Here For You

11

TW's:
-Mentions trauma's
-Panic attack
-Bullying

Clay's POV

Before I knew it, I was sitting next to George in the bus again and he was holding a bag to make sure he wouldn't throw up on the ground. I was just annoyed with him, but Sapnap was suddenly really nice to George. He was going to some stores with George at the end of the day to buy him pills for his motion sickness. I couldn't stand them both.

The trip with the bus wasn't as long as before and we walked in the museum with the class after the teachers showed their tickets and such. We had to make groups of three and I walked to Sapnap, looking at him.

'You can come with us.'

'Us?'

'George and me.'

TW bullying

'Why that dumb guy again, why don't you just switch rooms with me? I don't want to be with that dumb idiot anymore, it hurts me to even look at him.'

'Just shut up, asshole. I'm going with George and I don't want you to come too if you act like this. So you better act normal or you just go alone, because no one wants to be with such an idiot as you.'

'He's just so annoying, I bet he's going to be reading all of the signs just to annoy me.'

'He is going to read them, but not with the intention to annoy you. With that, I'm also going to be reading them so even if George wouldn't be with us, you would still have to wait.'

I sighed deeply. 'Don't think I'm going to be reading any of them.'

'Okay, good for you,' Sapnap said and he smiled at George. 'We will read them together.'

George nodded with a smile and I rolled my eyes. 'You're actually stupid, George. Why are you still wearing that dumb hoodie?'

'Shut up, dude,' Sapnap said. 'He can wear whatever he wants. Just leave if you have nothing else to say.'

'Fine, I'll shut up.'

TW over

We started walking through the museum and I waited impatiently each time George and Sapnap read a sign. I didn't want to be alone so I shut my mouth too, but I let them know I disliked it here by sighing loudly each time they stood still for a few minutes.

I got ignored fully by them for the whole time and after a while we passed by a group of boys and girls, they were looking at a sign and I looked at one of the boys, smiling at him. I wasn't sure why I did, but I did.

'He's so gay,' I heard one of the girls whispered as she giggled.

I turned to her immediately. 'What the hell did you just call me?'

I grabbed her shoulders and looked at her furiously. 'Say that one more time and I'll actually break your bones.'

'Sorry,' she mumbled. 'Didn't know that was so sensitive to you.'

'I'm not gay, understood? Don't you dare ever say that again.'

'Clay, let her go, dumbass,' Sapnap yelled and he pushed me away.

'THEN SHE HAS TO SHUT HER MOUTH.'

'I'm sorry,' the girl said with a genuine look in her eyes. 'I didn't mean it as an insult, being gay is a positive thing to me.'

TW panic attack

I turned around and walked away from them, sitting down on a bench as more thoughts came back up. Each time I thought about my past again, I got more real and worse than last time.

I hid my face behind my hands as I started to hyperventilate and cry at the same time. I laid down on the bench, curled up like a ball as I felt like dying again. I laid like this for five minutes and I saw Sapnap and George running to me.

'Are you okay, Clay?' Sapnap asked panicky.

'I know what to do,' I heard George say. He sat down next to me and held me in his arms as he ran his hand through my hair.

TW over

It took me ten minutes to calm down and I pushed George away again, standing up as I walked to the exit. 'I'm leaving.'

'What just happened?' Sapnap asked in confusion.

'He has a lot of panic attacks,' George said. 'Come, we can continue walking around, Clay.'

I shrugged as I was completely exhausted after two panic attacks already this day. On top of that, I also had the worst flashback I ever had.

'Just come with us,' Sapnap said.

I was too tired to argue against it and I slowly walked with them to the next signs. I saw the girl who called me gay coming up to me and she smiled.

'I think your name was Clay. Clay, I want to apologise. I don't see gay as an insult, I always get really happy when someone is gay. I saw you had a panic attack and I'm genuinely so sorry.'

I smiled weakly. 'It's fine, just don't judge so fast.'

'I'm sorry, I shouldn't have judged so fast as I did. I don't know anything about you and I can't judge off of a feeling. I'm sorry.'

'It's fine.'

'Are you okay? Did something bad happen to you in the past?'

'I don't want to talk about it.'

'Okay, I understand. Make sure to talk to someone you trust, because a life with a trauma isn't fun at all.'

'How would you know?'

'Because I'm a rape victim and it got so much worse when I kept it to myself. Once I started talking about it, I could finally process it. Now I'm at the point that I can easily talk about it. Of course it still hurts, but I'm happy again.'

'I'm sorry to hear that.'

'I'm happy again and everyone with a trauma deserves to be happy. So do you. My name is Niki, by the way. Do you want my number?'

I shrugged. 'I don't know if I'm going to text you.'

Niki shrugged and grabbed a pen and paper. 'Text me if you feel like it. If you don't want to, that's fine too. Have fun today!'

I smiled and turned back to George and Sapnap who were looking at me.

'Do you have a trauma which you don't talk about?' Sapnap asked.

'I don't want to talk about it, let's go further.'

1055 words