-Chapter Forty Seven

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"No, come on we've given you enough time to cry over that good for nothing cheating douchebag." Lisa said opening the curtains. I hissed at the brightness like a vampire. Who wouldn't when they felt temporarily blinded.

"That good for nothing cheating douchebag is my husband so I think I'm entitled to a whole lifetime of crying and feeling sorry for myself." I said, my voice feeling a bit scratchy.

Lisa smiled which creeped me out. Lisa does smile from time to time but the thing that creeper me out is how wide her smile was.

"Your big mouth is back which means you're feeling better." She said as she ripped the covers off me. I groaned and tried to reach for them but she stepped further away from me so I couldn't reach her. I sighed and slumped against the bed. I put my arm over my eyes to shield away from the sun.

"Lisa I'm not—"

"I'm hearing none of what you're trying to say. You are going to take a shower, get dressed then we're going to seek professional help to at least make you look presentable and afterwards and we're going to get dressed in Wayne's basketball jersey and cheer him on from the VIP section where all the WAGS sit. Got it?"

When she was met with silence she removed my arm from my eyes. "Okay, got it."

"Good, now go get ready I'll order breakfast."  With that being said she left the room.

I got off the bed and dragged myself to the bathroom. The mirror on the wall reflected dear old me, looking like I'm about to fall into depression any day now, if I haven't already, and all because a guy who has turned my world upside down.

As humans, we are made to adapt which means we can adapt to almost anything especially in repetition. For example if the normal temperature where you live is usually 20°C and it changes to 30°C, we can adapt. I mean it would be unbearable at first but if it continues to be 30°C for days maybe weeks our body will adapt and the weather will become more bearable.

Now tell me why after three heartbreaks, haven't I adapted? I mean I might not loved the other three but I would like to believe that I felt something for them even if it's only a tiny bit. But my past three heartbreaks proved to be nothing compared to this one I'm experiencing. This heartbreak was intense, it weakened every part of my body and soul. It made me feel like I needed Justin for survival, and maybe I do need him because I'm yet another weak woman who wants to fall back into the arms of a man who hurt her beyond what she thought he could. It was really difficult to argue with my heart to stop calling out for him because he is the reason my tears never run dry. He is the reason my future suddenly looks like a never ending dark ally of unhappiness. He is the reason watching night turn to day is a painful experience because it means I've spent yet another day without him. I love Justin, so much. What he did didn't suddenly destroy my love for him, that would be too easy on my part, it just made my heart break.

The only comfort I find is when I receive his voicemails and I listen to them till I fall asleep, whether it's day or night. Justin keeps on bugging Lisa for my whereabouts and calling her endlessly begging her to speak to me.

I tried. I tried so hard but everytime my mouth opened to say something my throat would close up and an ugly sob would tear out of my mouth. He would apologize many times over the phone with the most pained voice I've ever heard from him. It was as if hearing me crying broke him, which made me cry even louder. But then I think to myself he shouldn't have cheated if he cared for me but he did. In that very thought I would hang up and he would call again but I'd ignore it.

I took a quick shower and put on whatever outfit I found first. I then made my bed and went out of the room to the living room for breakfast. When I got there I found Lisa thanking the maid for bringing our food.

"Where is Wayne?" I asked, looking around.

"He said something about hyping up for the game tonight." Lisa said and handed me my plate.

"Okay." I said and dug into my plate.

•••

"I need you to get rid of the straightened hair and bring back her pitch black Afro." Lisa said to the lady at the beauty shop.

"No, I like my hair straightened." I told them. Lisa just looked at me through the mirror with one of her 'you're lying to me' looks.

"My hair is fine. Justin likes it like this." I argued.

"No speaking about him today. I don't want to hear a single word about him. I'll call it the Justin free day." She said and I nodded.

"Okay you can proceed to bring my Afro back." I said and she grinned.

We spent the entire day at the beauty shop. We did my hair, waxing (which was pretty painful), we had a relaxation message and even went to shop for a dress or two.

"Now you look better." Lisa said as we entered the hotel room. Yes I did look better but I didn't feel any different. Throughout my time at the beauty shop I wanted to leave and come back to the hotel room but I didn't want to dampen Lisa's mood especially because she was going out of her character and personality to cheer me up. I faked a smile here and there and imputed in conversations so she wouldn't worry but deep down I didn't feel any better.

"Go get changed then we can go." Lisa threw me a jersey.

"Sure." I caught it and slipped into my bedroom. I breathed a sigh of relief my whole facade falling away. I might have felt bad but I felt a tiny bit better knowing that I wouldn't be a burden to Lisa anymore.

And that is how I came up with the idea: Fake it till you make it.

*****

Hey guys.

I'm sorry for the late update, this weekend I was caught up watching Blood and Water season 2. I love Blood and Water so fucking much and at the end I was begging for season 3 to follow soon.😭❤

Anyway this chapter is shitty. I wrote it in a rush because I really wanted to update today. But no worries the next chapter will be better.

Thank you for all your votes and comments, adding my book to your reading lists and following me as well. I love you guys!

XOXO
Khanya.

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