."
Trembling beneath the all-powerful Makka Pakka Sexy Cat Roach pleads his case.
"I will suck your dick for months on end please let me go."
As tempted as Makka Pakka was he knew this wasn't going to cut it the damage was far too great for a measly blow job from Sexy Cat Roach. Beginning to crack his knuckles and neck and basically, every joint possible a devious grin comes across Makka Pakka's face oh I'm going to enjoy this one. Grabbing out his limited-edition Barbie tea party set Makka Pakka grabs Sexy Cat Roach shoving him into one of the seats while setting up the table not minding all the traffic driving around them as they were in the middle of the road.
"You are going to enjoy this no questions asked, got it?"
Whimpering Sexy Cat Roach nods his head frantically.
"Good."
Sitting on the plastic pink chair with a shit-eating sadistic grin Makka Pakka pours some tea for both himself and Sexy Cat Roach. Lightly sipping down the tea Makka Pakka notices Sexy Cat Roach making no attempt to drink the tea.
"What you too good for tea shitface?"
Pissed Makka Pakka stands abruptly from the tea party not giving Sexy Cat Roach a chance to reply and lands a fist right into Sexy Cat Roach's throat. Unable to breathe and choking for air on the ground Makka Pakka proceeds to pick Sexy Cat Roach up by the head and kick his head in like Levi did to Eren (Ereh). Noticing all the blood and teeth splatter across the road Makka Pakka lets out a laugh of satisfaction. Proud of his work Makka Pakka picks up his limited-edition Barbie tea party set and makes his way back to his half-demolished apartment leaving Sexy Cat Roach to die in a pool of his own blood on the road.
"I told you I was gonna finna beat yo ass."
- Karly Legham.
