Caught Up in my Thoughts

Hold me

If you haven't read the last chapter called Stay please please please do because this won't make much sense if you don't . Thank you!

Cecilia's POV

I had just been laying there in bed for four days now. The only reason I would get up was to use the restroom. Calum came in and sat down beside me. I didn't know what to do. For the first two days I had cried but now the tears wouldn't come. I didn't feel anything. Anything. "Cece you need to eat something." He told me, sitting on the side of my bed. I just looked out the window. It had rained everyday since she died. I just wanted to go outside and stand in it. To see if I could feel anything. I has tryed once but the boys made me come back inside. "Please Cece. Just eat a little something or say something." He begged. I looked up at him. I could see the pain in hid eyes. His face was red from crying. The funeral was tomorrow. I didn't know if I could make it. I didn't know if he could make it. I felt so numb. Even though I had only known her a little while I lobed hee a lot, and now she was gone. Just like that. "Ok." I said almost in a whisper. Calum gave a very small smile. "Thanks." He said taking my hand and leading me down to the kitchen. After I had some toast I decided to try going outside again. Opening the door I walked out into the pouring rain. As my body got soaked I felt to firm hands grip on to me. They pulled me back inside. I was soaked from head to foot. But I didn't really care. I turned around to see Ashton with a towel. He wrapped me up and I walked upstairs. I lade down on my bed, not caring that I would get it all wet. Hours pasted by. I just lade there. That's all I wanted to do.

A week later

I had spent the hole week in bed. Nothingness taking over me. Then the thoughts started. I could just end it all right now. Nobody would care. I ignored them for I long time. Then they got more and more persistent. I didn't want to keep fighting the battle that is called life. It wasn't just because Mali had died. I just felt so alone. I got up. I hadn't done my makeup at all for a week and hair was it's natural wavy straight. I was as pail as a ghost. I had on shorts and a gray T-shirt. I walked in to the bathroom. I didn't bother closing the bedroom door or the bathroom door because nobody but Michael was home, and he was asleep. I day down it the tub. Then I turned on the water. I just lade there as the warm water weld up around me. Just before it would spill out of the tub I turned it off. Then I slowly sank in to the water. My eyes were open. I lade there holding my breath until I couldn't anymore. Taking in the warm water through my nose and mouth it filled my lungs. Again and again the water filling my lugs and not air. My eyes slowly started to close.

Michael's POV

I had just woken up. I walked passed Cecelia's room. Her light was on and so was the bathroom light. As soon as I walked by the water turned off. Not the shower, but the tub water. "Cece I'm up! You should probably close the door now." I called. No answer. "Hey Cece do you want me to close your bedroom door?" I asked. No answer. There was a strange silence. "Cece? I'm coming in!" I warned. She didn't answer. I walked in to the bathroom and there she was laying in the tub. She was close to the top. I ran over and pulled her out, and took her to her bed. She still had a pulse but it was faint. I started to push on her stomach to get the water to come out. I had to give her mouth to mouth resuscitation several times. Finally she came to. "Michael..." She whispered. "I thought... I thought I was gonna lose you Cece!" I said. I was crying and a tear fell on to her check. "I'm sorry Michael." She said. I didn't want her to ever leave me. She was so important to me. I held her in arms and she started to cry. "I just couldn't do it anymore. I don't know what to do anymore... This isn't just about Mali." She told me. "Please don't ever do anything like that again. I couldn't bare to loose you." I confessed. She just nodded." Please don't tell the boys." She said. "Ok. I won't." Part of me said that was bad but the other part said that if she wanted them to know then she could tell them.

Next day
Cecilia's POV

I was still just laying there in my bed there was nothing for me to do. I felt do depressed. After Mali had died everything just went down from there. It was getting late so u had just taken my medicine. Knock! Knock! Knock! "Cece can I come in? It's me Luke."  I heard from outside the door. "Sure." I answered turning over to face the wall so he would see me as well. He came in and sat down beside me. "Hey Cece..." he trailed off. I just wanted him to hold me. I needed somebody to. I felt so alone. "Can I do anything for you?" He asked." A tear ran down my face and I didn't answer him. I just sniffed, trying to hold back the tears that dared to fall. He turned me over on my back. A few more tears ran down my face. "Hey don't cry!" He said pulling me into his arms. He was so warm. I just lade there in his arms and cried. That's what I had wanted to do. We both fell asleep soon after that. Me to the sound of his heart.  I needed him... and he was there for me. How soon he wouldn't be there when I needed him though.

Hi! So I'm really liking Luke and Cecilia. If you guys want to you could think of a ship name and maybe it will come true. I hope you liked the chapter! Please vote and comment! I have also started another fanfic that is an Ashton Irwin one and it's called Rebels. It would be awesome if you could check that out. I love you all!- Abbie ;D