This Is It.

chapter 1

I know I'm not crazy. Flip!

How come they have my life all...figured out but I don't. What happened to "exploring and finding out where you belong in this world." I want more. I know there's so much to see and experience out there.

"Hey! Are you listening to me girly?"

Sheesh, I nearly forgot I was in a conversation with my mom...well more like a lecture.

"I am mom I just don't think you get to choose what I get to do after I finish school." 

I don't know how many times I have had this conversation with my family. It is always the same thing over and over again.

"Well you're crazy if you think I'm going to let you waste your time with your silly little plans, Bianca" my mom stated as she left the room.

I started to clean my room just to avoid overthinking the whole situation like I normally do.

I finished cleaning and started writing a little poem in my notebook. It's a hobby I developed a few years ago. I don't understand how my mom sees this as "silly." I mean it makes me happy.

My mom wants me to follow her footsteps and get a job as an architect or something just so I could please her. I really enjoy doing construction at school but...ahh I'll leave it at that. I feel like there's so much to life than that. I don't want to live a life full of depressing responsibilities. I know there is something out there for me. You can call me naive but normal is definitely not for me.

I decided to go out for a walk. I needed some fresh air because I felt like I was suffocating in that house. Nothing interesting was happening really but I was burning up. The walk gave me a chance to think thoroughly about my plans. I was planning on making a very drastic decision. I mean it was my last year in school, actually no I was done with school so I'm ready.

It was time to eat dinner and man I did not want to see my mom again but my stomach was complaining. I went into the kitchen and luckily no one was there. After making a snack I went back into my bedroom.

As I was eating, one of my friends, Jay called me.

"Hey what's up bro?"

"Hey Bianca I'm all good no sweat. I just wanted to check on you for a minute you know."

"Well I'm a little stressed out."

"What your Ma still bugging you?"

" She never stops man"

"I think it's time you made your decision B. It's either you follow your dreams of being artist or...listen to your mom."

"I made my decision man. I'm left with three weeks then I'm out of here. I want to be happy and explore. That's definitely what I'm going for."

"That cool, I hear you."

"Yeah so how has it been going with you? How are things with your family?"

"You know I don't like talking about that. I'll tell you when I'm ready."

I know that means 'never'. He never tells me stuff. Sometimes I wonder if he does not trust me enough I mean I tell him everything.

"Okay, whenever you feel comfortable Jaiden. I love you snot face."

"Alright bye dumbass. I love you too."

My relationship with Jay is kinda weird. He's one of the few people that understand me and I'm really comfortable when I'm with him. Sometimes he's my brother, cousin, guardian, boss, boyfriend, teacher I've literally used him to escape getting in trouble a lot and that's why he's all of that.

We have been communicating over the phone a lot lately because we're both preparing ourselves for the next level and by that I mean leaving our homes to start our lives. We're going to different places but I think we will still be near each other. Jay cannot stay away from me ever since he started having a crush me.

That got sorted out and he realized we're better off as bro's.

I remembered I had to make a call to the lady who owns the flat I'm going to be staying at when I move out.

"Hi this is Bianca, am I speaking to Ms Moreau?" I asked.

"Yes."  She sounded very angry.

"Well Bianca I don't like people who keep me waiting." Shit! I knew she must have been angry. I forgot I was even on the phone. Her voice is really amazing.

" I'm sorry mam. I was just checking if the flat is still available for me to stay," I said.

"The flat is still available just make sure to fetch some document from me when you're ready to stay in it, okay?" She advised.

"Yes I will thank you."

She immediately hung up the phone. I wonder if I'll get to meet her personally.  I don't know but there's just something about her. Her accent sounded familiar.

Now I had to go back to my planning. I still have a lot to go through. Hell I don't even know if my mom is going to let me go if I tell her exactly what I'm going to do there. She will probably kill me before I even finish the first sentence damn!

At least I know where I'm going to be staying. Jay's father offered to pay for whatever it is I'm going to be doing after I finish school so that one is sorted too. I actually think this is going to be harder than I thought- me moving out...disobeying my mom...it's really going to be a lot but I have to do whatever it takes to makes sure I live my best life. Following my dreams.

Tomorrow was Saturday and I wanted to go to the mall and the only person who can go with me is Jay. So  I decided to give him a call.

"Jason Derulo!" I said laughing.

"Oh please B, don't even try me. What do you want? I know you want something."

Man I tried to hide it Haha- "I just want us to go to the mall tomorrow. Are you up for that Jay Jay?."

"You know I'll take every chance to get you out of that house. You're always locked up in that place. I don't know how you cope."

  I mean he knows I'm an introvert. I love my personal space.I don't even know why he's asking. "Jay stop, please just stop. Fetch me at my house tomorrow, early in the morning. Bye." I hung up the phone.

I lied to Jay, I actually have 3 weeks to  make my  decision. I went to bed and couldn't stop thinking about the whole situation until I was out.