Caught Up in my Thoughts

Change

Hey guys! I wanted to say sorry because some of the dates don't line up and stuff. I heard somewhere that in Australia when it's December that their summer break starts. Idk if that's true but I'm gonna go with it. So now it's December in the story, so yeah. Hope you like it!
Cecilia's POV

A week. We had been together for a week, and had gone on two dates. There was something about Luke. I didn't know what but I was falling fast and hard. If he didn't catch me then I don't know what would happen. Things in my life had been going good. Besides Mali dying, and that was still very hard, things where good. It was the beginning of summer now. I loved not having to do school anymore and now Sky and I could hang out more. She was coming over today, and should be here anytime now. I went on Twitter. I had a lot more followers now, but people had started to be very mean to me. I didn't really know why ether. The doorbell rang pulling me out of my thoughts. U went downstairs to the door and there was Sky. "Hey! Ling time no see." She said giving me a hug. "Yeah it has been!" I laughed. We went up to my room and I told her everything about what happened with me and Luke to when I tried to kill myself. Even though we hadn't gotten to hangout much we had talked on the phone a lot. "So... Calum asked me something..." she said after I was done. "Oh really! What did he ask you?" I said with a big smirk lacing my lips. "Well we where texted and he asked me if I wanted to go on a date with him! So, we are going on a date to the movies tommorow!" She smiles so big I thought her face was going to break. "Oh my gosh!" I screamed. We both stated to fangirl." Ok, ok. Now you have to spend the night!" I ordered. "I was hoping you would say that! I'm like so freakin nervous though!" She laughed a very nervous laugh and bit her lip. "It'll be fun. I promise!" I said trying to make her feel better. We didn't do much the rest of the day. After watching about 6 movies we went to bed at 4 in the morning. The day came to early and it was only 1. Her date was at 8 so we had a lot of time. We just hung out and had some left over pizza. They always had pizza here for some reason. Then she took a shower and I straightened her hair. It looked so pretty. After that I did hee makeup and she got dress. She had on a Green Day T-shirt and black skinny jeans. Then it was time for her date.

A few days later

Sky's date went amazing. She spent the night with me again and told me all about it. Calum said that him and the boys wanted to talk to me. I walked downstairs, a bad feeling in my stomach. What if my mom wants me to go and live with her and Kyle? I can't! I won't! I walked into the large living room and sat down on the couch. Michael was besides me eating some pizza and Calum was on the other couch eat some ad well. Ashton wasn't in there. That was weird. After Michael got done with his pizza he took my hand in his. Calum came over and sat on the big foot stool in front of me. Where was Ashton? Calum had a weird look on hid face. I was getting worried that something was wrong with Ashton but then he came in and sat next to Calum. "Cece, we wanted to talk to you about some stuff." Calum started. "Yeah, we feel that it would be a good thing for you to go to" Ashton started but then Calum interrupted him. "We think you should start going to counseling, but only if you want to and it's ok with you." He said. Michael squeezed my hand. I didn't know how I felt about telling everything about myself to somebody that I knew much less didn't know. Maybe it would be good though. It could help with some of the things that I'm dealing with. "Yeah sure. I'll give it a try." A smiled weakly. I was not completely sure if I wanted to but I would at least try. "Good!" Calum said with a small smile. Then a look of more worry came over his face. "We also think that you should, start going to a school this upcoming school year." Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! I don't think so. "Umm why?" I asked them all letting go of Michael's hand, which he didn't want me to do. "Well you don't have very many friends and you don't go out much so we thought it would be a good thing for you." Ashton explained. They most have been crazy. I have always hated having to be with lots of people and big crowds. I don't like making new friends or meeting people ether. After a about 4 hours of being with people I can't be anymore." No I can't!" I yelled at them. They all looked shocked. The room started to spin and my head started to hurt. My eyes tried to cry but I wouldn't let them. I was going to be strong. "School doesn't start for another 3 months so you can think about it." Michael said trying to take my hand. I just pulled it away. "No! I don't want to!" I stood up and walked up to my room. I felt so bad but I couldn't do it. I lade down on my bed. I wasn't going to cry. Not this time. I couldn't. I had to be strong. I stood up and walked to the bathroom. I got out my blade and sat down in the bathtub. I put it to my wrist and cut about 9 times on each wrist. The blood trickled down my arm and I watched it. I just felt numb. I stood up a few minutes later and washed them off. Then I bandaged them and went out of the bathroom. I pout on a big hoodie and pulled my hair into a messy bun. I lade down on my bed. I felt even worse now. I felt... empty. Alone. All because of that one thing. I was so stupid. I hated myself and I just wanted it all to be over.

Hi again! This was a weird chapter. I'm sorry I'm such a bad writer. I know this probably sucked, but thank you for reading anyway. Please vote and comment thanks! Ilya!- Abbie :)