Here For You

18

TW's:
-Kinda suicide attempt
-Mentions of abuse
-Self harm+blood

George's POV

TW self harm+blood (not really the intention to die, but also not to live)

I woke up as I heard Clay leave and didn't hesitate for any longer. I crawled to the bathroom since I couldn't walk after I had been beaten up. I sat down in the bathroom and grabbed my blade.

I wasn't planning on killing myself, although I wouldn't try to make less deep cuts this time. I put the blade on my arm and turned my arm around to cut my wrist. If I would die because of this, I wouldn't even mind anymore.

I understood Clay's reasoning behind what he did and I even forgave him for what he had done, but I was still so extremely hurt and alone that I didn't want this anymore. My confidence was so extremely low that I actually genuinely hated myself so badly that I didn't want to live with myself anymore.

I cut myself really deeply as I realised that I also didn't have Dream anymore. He was the only one who knew I cut myself, he was the only who helped me.

Dream was such a different person online, maybe Clay was changing to the sweet person online now, but I was still too hurt about what happened and I hated myself too much to keep myself from cutting.

I kept cutting myself for minutes straight, just as long as I started feeling a bit lightheaded. I knew I probably went way too far, but I didn't fight against it. I laid my blade down on the ground and just sat back against the wall as I watched my arms bleed.

Something in me wanted to survive, I wanted to see my parents again, but at the same time I felt lonely, insecure and fed up. I sat like this for ten more minutes as I heard the door of our room opening. I heard someone walk in as I figured it was Clay.

'George, where are you?'

I ignored him and stared at my badly bleeding arms. Clay started knocking on the door. 'Please, open it.'

'I c-can't.'

'Well, then I'll get something sharp to open it.'

I heard Clay running around in the room and looking through some stuff, just to come back a bit later. He started trying to open the door and a minute later, he pushed it open, running in.

'Oh my goodness, George,' he muttered. He sat down next to me and grabbed my arms. 'Bandage?'

I slowly pointed at my bag and he immediately walked to it, grabbing some of my bandages. He started wrapping them around my arms really tightly. 'Did you attempt suicide?'

I shrugged. 'I g-guess n-not.'

TW over

Clay nodded slowly and I looked at him shortly.

'W-why do y-you help me?'

'Because I'm the idiot here, there's no way of making any of this right, but I can at least be here for you. Just like I was there for you on Discord. You're the boy who I love, you're the boy who knows the most about me.'

'Clay,' I whispered. 'I actually didn't know it was you.'

Clay nodded. 'I know and I'm so sorry. I have to call for help now, George. You're really pale and you need to go to the hospital.'

'I don't want you to get into trouble.'

'I deserve that.'

'But I love you too, I don't want you to leave the camp.'

Clay shrugged and lifted me up. He carried me to my bed and cuddled up with me. 'Is this okay? Can I cuddle with you?'

I nodded shyly and Clay held me tightly, running his head through my hair to calm me down. 'It's fine, George. I'm going home, but I'll text you on Discord.'

'You looked forwards to this for years, you told me on Discord.'

Clay shrugged. 'And I messed it up.'

'Clay, we can tell everyone what happened, but I don't want you to go home. We can explain it to them, maybe you will have another chance if I tell them that I don't want you to go.'

'Fine, but if I have to, I deserve it.'

'But Clay, you've been abused by your dad, your best friend. Of course I understand that you turn out to be this way.'

'It doesn't make up for it. I can never forgive myself.'

I smiled at him and did something I never expected myself to do. I leaned in slightly and pressed a really short kiss on his lips. Clay was really red and he looked down at his hands.

'Do you forgive yourself now? I forgave you.'

Clay smiled shyly and stood up after. 'I'll call for help now.'

He grabbed his phone and called Sapnap. He told Sapnap to immediately get a teacher and to come here as fast as possible. When he hung up, he smiled at me.

'That was my first kiss,' he said shyly as he blushed really brightly. 'I wished it to be you, but I never expected it to be you.'

'If you're still here this evening, can you be with me when I sleep?'

'Of course,' Clay smiled. 'I will comfort you when you cry about your family or your home. I will tell you how beautiful you are when you're insecure. I will tell you how much I love you when you hate yourself.'

I smiled and looked at the door opening. A teacher and Sapnap ran in the teacher looked at me in shock. Blood was coming through the bandages at this point and she immediately grabbed her phone to call an ambulance.

After she called she looked at me and then back at Clay. 'What happened here?' she asked in shock.

'I know I'm going to get send back home, but let me explain,' Clay started.

'I don't want him to go home, please let him stay.'

'I don't know what happened.'

'Just promise me that he can stay, I need him whatever he has done. I really need him.'

The teacher nodded slowly and looked at Clay. 'Firstly, tell me what happened.'

1012 words

Summary:
George cut himself really badly and Clay took care of him.