HaPpY : binsung

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My social media are being messy after Jisung released my rap battle in the underground scene in his seolaraxis account. With people finding out the older SPEARB video being mercilessly annihilated by J.ONE. Good thing is that J.ONE's hoodie was covering his face,
yet they all knew that the voice was familiar.

Just from the tone, I already knew Jisung is the only person who can destroy me like that.

And that was just about the time that 3racha mixtape got releases and boomed overnight. Learning that J.ONE, SPEARB, and CB97 are the 3 producers and rappers of the mixtape.

Soon getting theories and rumors that it was me, him, and chan. Of course, the class already knew. Yet we all already learned what we have to go through, If secrets of the class go out. It cost Jisung's well-being and himself. Who knew months and dates would pass by swiftly over our heads.

I've always wondered why Jisung always has painkillers and I don't have to wonder, because I know. He wasn't able to participate in our gym classes, back to back,  for 2 weeks. Sometimes, he won't pick up my calls at night, when it was declined on purpose, he'll consistently appear the next day limping. He doesn't even wanna talk about it, avoids every conversation about his physical state, hides it by always wearing sleeves and a sweater on top of his uniform.

"I'm fine."

That is what he always says. I just did my best to take care of him when he's with me. I'm getting scared for him. I needed to do something.The Vice president told me about Jisung running away, the divorce, and the beatings. I wanted it to come from Jisung, But Jisung won't go into details, not that he really opened it up to anyone.

Only a few knew what happened to him. There's this one time I hugged him from behind, his breath hitched and he flinched.

"I'm letting you hug me, so... gently please." He said as we cuddled after having our lunch on the corner of the rooftop. I cooked it, I had my sister help me. It didn't look that appetizing but he said it's overall yummy and just needed to be cooked less.

He closed his eyes and took a nap, and there I see a massive bruise on his side running down his waist when I checked once again.

I felt like all my breath escaped my lungs, to the point of hyperventilating. I can't take it, seeing him like this over and over again these days. Burying my head on his shoulders, breathing in his scent, in hopes that it will calm me down.

"I'll be okay Bin-ah, It'll be over when my birthday comes." I didn't notice he's awake and just stayed quiet. He tried reassuring me when he notices me sobbing on his shoulders. He turned around and looked at me. Touching our foreheads. "Don't worry. I have saved enough. I'll be getting out soon."

"Han-ah."

"Hmmm..." He hummed.

"I'm here."

"I know. Thank you, Bin-ah." He tapped the arms I wrapped around him.

And now only I knew, that he was brought back to his abusive father until he turns of legal age. He eats less to save and move. That's when it clicked to me, he has plans. What could a mere high schooler like me do? I discussed it with my sister, telling her I'm asking for a friend.

She caught on right away that it was Jisung.

"Han-ah." I nudged him and he opened his eyes.

"Hmmm."

"Do you wanna know why I call you Han-ah?"

"Because number one?" He asked, tilting his head, still in my arms.

"That's one of the reasons." I said in his ear.

"Hmmm, why?" He hummed.

"It means flower in Japanese."

"isn't it supposedly 'hanabi'.

"..."

He smirked.

I covered his mouth with my hands to wipe the smug off of his face as he ruined the moment, fighting every urge to smash my lips to his.

"I like it. I'm pretty, right?" he giggled as he slapped my hands away.

"Yes, you are." I mumbled softly breathing in his lovely scent.

"Aww.. you're prettier, Bin-ah." He pinched my nose. He overturned me once again. I like it when he teases me. His face lights up whenever he does.

"Chan used to call me pretty too."

There's the switch being flipped again. It's Chan again.

"Han-ah. Do you still love him?"

"..."

"Will you forget him? For me?" I pleaded , I know how selfish it sounds. But I saw how chan treated him after the seat switch. Jisung was like a dog wagging his tail for every opportunity to come close to the older as if they weren't best friends' or lovers before the great shift.

"But isn't it funny, He used to call me his butterfly."

"Hence, the butterfly necklace? I asked and there comes Han and his infatuations with butterflies. He likes them so much.
 

He laid in his stomach and looked at me.

"Yep."

He is smiling yet his smile is full of sadness.

"I'll never forget him, Bin."

I frowned and sniffed at his reply. If only I've gotten to him first.

"Bin, thank you for waiting..."

"All this time. I think I won't be able to-

-to thoroughly erase what I felt for him... I'll always have a piece of him in my heart, y'know..."

I'm becoming a crybaby, because of him. I didn't think about it, I can't let go of Han anymore, not right now, not ever, if he rejects me right now, I won't be able to hear and bear it.

I won't be able to deal with it.

I haven't prepared at all, sure, at first, I didn't worry at all. But I've already gone deep, I've been by his side ever since I declared my feelings throughout these months.

I covered my face, I would respect whatever he decided, I already drilled that on my head before telling him.

"But I think I am capable of loving someone more than I loved him."  He wipes my tears with his thumbs and held my hands.

"Just wait a lil' bit longer, Princess." He said smiling. "Don't be too sad."

"Why the tears?"Jisung says as he kissed my fave and chase the tears away.