HaPpY : binsung

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"Am I one of those few?"

"Of course, everybody else besides, Binnie." I clarified.

"Jisung." He called out, our forehead still joined as our bodies repeatedly swayed sideways. It was all natural, I inhaled his scent. Intoxicating. I used to breathe it in as if it was a medicine.

But medicines expire too.

It waa a cure that will become poison if left for too long.

"Yes?" I didn't back away and instead close my eyes, in the anticipation of what's after my name being called.

"Jisung. I'm sorry."  Chan whispering as one of his hands brushed and played with my earrings, especially the butterfly one.

"It's okay, Channie-hyung." I let out a breath of relief and assured him. The weight that was consuming me was lifted off, that's all I wanted to hear.

This time I can say it comfortably, that it's okay.

I'm content, right now. Everything turned out fine.

"I'm sorry, too." I couldn't help that the crack in my voice won't go unnoticed.

"I am-

"Please, don't apologize to me, It was all my fault. Your dad, my friends, I-I let them get to me." He cuts me off, there's that look again. He frets again.

"No, Channie-Hyung, listen. We both have our faults, Just- Some things... aren't meant to be, I guess.

Let it go, Chan- Hyung."

"I wish your happiness, too."

....

"Time has passed us by."

"I love you..." he mumbled, his voice drowning in the music.

"I know... I know..." I searched for his face, his lowered gaze, and drooping shoulders. I've always wondered how much he holds on that broad shoulders of his. How does he keep things all in?

...Even I couldn't get in.

His grip and facial features flinched as he heard the dictions. I know Channie-Hyung.

"Enjoy the rest of the night, Chan-Hyung." I patted his coat and fixed his lopsided tie and messed up collar while still slowly swaying back and forth.

"Will you call me, Chris one more time?"

"You told me not to that day." I laughed nervously.

Back then, He yelled and it scared me truly and fell at my feet.

"Just one last time." He pleaded.

I just swallowed my spit.

"My Chris."

I cupped his cheeks and rubbed my thumb as he closed his eyes, breathing in, pressing his cheeks on my little hands. It's the same endearing tone I used to call him. Clingy, needy, greedy, and every bit of what's holding my sanity back then.

Thinking that a future with both him and me exists.

"Please say it more." His lips trembled. I haven't noticed but as the time grew we are already close, no gap and arms wrapped tightly, his hands interlaced locking me in his grip. It wasn't aggressive yet for the first time, It felt different. I couldn't feel anything at the lock and cradle of his arms.

"..."

Not anymore.

His hands aren't just on the sides of my waist anymore, maybe, It tightened on the realization that this is the last time around, we both know it is finally the closing chapter.  Oh, how I wished differently for us in the past. Every inch of me hoped and longed for him, day by day.

I leaned my cheeks on his chest and he snuggled his cheeks on my hair, resting his chin afterwards above my head. His heart's familiar beating, Just like those times where I would rest on top of his frame. Plain nostalgic.

We danced for a few more minutes, finishing the song.

It's over.

He escorted me back to Binnie. Squeezing my hands as he released me from his grasps.

Chan just nodded and went back to his table and sat down staring blankly at the upbeat dancing crowd.

"You gave him your first dance."

"And thank you, Bin-ah. You are the best. " I gave him a thumbs-up as he shoved a mouthful of choco mousse on my mouth but it's a prank, out of nowhere, and fed himself instead.

"He is my first love."

"I knew how much he meant to you, Just please, - he sighed.

"That's the last time you'll ever hold him like that." Changbin shook his head subtly.

"Jealous?"

"..." He pouted. He's really cute when sulking.

"Understood, I would like to negotiate this offense  and nullify the cussing agreement."

He perked up. I am already getting a grasp of how the mechanism of Seo Changbin. He is precious.

"Also, our college plans."

I proposed, He stopped. We've had discussions and plans, He started kicking his feet in excitement. The night proceed and we danced. Ditching the scene right after.

It's my last dance.