Candy ✔ (In Editing)

-Chapter Twenty Four

What does one do on this earth to be cast with such unbelievable statements? Imagine a whole me, cheating.

They say experience is the best teacher.  And they are right. Mama says we must not do unto others what we don't want done to us. It comes back to popular phrases like 'what goes around comes back around' and maybe 'karma is a bitch'. But the latter depends on your situation.

I absolutely felt devastated when my very first boyfriend cheated on me. To be honest we didn't have a romantic connection but it didn't make his damage any better. It went to show the lack of respect he had for me. The audacity to lie to my face even when he knew I had caught him out. My second boyfriend wasn't any better but at least my third boyfriend was man enough to break up with before he gave into temptation.

I know how it feels to be cheated on and that is the reason why I wouldn't dare to do that to another human being. It would be just plain cruelty. Lack of any morality.

So when I reminisced the memories of what happened a few days ago I couldn't help but feel angry. I spent my days wallowing thinking about what I might have done to make him doubt my commitment to him. But as soon as I woke up today the self-doubt disappeared. I realised it wasn't me. I did nothing wrong. The problem was Justin, more specifically his insecurity.

When you're with a guy like Justin you would not think he could ever be insecure, if anything I should be the insecure one. I see how ladies look at him like a fine art billion dollar piece, I do too. I do admit I do get jealous and maybe a bit insecure but when he pulls me closer to him, when his warmth spreads through my entire body, when he kisses me so deeply and passionately, it makes all my doubts and worries disappear. His actions speak louder than any words spoken by men. He is here to stay and nothing could swerve him away from me. That's what his actions tell me.

I know it's a powerful declaration for me to make considering he never actually said it but when a man like Justin looks at you like you're his world, when he touches you like you are the rarest gem one could find, when he kisses you like you give him oxygen he needs to breathe, words aren't exactly necessary.

My anger subsided when I thought that I might have not been doing the same for him. I know it is not my fault that he feels insecure but if he could meet me half way then surely I can do the same for him. He has to deal with his insecurity and although it might be a self problem, he is my partner. Mine. So I won't let him deal with this alone. We are in this together and I will help him see that he is the man for me because I love him.

I love him so much. And although I cannot fathom the courage to tell him to his face, I can show him. Let's hope my actions speak louder than words.

Now that I think about it, I miss him. I miss him so much it hurts. He called at least twice a day but I kept on ignoring his calls. He left voice messages apologizing each time, pleading with me to answer his calls but I never did. My heart fell deeper into my chest everytime I declined his call. It's like my mind and heart both had different reactions to the situation. My mind was telling me I should punish him for doubting me but my heart...my heart just wanted him close to me. My heart didn't care that it bled the past few days because of him or maybe it's just in my thoughts. If anything my heart was suggesting I blew things out of proportion. I know I did.

"Hello!" Lisa waved her hand in front of my face.

"Yes?"

"Did I hear what I just said?" She asked, looking annoyed with me. I would be too.

"No?" I picked up my handbag, "look I have to go."

"Lunch ends in thirty minutes." She protested and I grinned. Someone is needy.