Here For You

2

TW's:
-Mentions bullying
-Self harm
-Self hate

George's POV

TW self harm

I had made a small cut in my wrist with the small blade I took with me as I walked to the bathroom while crying. I waited for the small scratch to stop bleeding, pulled my sleeves far over my arms full of wounds and walked back to class after I texted shortly with Dream, my only friend, unfortunately he wasn't here with me.

TW over

I wiped my tears away and pulled my hood over my head as I passed Clay. Clay didn't say anything this time since he was looking at his phone and I sped up, walking quickly to the classroom's door.

I sat back down on my chair and the teacher walked closer to me as the whole class was just talking a bit about the camp we were going on.

'Are you okay, George?'

I smiled and nodded. 'I'm fine, thanks.'

'You cried, I don't think you're okay.'

'Oh, no worries. I'm totally fine, I'm excited for the camp!'

I didn't even know I was this good at acting, but I acted so happy that I even believed it myself. Although, I was everything but happy. I had been bullied by Clay and his friends for five years now and I was breaking.

It all started five years ago when I changed classes. I was in the same class as Clay and a group of people, the group of people started being mean to me and Clay added in. The whole group went to a different class two years after that, but Clay has always stayed in the same class as me, bullying me a lot.

When the bullying had been going on for three years, I sometimes started cutting myself to release the pain somehow. No one knew I did that, I wasn't going to tell anyone either. I would keep this a secret forever, they would only bully me even more.

I had been thinking of telling Dream, my online best friend. I knew he wouldn't try to stop me and I knew he would still love me, telling me he did care about me. Although, Dream also didn't know about me getting bullied for years. I didn't dare to tell him, I knew he would get really mad at them. I didn't want him to contact them.

My teacher left me alone eventually and I kept quiet for the rest of the day, going home after that. My parents were both at work and I threw my bag down in the living room, running upstairs after. There, the tears started streaming down my face as I realised everything that had happened today.

Was I actually that ugly? I stood up slowly and stood in front of my mirror, staring at my reflection with tears in my eyes. I was indeed really ugly and I felt sad by looking at myself.

TW self harm+blood

After a while I pulled off my hoodie, looking at my body as I started crying. I wasn't muscular at all, I was pale and too skinny. My arms were also covered in scars and I quickly pulled my hoodie back on, rolling up my sleeves.

As some sort of automatism, I grabbed one of my blades, making multiple cuts in my arm. Every cut had a reason, most being about all my insecurities.

I realised I should stop cutting myself after a while and laid my blade back down, going to the bathroom to wash off the blood on my arms. I just waited patiently for the wounds to stop bleeding and when they did after ten minutes, I walked back to my bed.

TW over

I pulled my hoodies' sleeves far over my hands so only my fingers were visible and I grabbed my phone to text Dream.

Gogy
I'm home :)

Dream
Me too, wanna talk about your day?

Gogy
It's fine tho :) just some people were annoying

Dream
I'm sorry :( you're amazing and they should see that too

Gogy
I wish, maybe one day :D

I took a deep breath in real life and I looked at my screen. I wanted to tell Dream that I cut myself, but I found it hard to talk about.

Gogy
Can I tell you something which is quite difficult for me?

Dream
Of course <3

Gogy
And you won't get mad at me?

Dream
I will never :)

Gogy
I'm not as happy as I act sometimes

Dream
I'm so sorry, Gogy. How is this showing?

I had my heart beat extremely fast and I was shaking slightly.

Gogy
I'm very nervous

Dream
Take your time <3

Gogy
So I kind of self harm

Dream
Oh no, Gogy :( are you alright? How long have you been doing this for?

Gogy
A few years, I'm sorry. Are you mad? Or do you like me less now?

Dream
I'm not mad and I don't like you less. Do you do it often? <3

Gogy
I did today a few times, but I hadn't done it in four days before :)

Dream
I'm so proud! Four days is a big thing!

Gogy
Do you think so?

Dream
I do! Shall we try to beat your four days record? You can try five!

I blushed and smiled. He still cared and was being really sweet to me.

Gogy
Would you be mad if I fail?

Dream
I wouldn't, but you're not going to fail. You're strong and I'm going to help you. May I ask how you self harm?

Gogy
I cut

Dream
Do you have a lot of blades?

Gogy
Quite some

Dream
What if we throw away one blade a day? You don't need multiple at all. One day we can throw out your last blade. I will visit you once and we will do it together :)

Gogy
Thanks, Dream. Thanks for caring, I've never told this to anyone and I'm glad you know now. I would like to hide this for everyone else tho, is that alright?

Dream
It is, I won't tell anyone either <3 I love you, Gogy. Just as much as I did before you told me this

Gogy
I love you too <3

I put my phone down and smiled. Dream made me happier and I laid down in my bed, closing my eyes. I was so tired that I ended up falling asleep.

1051 words